{"id":36475,"date":"2019-01-07T07:54:34","date_gmt":"2019-01-07T06:54:34","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.fjala.info\/?p=36475"},"modified":"2019-01-15T11:15:35","modified_gmt":"2019-01-15T10:15:35","slug":"vajzat-shqiptare-nuk-po-dine-ta-menaxhojne-si-duhet-lirine-e-tyre","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/jehonashqiptare.al\/fjala\/vajzat-shqiptare-nuk-po-dine-ta-menaxhojne-si-duhet-lirine-e-tyre\/","title":{"rendered":"VAJZAT SHQIPTARE NUK PO DIN\u00cb TA MENAXHOJN\u00cb SI DUHET LIRIN\u00cb E TYRE…"},"content":{"rendered":"

Arben \u00c7okaj<\/strong><\/p>\n

Tek libri i tij “Arratisje nga liria<\/em>“, psikoanalisti i famsh\u00ebm Erich Fromm<\/em> sqaron edhe fenomenin e liris\u00eb s\u00eb njeriut, kur njeriu ka liri, por nuk di ta menaxhoj\u00eb at\u00eb. Prandaj njeriu ose hallakatet, shthuret ose heq dor\u00eb nga liria e tij, n\u00ebnshtrohet dhe futet n\u00ebn nj\u00eb kult fetar, etj. Shoq\u00ebria shqiptare ka shenja t\u00eb dukshme t\u00eb shthurjes, anarkis\u00eb, paaft\u00ebsis\u00eb p\u00ebr t’u marr\u00eb vesh, argumenteve e kund\u00ebrshtis\u00eb s\u00eb panevojshme, protagonizmit e vet\u00eb-r\u00ebnd\u00ebsis\u00eb, agresivitetit, sjelljes n\u00eb gjendjen natyrale, etj. etj. fenomene k\u00ebto, q\u00eb po shkojn\u00eb kund\u00ebr liris\u00eb s\u00eb fituar. Dhe p\u00ebr m\u00eb tep\u00ebr, ka edhe mungesa\u00eb t\u00eb theksuar t\u00eb aft\u00ebsis\u00eb s\u00eb komunikimit…<\/p>\n

N\u00eb k\u00ebt\u00eb kontekst, vihet re nj\u00eb fenomen mjaft negativ, q\u00eb ka ardhur n\u00eb shoq\u00ebrin\u00eb ton\u00eb, pik\u00ebrisht me fitimin e liris\u00eb. E kjo sidomos p\u00ebr vajzat shiptare. Fitimi i liris\u00eb nga femrat shqiptare, \u00ebsht\u00eb nj\u00eb fenomen relativisht i ri, dhe pavar\u00ebsisht t\u00eb mir\u00ebs s\u00eb p\u00ebrgjithshme nga kjo, po duket sikur nuk po dim\u00eb t\u00eb sillemi si duhet n\u00eb shoq\u00ebrin\u00eb ton\u00eb, pasi bashk\u00eb me lirin\u00eb ka ardhur edhe shthurja e vajzave shqiptare, apo edhe kurv\u00ebria, q\u00eb nuk ka qen\u00eb tradit\u00eb n\u00eb shoq\u00ebrin\u00eb shqiptare. Un\u00eb jam pra, q\u00eb femrat n\u00eb shoq\u00ebri t\u00eb ken\u00eb t\u00eb drejta t\u00eb barabarta me burrat, paga t\u00eb barabarta p\u00ebr t\u00eb nj\u00ebjt\u00ebn pun\u00eb, por jo n\u00eb em\u00ebr t\u00eb k\u00ebsaj barazie, t\u00eb kemi t\u00eb drejta “speciale” t\u00eb tyre. Femrat duhet ta vler\u00ebsojn\u00eb barazin\u00eb dhe t\u00eb sillen n\u00eb m\u00ebnyr\u00eb t\u00eb p\u00ebrgjegjshme… E kjo si duket, do koh\u00ebn e vet, p\u00ebr t’u arritur…<\/p>\n

