{"id":37867,"date":"2019-02-02T01:32:22","date_gmt":"2019-02-02T00:32:22","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.fjala.info\/?p=37867"},"modified":"2019-02-02T11:44:02","modified_gmt":"2019-02-02T10:44:02","slug":"pse-jemi-keshtu-si-jemi","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/jehonashqiptare.al\/fjala\/pse-jemi-keshtu-si-jemi\/","title":{"rendered":"Pse jemi k\u00ebshtu si jemi?"},"content":{"rendered":"

Nj\u00eb p\u00ebrqasje psikologjike mbi (mos)edukimin e jet\u00ebs shqiptare, e mb\u00ebshtetur n\u00eb studimet e psikoanalistit dhe psikiatrit t\u00eb njohur gjerman Hans-Joachim Maaz.<\/em><\/p><\/blockquote>\n

\u201cShqiptaret nuk kane dashni p\u00ebr njeni \u2013 tjetrin, jan\u00eb e keqja e vetvetit<\/em>\u201d<\/p>\n

At Zef Pllumi<\/strong><\/p><\/blockquote>\n

Nga Zef Ahmeti<\/strong>, Drita.Info<\/a><\/p>\n

Ka koh\u00eb q\u00eb po p\u00ebrpiqem t\u00eb kuptoj si dhe pse ka ndodhur q\u00eb p\u00ebr dekada jetuan shqiptar\u00ebt n\u00eb sistem diktatorial komunist, dhe mbas dy dekadash e gjysm\u00eb askush nuk e ndjen vet\u00ebn p\u00ebr fajtor. Sikur n\u00eb k\u00ebt\u00eb vend dhe n\u00eb at\u00eb sistem t\u00eb ishin njer\u00ebzit nga nj\u00eb vend, ku nuk i dihet fija. Nga e kaluara dhe e sotmja kam kuptuar se grupet radikale, ekstremiste dhe ideologjike u ofrojn\u00eb njer\u00ebzve me vetje t\u00eb shthurur struktura hierarkike q\u00eb u mund\u00ebsojn\u00eb mb\u00ebshtetje dhe orientim. Mungesa e njohjes s\u00eb vetes, njeriun e b\u00ebn t\u00eb rr\u00ebshqas\u00eb n\u00eb ideologji apo t’i bashkohet nj\u00eb grupi t\u00eb caktuar, n\u00eb kuad\u00ebr t\u00eb s\u00eb cilit mund t\u00eb fitoj\u00eb reputacion.<\/p>\n

N\u00ebse i shikojm\u00eb nevojat themelore t\u00eb njeriut n\u00eb gjenez\u00ebn e tyre, ato ndahen n\u00eb k\u00ebrkesa trupore, mentale, sociale dhe shpirt\u00ebrore. Trupi k\u00ebrkon oksigjenin, ushqimin, ujin, rregullatorin e ngrohjes, l\u00ebvizjen, seksin dhe sekrecionin. Mentalja k\u00ebrkon mir\u00ebkuptim, v\u00ebrtetim, nxitje, p\u00ebrkrahje, inkurajim, mbrojte, ngush\u00ebllim dhe kufizim \u2013 ndryshe dashuri. Ekzistenca jon\u00eb si qenie sociale k\u00ebrkon kontaktin, pasqyrimin, bashk\u00ebsin\u00eb, dometh\u00ebnien, njohjen dhe kritik\u00ebn. Nd\u00ebrsa shpirt\u00ebrorja k\u00ebrkon kuptimin, realizimin dhe p\u00ebrvoj\u00ebn p\u00ebr nd\u00ebrlidhjen me marr\u00ebdh\u00ebniet m\u00eb t\u00eb larta \u2013 vendlindja, kombi, njer\u00ebzimi, natyra e Zoti. Ndodh q\u00eb k\u00ebto nevoja bazike paraqiten shpesh te njeriu n\u00eb tensione emocionale, pasi secili ka nevojat e veta. T\u00eb kujtojm\u00eb vet\u00eb at\u00eb si b\u00ebnte Sigurimi, duke i shfryt\u00ebzuar k\u00ebto nevoja themelore me sugjestion: ti je i r\u00ebnd\u00ebsish\u00ebm dhe ajo \u00e7far\u00eb ke p\u00ebr t\u00eb na treguar \u00ebsht\u00eb p\u00ebr ne nj\u00eb \u00e7\u00ebshtje e mir\u00eb, se do jet\u00eb edhe n\u00eb sh\u00ebrbim t\u00eb familjes q\u00eb ti i p\u00ebrket.<\/p>\n

Disa kan\u00eb nevoj\u00eb p\u00ebr m\u00eb shum\u00eb kontakte sociale, disa t\u00eb tjer\u00eb kan\u00eb nevoj\u00eb p\u00ebr besim e meditim, disa t\u00eb tjer\u00eb akoma me p\u00ebrjetimet n\u00eb natyr\u00eb i plot\u00ebsojn\u00eb nevojat e besimit. Mir\u00ebpo, nj\u00eb gj\u00eb \u00ebsht\u00eb m\u00eb se e sigurt; nj\u00eb dit\u00eb, her\u00ebt a von\u00eb, do \u201cdemaskohet\u201d te secili njeri, po q\u00eb se nj\u00eb nga k\u00ebto nevoja themelore ka mbetur e plot\u00ebsuar. N\u00ebse nj\u00eb nga k\u00ebto nevojat themelore mbetet e parealizuar, at\u00ebher\u00eb k\u00ebrkohet nj\u00eb \u201cz\u00ebvend\u00ebsim\u201d, q\u00eb n\u00eb fakt s\u2019e k\u00ebnaq asnj\u00ebher\u00eb nevoj\u00ebn themelore origjinale. P\u00ebr pasoj\u00eb kemi p\u00ebrher\u00eb nj\u00eb shtytje q\u00eb t\u00eb rritet k\u00ebrkesa p\u00ebr k\u00ebto k\u00ebnaq\u00ebsi t\u00eb z\u00ebvend\u00ebsueshme.<\/p>\n

Si krijes\u00eb sociale, njeriu marr\u00ebdh\u00ebniet i vendos p\u00ebr zhvillimin e tij, nd\u00ebrsa kultura e marr\u00ebdh\u00ebnieve p\u00ebrcakton cil\u00ebsin\u00eb e jetes\u00ebs. Menj\u00ebher\u00eb pas lindjes njeriu \u00ebsht\u00eb subjekt i marr\u00ebdh\u00ebnieve. Nd\u00ebrkoh\u00eb f\u00ebmija i lindur me koh\u00eb programohet nga ndikimet e prind\u00ebrve. Zhvillimi i sh\u00ebndosh\u00eb i f\u00ebmij\u00ebs lidhet ngusht\u00eb me aft\u00ebsin\u00eb e prind\u00ebrve n\u00eb detyr\u00ebn e tyre. \u00cbsht\u00eb e pranishme bindja se f\u00ebmija \u00ebsht\u00eb objekt i edukimit, q\u00eb duhet t’i m\u00ebsohet \u00e7ka \u00ebsht\u00eb mir\u00eb e \u00e7ka \u00ebsht\u00eb keq. F\u00ebmija i ekspozohet edukimit sipas mendimeve t\u00eb familjes dhe n\u00eb kuad\u00ebr t\u00eb normave q\u00eb ofron shoq\u00ebria dhe pritjeve zhvillimore t\u00eb saja. Edukimi b\u00ebhet sipas shtypjes autoritare, frik\u00ebsimit, manipulimit, lavd\u00ebrimit dhe d\u00ebnimit, duke p\u00ebrfunduar n\u00eb n\u00ebnshtrimin e f\u00ebmij\u00ebs ndaj vullnetit t\u00eb t\u00eb rriturve. Kjo nuk \u00ebsht\u00eb e huaj dhe as e re p\u00ebr rrethanat shqiptare. Kjo m\u00ebnyr\u00eb e edukimit shpesh nxit edhe rebelimin e f\u00ebmij\u00ebve dhe mbase edhe shkakton s\u00ebmundje, si pasoj\u00eb e ndrydhjes n\u00eb vete t\u00eb nevojave personale.<\/p>\n

Sot, \u00ebsht\u00eb e njohur se shanset e zhvillimit t\u00eb mir\u00eb t\u00eb f\u00ebmij\u00ebs varen thell\u00ebsisht nga raportet e tij q\u00eb ka me prind\u00ebrit, v\u00ebllez\u00ebrit e motrat, gjysh\u00ebrit, \u00e7erdhet etj., sa k\u00ebta jan\u00eb t\u00eb aft\u00eb t\u00eb kuptojn\u00eb sakt\u00eb marr\u00ebdh\u00ebniet me f\u00ebmij\u00ebt, p\u00ebr t’i kuptuar drejt\u00eb dhe t\u00eb reagojn\u00eb n\u00eb m\u00ebnyr\u00eb preferuese adekuate. Kjo do t\u00eb thot\u00eb t\u00eb krijohet nj\u00eb k\u00ebnaq\u00ebsi optimale n\u00eb cil\u00ebsi dhe sasi n\u00eb nevojat e demonstruara, optimale n\u00eb ndjesit\u00eb e f\u00ebmij\u00ebs dhe jo sipas mendimeve dhe gjykimeve t\u00eb kujdestarit. Si q\u00ebndron kjo n\u00eb shoq\u00ebrit\u00eb shqiptare? Si edukohet sot f\u00ebmija, apo m\u00eb sakt\u00eb si programohet sot f\u00ebmija shqiptar? P\u00ebr f\u00ebmij\u00ebn, thon\u00eb studimet psikologjike, cil\u00ebsia e marr\u00ebdh\u00ebnieve t\u00eb hershme me n\u00ebn\u00ebn \u00ebsht\u00eb shum\u00eb e r\u00ebnd\u00ebsish\u00ebm p\u00ebr mir\u00ebqenien e m\u00ebvonshme t\u00eb tij.<\/p>\n

Fati i nj\u00eb shoq\u00ebrie varet krejt\u00ebsisht nga pyetja vendimtare se si sillemi me f\u00ebmij\u00ebt, se duhet t\u00eb edukohen apo t\u00eb reflektojm\u00eb me marr\u00ebdh\u00ebnie optimale. N\u00eb fakt, ne jemi m\u00ebsuar t\u00eb d\u00ebgjojm\u00eb se f\u00ebmija duhet t\u00eb edukohet. K\u00ebt\u00eb e d\u00ebgjojm\u00eb gjithandej. Sipas k\u00ebsaj, na del se edukimi prodhon f\u00ebmij\u00eb t\u00eb mir\u00eb apo t\u00eb k\u00ebqij, fitues apo humb\u00ebs, f\u00ebmij\u00eb me sjellje t\u00eb mira apo me sjellje t\u00eb k\u00ebqija. N\u00eb k\u00ebt\u00eb m\u00ebnyr\u00eb, format e edukimit mund t\u00eb jen\u00eb fajtore p\u00ebr zhvillime t\u00eb deformuara shoq\u00ebrore. Dhe kjo vlen edhe p\u00ebr f\u00ebmij\u00ebn shqiptar, ai del i edukuar mir\u00eb apo keq, i sjellsh\u00ebm apo i pasjellsh\u00ebm.<\/p>\n