Se ka raste sa t\u00eb duash, q\u00eb nuk po e b\u00ebjn\u00eb k\u00ebt\u00eb. N\u00eb em\u00ebr t\u00eb k\u00ebsaj lirie, atyre u ka hyr\u00eb edhe delli i marris\u00eb, e nuk po p\u00ebrmbahen… Ky fenomen \u00ebsht\u00eb mjaft shqet\u00ebsues dhe po e \u00e7on shoq\u00ebrin\u00eb ton\u00eb gradualisht drejt shp\u00ebrb\u00ebrjes, drejt shkat\u00ebrrimit. Shumica e \u00e7ifteve n\u00eb Tiran\u00eb sot po ndahen… M\u00eb shum\u00eb ndahen se sa bashkohen… Arsyet jan\u00eb t\u00eb shumta. Por kryesisht, kjo si fenoment psikologjik ose psikik vjen edhe nga mosmenaxhimi si duhet i liris\u00eb, q\u00eb kemi fituar, e sidomos nga femrat\/vajzat shqiptare, prandaj familja shqiptare po shkon n\u00eb buz\u00eb t\u00eb gremin\u00ebs. E bashk\u00eb me t\u00eb, edhe shoq\u00ebria shqiptare, pasi familja \u00ebsht\u00eb baza e shoq\u00ebris\u00eb. Se me lirin\u00eb, vijn\u00eb edhe rregullat, por meq\u00eb rregulla nuk ka, ose nuk zbatohen, kemi kaluar n\u00eb nj\u00eb far\u00eb anarkie, ku familja shqiptare po paguan edhe \u00e7mimin m\u00eb t\u00eb lart\u00eb…<\/p>\n

EDUKAT\u00cb E UL\u00cbT FAMILJARE E PERSONALE…<\/strong><\/p>\n

Ja \u00e7far\u00eb pohon nj\u00eb gazetare e re n\u00eb Tiran\u00eb, Ambrozia Meta<\/em>, n\u00eb nj\u00eb postim n\u00eb FB. Duket si postim me humor, por “pas detajeve t\u00eb vogla, fshihet djalli<\/em>“, si i thon\u00eb. Dhe nuk \u00ebsht\u00eb vet\u00ebm kjo. Nj\u00eb vajz\u00eb e bukur, simpatike dhe e sh\u00ebndetshme nga Shkupi, nj\u00eb biznesmene e suksesshme, edhe pse 25 vje\u00e7e, m\u00eb tregonte para disa koh\u00ebsh problemet e saj… Kishte qen\u00eb e fejuar dhe ishte ndar\u00eb me t\u00eb fejuarin, thoshte se nuk ka shkuar me t\u00eb. Duket se paaft\u00ebsia e saj si “llastic\u00eb<\/em>,”, si vajz\u00eb e vetme, p\u00ebr t\u00eb menaxhuar lirin\u00eb dhe temperamentin e saj, e ka \u00e7uar at\u00eb deri te ndarja… Por m\u00eb keq ende, ajo ka humbur besimin, se \u00ebsht\u00eb n\u00eb gjendje t\u00eb gjej\u00eb nj\u00eb mashkull\/djal\u00eb, q\u00eb t\u00eb mund ta mbaj\u00eb at\u00eb! Pasi ajo i shet mend secilit mashkull, me t\u00eb cilin ka t\u00eb b\u00ebj\u00eb, e pastaj habitet n\u00eb fund, pse refuzohet…<\/p>\n