N\u00eb an\u00ebn tjet\u00ebr marr\u00ebdh\u00ebniet mes prind\u00ebrve dhe f\u00ebmij\u00ebve nuk kan\u00eb synime zhvillimore dhe vler\u00ebsime, por k\u00ebrkojn\u00eb nxitjen e mir\u00ebkuptimit, vler\u00ebson dallimet, fuqizon vler\u00ebn p\u00ebr vet\u00ebn, e mund\u00ebson integrimin social dhe, n\u00ebse thjesht\u00ebsohet edhe m\u00eb shum\u00eb ky dallim, at\u00ebher\u00eb k\u00ebtu mund t\u00eb thuhet: dashuri e jo pushtet, komunitet n\u00eb vend t\u00eb konkurrenc\u00ebs.<\/p>\n

Shpesh, prind\u00ebrit shqiptar\u00eb d\u00ebgjohen duke u arsyetuar se f\u00ebmij\u00ebve u d\u00ebshirojn\u00eb vet\u00ebm m\u00eb t\u00eb mir\u00ebn nd\u00ebrsa f\u00ebmij\u00ebt n\u00eb fakt p\u00ebrjetojn\u00eb krejt t\u00eb kund\u00ebrt\u00ebn, n\u00ebse nuk kuptohet ndjesia dhe nevojat e tij. Lidhja e hershme emocionale luan nj\u00eb rol vendimtar n\u00eb zhvillimin e sh\u00ebndosh\u00eb t\u00eb tij dhe nuk mund t\u00eb z\u00ebvend\u00ebsohet me edukim. K\u00ebshtu q\u00eb nj\u00eb f\u00ebmij\u00eb me shthurje emocionale dhe programime me mang\u00ebsi psiko-sociale mund t\u00eb ket\u00eb m\u00eb von\u00eb nj\u00eb edukim t\u00eb mir\u00eb, porse mbetet nj\u00eb person me mang\u00ebsi, q\u00eb do p\u00ebrpiqet t’i z\u00ebvend\u00ebsoj\u00eb n\u00eb mosh\u00ebn e rritur me veprime tjera, t\u00eb cilat do paraqiten m\u00eb posht\u00eb.<\/p>\n

Cil\u00ebsia e marr\u00ebdh\u00ebnieve e t\u00eb rriturve me f\u00ebmij\u00ebt \u00ebsht\u00eb nj\u00eb q\u00ebndrim i brendsh\u00ebm q\u00eb i nd\u00ebrmjet\u00ebsohet f\u00ebmij\u00ebs n\u00eb m\u00ebnyr\u00eb energjike t\u00eb brendshme dhe emocionale. Nj\u00eb edukim me ndikim represiv dhe autoritar shpien n\u00eb nj\u00eb zhvillim deformues. Si e kemi gjendjen e familjes shqiptare n\u00eb k\u00ebt\u00eb aspekt sot? Si ishte kjo dje?<\/p>\n

Disa sqarime konceptuale<\/strong><\/p>\n

N\u00eb vijim do b\u00ebjm\u00eb nj\u00eb dallim q\u00eb do p\u00ebrdoret k\u00ebtu: vetja dhe uni nuk jan\u00eb t\u00eb nj\u00ebjta. T\u00eb sqarojm\u00eb. P\u00ebrderisa vetja \u00ebsht\u00eb struktura e personit, i cili q\u00eb nga lindja \u00ebsht\u00eb i dalluesh\u00ebm, i dh\u00ebn\u00eb, q\u00eb mund t\u00eb formohet vet\u00ebm n\u00eb jet\u00ebn e hershme \u2013 deri n\u00eb mosh\u00ebn trevje\u00e7are. Vetja si shprehje e struktur\u00ebs s\u00eb personalitetit ndikohet n\u00eb zhvillimin e tij nga rrethanat ndikuese. K\u00ebshtu q\u00eb cil\u00ebsia e hershme e marr\u00ebdh\u00ebnieve, q\u00eb f\u00ebmij\u00ebt i p\u00ebrjetojn\u00eb para, gjat\u00eb dhe pas lindjes, \u00ebsht\u00eb formues n\u00eb vet\u00ebzhvillim. K\u00ebsaj i shtohet uni si funksion shpirt\u00ebror q\u00eb p\u00ebrpiqet t\u00eb baraspeshoj\u00eb pengesat e vetes, ato t`i rregulloj\u00eb, kompensoj\u00eb si dhe t\u00eb nd\u00ebrmjet\u00ebsoj\u00eb e pajtoj\u00eb mes \u00e7arjeve dhe fragmenteve t\u00eb vetes. Uni nd\u00ebrmjet\u00ebson kontributet sekondare psiko-sociale p\u00ebr t\u00eb nd\u00ebrmjet\u00ebsuar mes mund\u00ebsive strukturore dhe k\u00ebrkesave t\u00eb realitetit; uni ndihmon p\u00ebrshtatjen, ndryshimin dhe zhvillimin me rrezikun q\u00eb kontributet e unit largohen shum\u00eb nga baza strukturore e vetes. Kurse po u b\u00eb ngat\u00ebrrimi mes unit dhe vetjes, at\u00ebher\u00eb lindin problemet.<\/p>\n

Ta shikojm\u00eb veten si dhurat\u00eb q\u00eb nuk mundemi ta refuzojm\u00eb e q\u00eb p\u00ebrb\u00ebn baz\u00ebn e individualitetit, unikal t\u00eb ekzistenc\u00ebs son\u00eb.<\/p>\n

P\u00ebr ta kuptuar m\u00eb mir\u00eb se ku d\u00ebshirojm\u00eb t\u00eb dalim, le t\u00eb vazhdojm\u00eb m\u00eb tutje me r\u00ebnd\u00ebsin\u00eb e madhe q\u00eb ka vetja q\u00eb e p\u00ebrshkruam, se si b\u00ebhet form\u00ebsimi i saj te nj\u00eb f\u00ebmij\u00eb deri n\u00eb mosh\u00ebn trevje\u00e7are e q\u00eb \u00ebsht\u00eb vendimtare p\u00ebr sjelljet e m\u00ebvonshme t\u00eb njeriu i pjekur. \u00c7rregullimet e vetjes ndikohen nga disa faktor\u00eb: k\u00ebrc\u00ebnimet e n\u00ebn\u00ebs, q\u00eb m\u00eb von\u00eb i p\u00ebrjetojm\u00eb si k\u00ebrc\u00ebnime t\u00eb vetjes; kapja prej n\u00ebn\u00ebs, q\u00eb n\u00eb mosh\u00ebn e pjekur p\u00ebrjetohet si vetje e torturuar; mungesa e n\u00ebn\u00ebs q\u00eb m\u00eb von\u00eb kalon n\u00eb padashurin\u00eb e vetjes; helmimi i n\u00ebn\u00ebs, q\u00eb ka p\u00ebr pasoj\u00eb var\u00ebsin\u00eb e vetjes; terrorit at\u00ebror, me rezultat t\u00eb m\u00ebvonsh\u00ebm frenimin e vetjes; mallkimi at\u00ebror, me pasoj\u00ebn e m\u00ebvonshme t\u00eb neglizhimit t\u00eb vetjes; keqp\u00ebrdorimi at\u00ebror, q\u00eb ka rezultat vetjen e mbingarkuar.<\/p>\n

Po \u00e7ka kuptojm\u00eb me k\u00ebto?<\/strong> Duken shum\u00eb t\u00eb thata, andaj kan\u00eb nevoj\u00eb p\u00ebr shpjegime t\u00eb m\u00ebtejshme.<\/p>\n

K\u00ebrc\u00ebnimi i vetjes, vjen si pasoj\u00eb e ndjenj\u00ebs s\u00eb fituar n\u00eb f\u00ebmij\u00ebri nga \u201ck\u00ebrc\u00ebnimet e n\u00ebn\u00ebs\u201d, si rezultat i refuzimit t\u00eb nj\u00eb f\u00ebmije si t\u00eb pad\u00ebshiruar, q\u00eb ka p\u00ebrjetuar dhun\u00eb fizike dhe psikike, n\u00eb zhvillimin e tij do b\u00ebhet i pasigurt, labil dhe mbetet i fragmentuar e do ndjehet i k\u00ebrc\u00ebnuar. Kjo shprehet me mendimet: nuk jam i autorizuar, jam i paduruesh\u00ebm, un\u00eb nuk mundem t\u00eb jem. K\u00ebtu p\u00ebr t`u b\u00ebr\u00eb i aft\u00eb p\u00ebr jetes\u00eb uni i vetes ka dy mund\u00ebsi: identifikimi me k\u00ebrc\u00ebnimin ekzistencial ku zhvillon sjellje destruktive \u2013 konsumi i alkoolit, drog\u00ebs \u2013 apo edhe me provokimin e konflikteve t\u00eb ashpra, dhun\u00eb. K\u00ebshtu me sjelljen e tij i jep t\u00eb drejt\u00eb sjelljes refuzuese t\u00eb n\u00ebn\u00ebs ndaj tij \u2013 b\u00ebhet i paduruesh\u00ebm real. Ose si rrug\u00eb e dyt\u00eb k\u00ebrkon rrug\u00eb dhe mjete p\u00ebr t`u hakmarr\u00eb, q\u00eb duke u b\u00ebr\u00eb vet\u00ebkryes i nj\u00eb vepre q\u00eb t\u00eb mos jet\u00eb m\u00eb viktim\u00eb. Tragjike \u00ebsht\u00eb qenia e tij n\u00eb f\u00ebmij\u00ebri viktim\u00eb (si refuzim i hersh\u00ebm ekzistencial), individualisht nuk mund t\u00eb kuptohet m\u00eb. K\u00ebrc\u00ebnimi i brendsh\u00ebm brendashpirt\u00ebror, n\u00eb fakt, b\u00ebhet burimi i v\u00ebrtet\u00eb i \u00e7do radikalizmi dhe ushtrimit t\u00eb dhun\u00ebs. \u00c7do autor dhune fillimisht ka qen\u00eb vet\u00eb viktim\u00eb e dhun\u00ebs psikike apo fizike. Andaj radikalizimet nuk mund t\u00eb m\u00ebnjanohen me p\u00ebrjashtime apo d\u00ebnime, por vet\u00ebm me ndihm\u00eb psikosociale afatgjate \u2013 si parandalim. K\u00ebshtu p\u00ebr t`i ikur k\u00ebrc\u00ebnimit t\u00eb vetes, k\u00ebrc\u00ebnon vet\u00eb dhe \u00ebsht\u00eb i gatsh\u00ebm p\u00ebr dhun\u00eb.<\/p>\n