\"\"<\/p>\n

Po ashtu, nj\u00eb vajz\u00eb tjet\u00ebr nga Tirana, e suksesshme, “super e shkolluar” dhe me pun\u00eb n\u00eb nj\u00eb bank\u00eb n\u00eb Milano, rreth 31 vje\u00e7e, “krifsh\u00eb naturale”, m\u00eb sqaronte nj\u00eb her\u00eb, se i ati i saj thot\u00eb: “nuk ka lindur ende ai burr\u00eb, q\u00eb kjo t\u00eb mund ta marr\u00eb…<\/em>” Pra, jan\u00eb vajzat ato q\u00eb edhe i martojn\u00eb sot burrat, e jo burrat grat\u00eb… Ka ndryshuar koha… Prandaj edhe ndeshemi me k\u00ebto parregullsi… se gjendja mentale e femrave shqiptare, ka avancuar tep\u00ebr larg… Po ashtu edhe nj\u00eb vajz\u00eb nga Shkodra, e zgjuar, e angazhuar publikisht me shkrime e libra, rreth 27-28 vje\u00e7e \u00ebsht\u00eb ende “lumturisht e pa pun\u00eb<\/em>“, se po p\u00ebrpiqet t\u00eb planifikoj\u00eb t\u00eb ardhmen e saj, por ende nuk e ka gjetur partnerin e duhur, q\u00eb ta p\u00ebrmbush\u00eb… K\u00ebrko e k\u00ebrko, ky \u00ebsht\u00eb edhe refreni i dit\u00ebs… Dhe sa ta gjesh nj\u00eb, fillo e shaje at\u00eb, ose trego tendenc\u00ebn e dominimit, si tipar dominant, derisa ta humb\u00ebsh edhe at\u00eb, si t\u00eb tjer\u00ebt para tij… E sa \u00ebsht\u00eb numri i atyre vajzave, q\u00eb u ngjajn\u00eb k\u00ebtyre shembujve m\u00eb sip\u00ebr? P\u00ebr t\u00eb mos p\u00ebrmendur rastet tragjike, kur grat\u00eb e vajzat po keqtrajtohen e vriten nga burri, a partneti i tyre, pik\u00ebrisht nga ky konflikt, q\u00eb krijohet me menaxhimin e gabuar t\u00eb liris\u00eb s\u00eb fituar…<\/p>\n

E k\u00ebshtu, vajzat tona t\u00eb mira, rrin\u00eb e rrin\u00eb n\u00eb k\u00ebrkim, pa ditur t\u00eb ngulen, ose ngulen dhe nuk din\u00eb t\u00eb q\u00ebndrojn\u00eb, e k\u00ebrcejn\u00eb k\u00ebshtu prap\u00eb n\u00eb vetmi dhe po ndeshemi fatkeq\u00ebsisht ndjesh\u00ebm edhe me fenomenin e n\u00ebnave t\u00eb vetmuara, q\u00eb po i rrisin f\u00ebmij\u00ebt e tyre, pa figur\u00ebn e babait n\u00eb sht\u00ebpi, pasi \u00e7iftet po ndahen nga egoizmi, p\u00ebr gj\u00ebra jo edhe aq thelb\u00ebsore… E pra, nj\u00eb grua t\u00eb mir\u00eb, pak meshkuj e ndajn\u00eb… Prandaj mendoj se kemi t\u00eb b\u00ebjm\u00eb me kultur\u00eb e edukat\u00eb t\u00eb ul\u00ebt familjare e personale.<\/p>\n

Nj\u00eb shoq\u00ebri n\u00eb l\u00ebvizje… Nj\u00eb shoq\u00ebri, q\u00eb ka 28 vjet, q\u00eb ka fituar lirin\u00eb, por q\u00eb duke mos ditur ta shfryt\u00ebzoj\u00eb at\u00eb, ka kaluar sa nga anarkia n\u00ebn dogmat fetare t\u00eb n\u00ebnshtrimit, sa nga veset e k\u00ebqia te injoranca e mos-shkollimit, sa nga vet\u00eb-r\u00ebnd\u00ebsia, te prepotenca, ose aplikimi i unit n\u00eb gjendjen natyrale. N\u00eb shoq\u00ebrin\u00eb ton\u00eb mundet, q\u00eb meshkujt jan\u00eb m\u00eb shum\u00eb p\u00ebrgjegj\u00ebs p\u00ebr k\u00ebt\u00eb q\u00eb po ndodh, kan\u00eb m\u00eb shum\u00eb faj se femrat, por jan\u00eb femrat ato, q\u00eb paguajn\u00eb edhe \u00e7mimin m\u00eb t\u00eb madh, n\u00eb fund t\u00eb fundit, se jan\u00eb disi m\u00eb t\u00eb rrezikuara.<\/p>\n