Kapja prej n\u00ebn\u00ebs, do t\u00eb thot\u00eb s\u00eb nj\u00eb n\u00ebne i duhet f\u00ebmija si v\u00ebrtetim p\u00ebr r\u00ebnd\u00ebsin\u00eb e saj dhe rivler\u00ebsim t\u00eb unit, por edhe si shp\u00ebrqendrim dhe kompensim. Dhe kjo shprehet n\u00eb shprehjet: ti je i imi, ti je prej meje, un\u00eb mundem t\u00eb b\u00ebj me ty \u00e7far\u00eb t\u00eb dua, ti je pron\u00eb e imja. Kjo tendenc\u00eb pron\u00ebsie nuk v\u00ebrehet nga n\u00ebna me arsyetimin se f\u00ebmij\u00ebve u d\u00ebshiron vet\u00ebm m\u00eb t\u00eb mir\u00ebn. N\u00ebnat e tilla keqp\u00ebrdorin energjin\u00eb e jet\u00ebs s\u00eb f\u00ebmij\u00ebve \u2013 p\u00ebrderisa nga jasht\u00eb duket se ato po b\u00ebjn\u00eb gjith\u00e7ka t\u00eb mundshme p\u00ebr f\u00ebmij\u00ebt. N\u00ebna \u201chelmon\u201d f\u00ebmij\u00ebn q\u00eb t\u00eb sillet si i p\u00eblqen asaj, ai manipulohet ashtu q\u00eb t`i ndjej dhe plot\u00ebsoj\u00eb d\u00ebshirat e n\u00ebn\u00ebs, ose i ofrohet kinse dashuri f\u00ebmij\u00ebs, por nuk ka asnj\u00eb ndjenj\u00eb empatie p\u00ebr ndjesin\u00eb e f\u00ebmij\u00ebs. N\u00eb fakt, disa prej tyre shkojn\u00eb aq larg sa u marrin peng shpirtin e f\u00ebmij\u00ebve, dhe nuk \u00ebsht\u00eb p\u00ebr t`u habitur n\u00ebse f\u00ebmij\u00ebt e prekur kalojn\u00eb n\u00eb heshtje, t\u00ebrhiqen, m\u00ebnjanojn\u00eb apo e refuzojn\u00eb kontaktin, b\u00ebjn\u00eb vet\u00ebm njoftime t\u00eb kontrolluara, sepse nuk mund t\u00eb shprehin \u00e7ka v\u00ebrtet\u00eb mendojn\u00eb. N\u00eb momentin kur n\u00ebna gjen z\u00ebvend\u00ebsim p\u00ebr t`u marr\u00eb me dik\u00eb a di\u00e7ka tjet\u00ebr, f\u00ebmija harrohet e k\u00ebshtu te ai shkaktohet nj\u00eb konfuzion dhe paaft\u00ebsi orientimi.<\/p>\n

Mungesa e n\u00ebn\u00ebs, lidhet ngusht\u00eb me munges\u00ebn e kujdesit, e mbrojtjes, t\u00eb qenit i d\u00ebshiruar, i kuptuar. K\u00ebto marr\u00ebdh\u00ebnie mund t\u00eb shpjegohen ndryshe me nj\u00eb fjal\u00eb t\u00eb vetme: me qen\u00eb i dashur prej n\u00ebn\u00ebs. Po mungoi kjo, at\u00ebher\u00eb njeriu n\u00eb mosh\u00ebn e pjekur ka ndjenj\u00ebn e padashuri ndaj vetes. Dashuria e n\u00ebn\u00ebs ndaj f\u00ebmij\u00ebs n\u00ebnkupton t`i jap f\u00ebmij\u00eb dashuri, kujdes, mbrojtje, kureshtje dhe at\u00eb p\u00ebr ta kuptuar e njohur. Nj\u00eb dashurie e pakusht\u00ebzuar, q\u00eb fatkeq\u00ebsisht shpesh mungon te shum\u00eb raporte prind\u00ebr-f\u00ebmij\u00eb. Duke pasur parasysh se n\u00ebna ka edhe detyrime e nevoja tjera, p\u00ebrve\u00e7 f\u00ebmij\u00ebve, at\u00ebher\u00eb shtrohet pyetja se si duhet t`i shpjegohet f\u00ebmij\u00ebs, q\u00eb ai t\u00eb mos ndjej\u00eb se nuk \u00ebsht\u00eb i dashur dhe i refuzuar. Nj\u00eb rol t\u00eb madh luan edhe ndjenja e brendshme \u2013 empatike \u2013 p\u00ebrball\u00eb f\u00ebmij\u00ebs: a \u00ebsht\u00eb ajo egoiste apo shpreh energji dashurie. Shum\u00eb n\u00ebna vuajn\u00eb nga deficitet narciste, t\u00eb cilat f\u00ebmij\u00ebn e keqp\u00ebrdorin si d\u00ebmshp\u00ebrblim, si supern\u00ebn\u00eb, t\u00eb cil\u00ebs ai p\u00ebrher\u00eb duhet t`i jet\u00eb fal\u00ebnderues. Dashuria e n\u00ebn\u00ebs \u00ebsht\u00eb nj\u00eb parakusht vendimtar p\u00ebr nj\u00eb zhvillimin psiko-social t\u00eb f\u00ebmij\u00ebs. Sidomos tri vitet e para t\u00eb f\u00ebmij\u00ebs jan\u00eb vendimtar p\u00ebr zhvillimin e vetjes s\u00eb m\u00ebvonshme. N\u00eb k\u00ebt\u00eb nd\u00ebrlidhje dashuria \u2013 e v\u00ebrtet\u00eb e n\u00ebn\u00ebs \u2013 \u00ebsht\u00eb t\u00eb lirosh, t\u00eb kujdesesh, q\u00eb ai t\u00eb jet\u00eb mir\u00eb, i aft\u00eb t\u00eb jetoj\u00eb vet\u00ebm me t\u00eb gjitha mund\u00ebsit\u00eb, ve\u00e7orit\u00eb dhe kufizimet. Ata njer\u00ebz q\u00eb kan\u00eb p\u00ebrjetuar padashurin\u00eb, kan\u00eb frik\u00ebn m\u00eb t\u00eb madhe se mund t\u00eb duhen v\u00ebrtet\u00eb prej ndonj\u00eb personi, sepse nj\u00eb gj\u00eb e till\u00eb do t\u00eb \u201cprovokonte\u201d kujtes\u00ebn e dhimbshme, se sa do ta p\u00ebrjetonte si plot\u00ebsim i dashuris\u00eb s\u00eb munguar.<\/p>\n

N\u00eb an\u00ebn tjet\u00ebr, kush nuk ka d\u00ebshir\u00eb t\u00eb jet\u00eb i pavarur dhe i lir\u00eb? Paralel me dashurin\u00eb, liria \u00ebsht\u00eb nj\u00eb prej d\u00ebshirave m\u00eb t\u00eb m\u00ebdha. Kurse, p\u00ebrgjegj\u00ebs p\u00ebr p\u00ebrvoj\u00ebn e liris\u00eb s\u00eb brendshme dhe autonomis\u00eb s\u00eb f\u00ebmij\u00ebs, \u00ebsht\u00eb q\u00ebndrimi parimor i n\u00ebn\u00ebs ndaj tij: t\u00eb b\u00ebhet \u00e7far\u00eb d\u00ebshiron ajo, ka pritje nga f\u00ebmija dhe edukohet: b\u00ebhu si dua un\u00eb t\u00eb t\u00eb kem e si m\u00eb nevojitesh, helmimi i n\u00ebn\u00ebs q\u00eb ka p\u00ebr pasoj\u00eb var\u00ebsin\u00eb e vetjes s\u00eb f\u00ebmij\u00ebs. Kjo gj\u00eb nga n\u00ebnat e tilla nuk \u00ebsht\u00eb n\u00eb fakt fare problem e as nuk e ndjejn si t\u00eb till\u00eb, sepse e ka t\u00eb trash\u00ebguar nd\u00ebr breza t\u00eb nj\u00ebjt\u00ebn bindje. N\u00eb rastet e tilla f\u00ebmija i p\u00ebrshtatet ndjesive dhe nevojave t\u00eb s\u00eb \u00ebm\u00ebs dhe mir\u00ebqenia e tij varet edhe nga gjendja e n\u00ebn\u00ebs. Nd\u00ebrsa mamat\u00eb e tilla nuk kan\u00eb iden\u00eb se \u00e7far\u00eb u b\u00ebjn\u00eb f\u00ebmij\u00ebve. P\u00ebrderisa ky lloj edukimi ndikon n\u00eb largimin nga orientimi i brendsh\u00ebm i f\u00ebmij\u00ebs, n\u00ebnat e tilla nuk e shohin tjet\u00ebrsimin tragjik t\u00eb tij. K\u00ebshtu n\u00eb vend se t\u00eb d\u00ebgjoj\u00eb nevojat e brendshme personale q\u00eb ka f\u00ebmija, ai m\u00ebsohet t\u00eb orientohet nga ndikimet e jashtme. Dhe p\u00ebr t\u00eb fituar njohje, v\u00ebmendje ose t\u00eb pakt\u00ebn t\u00eb mos d\u00ebnohet, ai b\u00ebn jet\u00eb parimisht t\u00eb varur nga jasht\u00eb. M\u00ebson t\u00eb b\u00ebj\u00eb e veproj\u00eb at\u00eb \u00e7ka dikush e pret prej tij dhe e harron vetveten. K\u00ebshtu q\u00eb n\u00eb fillim ngufatet zhvillimi i vetes dhe nuk do ja dal\u00eb t\u00eb m\u00ebsoj\u00eb se kush \u00ebsht\u00eb ai v\u00ebrtet\u00eb. Me bllokimin e p\u00ebrjetimit t\u00eb vetes nuk mund t\u00eb zhvillohet autonomia e me k\u00ebt\u00eb humbet edhe liria e brendshme. K\u00ebshtu vetja e rreme p\u00ebrpiqet t\u00eb gjej\u00eb rrug\u00eb t\u00eb tjera kompensimi t\u00eb munges\u00ebs me para, pushtet, besim, ideologji. K\u00ebshtu q\u00eb liria e brendshme nuk mund t\u00eb vihet n\u00eb nj\u00eb linj\u00eb me lirin\u00eb e jashtme. K\u00ebshtu bie fjala t\u00eb drejtat e njeriut apo t\u00eb qytetarit nuk sigurojn\u00eb edhe lirin\u00eb e brendshme.<\/p>\n