Dhe femrat duhet ta dijn\u00eb, se p\u00ebr t\u00eb gjetur partner, apo p\u00ebr t’u martuar, duhet gjetur nj\u00eb mashkull, nj\u00eb burr\u00eb. Dhe mos t\u00eb shikojn\u00eb ta injorojn\u00eb at\u00eb, ta konkurrojn\u00eb, e aq m\u00eb keq ta posht\u00ebrojn\u00eb at\u00eb, se gjojsa jan\u00eb “super t\u00eb shkolluara”, “intelektuale”, etj., apo se din\u00eb m\u00eb shum\u00eb, se pastaj vijm\u00eb e num\u00ebrojm\u00eb rastet e m\u00ebsip\u00ebrme t\u00eb d\u00ebshtimeve. At\u00ebher\u00eb na rroft\u00eb shkolla e dija, n\u00ebse d\u00ebshtojm\u00eb si individ\u00eb, e si shoq\u00ebri. Pasi p\u00ebr mua, kjo shoq\u00ebria jon\u00eb \u00ebsh\u00eb e d\u00ebshtuar n\u00eb shum\u00eb plane e nivele dhe tendenc\u00ebn e ka drejt s\u00eb keqes…<\/p>\n

N\u00eb Danimark\u00eb, ku liria e femrave \u00ebsht\u00eb padyshim m\u00eb e madhe, se n\u00eb shum\u00eb vende t\u00eb tjera t\u00eb bot\u00ebs, e p\u00ebr rrjedhoj\u00eb edhe se n\u00eb shoq\u00ebrin\u00eb shqiptare, nuk mbaj mend t\u00eb kem pattur problem me ndonj\u00eb vajz\u00eb… Kurse n\u00eb Shqip\u00ebri, nuk ke problem vet\u00ebm me vajzat, ke problem me secilin… Nd\u00ebrsa p\u00ebr vajzat, mund t\u00eb them, se \u00ebsht\u00eb tep\u00ebr e v\u00ebshtir\u00eb ta gjesh nj\u00eb vajz\u00eb k\u00ebtej, me t\u00eb cil\u00ebbn nuk t\u00eb dalin probleme! H\u00eb mo na rroft\u00eb shkolla e dija pastaj, n\u00eb paaft\u00ebsin\u00eb ton\u00eb si shoq\u00ebri p\u00ebr t\u00eb komunikuar, n\u00eb paaft\u00ebsin\u00eb ton\u00eb p\u00ebr t’u marr\u00eb vesh!<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Arben \u00c7okaj Tek libri i tij “Arratisje nga liria“, psikoanalisti i famsh\u00ebm Erich Fromm sqaron edhe fenomenin e liris\u00eb s\u00eb njeriut, kur njeriu ka liri, por nuk di ta menaxhoj\u00eb at\u00eb. Prandaj njeriu ose hallakatet, shthuret ose heq dor\u00eb nga liria e tij, n\u00ebnshtrohet dhe futet n\u00ebn nj\u00eb kult fetar, etj. Shoq\u00ebria shqiptare ka shenja […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":37053,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[2],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-36475","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","category-artikuj"],"yoast_head":"\nVAJZAT SHQIPTARE NUK PO DIN\u00cb TA MENAXHOJN\u00cb SI DUHET LIRIN\u00cb E TYRE... - FJALA e LIR\u00cb<\/title>\n<meta name=\"robots\" content=\"index, follow, max-snippet:-1, max-image-preview:large, max-video-preview:-1\" \/>\n<link rel=\"canonical\" href=\"https:\/\/jehonashqiptare.al\/fjala\/vajzat-shqiptare-nuk-po-dine-ta-menaxhojne-si-duhet-lirine-e-tyre\/\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:locale\" content=\"en_US\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:type\" content=\"article\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:title\" content=\"VAJZAT SHQIPTARE NUK PO DIN\u00cb TA MENAXHOJN\u00cb SI DUHET LIRIN\u00cb E TYRE... - FJALA e LIR\u00cb\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:description\" content=\"Arben \u00c7okaj Tek libri i tij “Arratisje nga liria“, psikoanalisti i famsh\u00ebm Erich Fromm sqaron edhe fenomenin e liris\u00eb s\u00eb njeriut, kur njeriu ka liri, por nuk di ta menaxhoj\u00eb at\u00eb. Prandaj njeriu ose hallakatet, shthuret ose heq dor\u00eb nga liria e tij, n\u00ebnshtrohet dhe futet n\u00ebn nj\u00eb kult fetar, etj. 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