Edhe shqiptar\u00ebt, gjat\u00eb komunizmit, p\u00ebr \u201cmunges\u00ebn e liris\u00eb\u201d tyre mund t\u00eb thuhet se kan\u00eb qen\u00eb p\u00ebr t\u00eb ardhur keq. Liris\u00eb s\u00eb jashtme i \u00ebsht\u00eb dh\u00ebn\u00eb edhe nivel gati ideologjik, duke mendua se me kalim n\u00eb demokracin\u00eb liberale do arrihet liria. Kur ngushtimi psikik zbukurohet me lirin\u00eb e jashtme, at\u00ebher\u00eb kemi nj\u00eb situat\u00eb groteske dhe t\u00eb rrezikshme. Z\u00ebvend\u00ebsimi i munges\u00ebs s\u00eb liris\u00eb s\u00eb brendshme b\u00ebhet viktim\u00eb e var\u00ebsis\u00eb nga kompensimet e jashtme, konsum, mod\u00eb, luks. K\u00ebshtu q\u00eb vetja nuk ka mund\u00ebsi t\u00eb zhvillohet lirsh\u00ebm. Shum\u00eb njer\u00ebz nuk e din\u00eb kush jan\u00eb e \u00e7far\u00eb k\u00ebrkojn\u00eb, sepse kan\u00eb humbur ndjenj\u00ebn me veten. Vetja e varur ka nevoj\u00eb p\u00ebrher\u00eb p\u00ebr \u201cushqim\u201d nga jasht\u00eb, ndryshe mund t\u00eb p\u00ebrfundoj\u00eb n\u00eb paq\u00ebndrueshm\u00ebri. Nga kjo rezulton q\u00eb personat e till\u00eb p\u00ebrher\u00eb p\u00ebrpiqen t\u00eb p\u00ebrshtaten, b\u00ebhet ndjek\u00ebs, b\u00ebjn\u00eb karrier\u00eb si bashk\u00ebfajtor\u00eb, apo edhe p\u00ebsojn\u00eb shmangie duke konsumuar mjete q\u00eb mund t\u00eb jen\u00eb t\u00eb d\u00ebmshme si, interneti, TV, droga.<\/p>\n

Vet\u00ebzhvillimi i nj\u00eb f\u00ebmije varet edhe nga kurioziteti dashamir\u00ebs me personat e par\u00eb me t\u00eb cil\u00ebt ka raporte marr\u00ebdh\u00ebniesh, pra me prind\u00ebrit. Se f\u00ebmija duhet t\u00eb ket\u00eb kufizime kur ka t\u00eb b\u00ebj\u00eb me sigurin\u00eb e tij, nuk ka dyshim. Mir\u00ebpo shpesh nuk \u00ebsht\u00eb leht\u00eb t\u00eb p\u00ebrcaktosh, ndash se \u00e7ka \u00ebsht\u00eb e rrezikshme e \u00e7ka penguese n\u00eb vet\u00ebzhvillimin e f\u00ebmij\u00ebs. Prind\u00ebrit kan\u00eb zakonisht v\u00ebshtir\u00ebsi t\u00eb pranojn\u00eb tipare personaliteti t\u00eb f\u00ebmij\u00ebve t\u00eb tyre q\u00eb jan\u00eb ndryshe nga ato, q\u00eb i njohin dhe i vler\u00ebsojn\u00eb si t\u00eb mira apo t\u00eb k\u00ebqija. Zakonisht prind\u00ebrit thirren n\u00eb normat, rregullat, ligjet q\u00eb i njohin nga p\u00ebrvoja e tyre jet\u00ebsore, q\u00eb n\u00eb fakt nuk mund t`i ket\u00eb edhe f\u00ebmija i tyre. Ata kan\u00eb frik\u00eb nga t\u00eb rejat, t\u00eb panjohurat, t\u00eb huajat. Vet\u00ebzhvillimi pengohet zakonisht nga baballar\u00ebt autoritar\u00eb dhe t\u00eb ashp\u00ebr. Me ashp\u00ebrsin\u00eb e tyre ata zakonisht shpalosin mallin e pashuar q\u00eb kan\u00eb p\u00ebr n\u00ebn\u00ebn, t\u00eb cil\u00ebn pa e ditur, e kan\u00eb bartur te grat\u00eb e tyre. Dhe padyshim deri n\u00eb momentin sa nuk ka lindur f\u00ebmija, ata jan\u00eb trajtuar nga grat\u00eb e tyre si z\u00ebvend\u00ebsim i n\u00ebnave. K\u00ebshtu k\u00ebta burra q\u00eb kan\u00eb mall am\u00ebnor, e kan\u00eb bartur at\u00eb te grat\u00eb e tyre, me lindjen e f\u00ebmij\u00ebs e shohin at\u00eb si konkurrent n\u00eb favorin am\u00ebnor. Kjo situat\u00eb zakonisht \u00ebsht\u00eb e pavet\u00ebdijshme dhe b\u00ebhet pa mund\u00ebsi reflektimi. N\u00eb vend se t\u00eb shihet problemi te vetja, sulmohet f\u00ebmija. Ai frik\u00ebsohet, shahet, n\u00ebn\u00e7mohet me pasoj\u00eb pengimin e vet\u00ebzhvillimit t\u00eb f\u00ebmij\u00ebs, terrorit at\u00ebror me rezultat t\u00eb m\u00ebvonsh\u00ebm frenimin e vetjes s\u00eb f\u00ebmij\u00ebs. Ky frenim shpie n\u00eb pasigurin\u00eb e vetjes s\u00eb f\u00ebmij\u00ebs, t\u00ebrheqje dhe kujdes si dhe n\u00eb rastet ekstreme n\u00eb sjellje t\u00eb ngurta. Jeta m\u00eb nuk jetohet, por vet\u00ebm i shkohet mbrapa asaj \u00e7ka i k\u00ebrkohet dhe jetohet, duke penguar e shtypur jet\u00ebn e vet.<\/p>\n

P\u00ebrderisa vetja e frenuar n\u00eb zhvillimin e f\u00ebmij\u00ebs pengohet n\u00eb m\u00ebnyr\u00eb aktive, vetja e l\u00ebn\u00eb pas nuk p\u00ebrjeton nxitje, p\u00ebrkrahje, inkurajim. N\u00ebp\u00ebrmjet komoditetit dhe p\u00ebrtacis\u00eb shmang aventurat e jet\u00ebs, humb mund\u00ebsin e vet\u00ebzhvillimit. K\u00ebshtu q\u00eb p\u00ebr f\u00ebmij\u00ebn \u00ebsht\u00eb shum\u00eb i r\u00ebnd\u00ebsish\u00ebm roli i at\u00ebror si nj\u00eb kopsht zhvillimi njer\u00ebzor. Nga ky kopsht at\u00ebror, i ati mund t\u00eb ndihmoj\u00eb f\u00ebmij\u00ebn duke nxitur, inkurajuar p\u00ebr t\u00eb provuar e p\u00ebr t\u00eb marr\u00eb p\u00ebrvoja \u2013 sepse n\u00eb aspektin psikik-social jan\u00eb nevoja themelore. Me munges\u00ebn e promotorimit te f\u00ebmija len\u00eb deficite shpirt\u00ebrore. P\u00ebrkrahja e f\u00ebmij\u00ebs nuk duhet ngat\u00ebrruar me k\u00ebrkesa t\u00eb gabueshme q\u00eb shkaktojn\u00eb vet\u00ebm var\u00ebsi. P\u00ebrkrahje do t\u00eb thot\u00eb t\u00eb nxit\u00ebsh talentet dhe aspektet ekzistuese te f\u00ebmija. P\u00ebrderisa k\u00ebrkesat paraqesin mundim dhe prodhojn\u00eb maje suksesesh n\u00eb shpin\u00eb t\u00eb raporteve t\u00eb sh\u00ebndosha. Mallkimi at\u00ebror, me pasoj\u00ebn e m\u00ebvonshme t\u00eb neglizhimit t\u00eb vetes. Andaj nj\u00eb raport stimulues p\u00ebrkrah\u00ebs, jo k\u00ebrkues, at\u00ebror i talenteve dhe potencialeve tjera te f\u00ebmija \u00ebsht\u00eb shum\u00eb i r\u00ebnd\u00ebsish\u00ebm p\u00ebr nj\u00eb sistem shoq\u00ebror.<\/p>\n

K\u00ebshtu vetja e mbingarkuar \u00ebsht\u00eb rezultat tragjik i nj\u00eb personi me arritje e suksese, sepse shpie te nj\u00eb vet\u00ebfryrje ku shpesh \u00ebsht\u00eb tejet i suksessh\u00ebm n\u00eb jet\u00ebn e rreme, por nj\u00ebkoh\u00ebsisht edhe n\u00eb nj\u00eb kriz\u00eb t\u00eb r\u00ebnd\u00eb vet\u00ebvler\u00ebsimi posa t\u00eb shp\u00ebrthej\u00eb flluska e suksesit. Shpesh nuk ka dallim mes zhvillimit t\u00eb talentit, por vet\u00ebm suksesi. K\u00ebtu luan rol humbja ose fitorja. Te k\u00ebta njer\u00ebz tragjedia \u00ebsht\u00eb e dyfisht\u00eb, keqp\u00ebrdorimi i talenteve ekzistuese dhe mosp\u00ebrfillja e raporteve n\u00eb nj\u00ebr\u00ebn an\u00eb dhe, n\u00eb an\u00ebn tjet\u00ebr, iluzionet e sukseseve q\u00eb shpien n\u00eb fitimin e \u00e7mimeve dhe mir\u00ebnjohjeve, por jo n\u00eb paqen shpirt\u00ebrore dhe \u00e7lodhje. Vetja mbetet edhe m\u00eb tutje e vuajtur dhe e p\u00ebrndjekur. Frika e p\u00ebrhershme p\u00ebr mbajtjen e niveli t\u00eb suksesit apo edhe nga frika e pamund\u00ebsis\u00eb s\u00eb rritjes s\u00eb k\u00ebtij niveli. Si pasoj\u00eb kemi munges\u00ebn e vet\u00ebrealizimit dhe vet\u00ebdashuris\u00eb. K\u00ebto t\u00eb fundit fitohen me dashurin\u00eb e hershme, q\u00eb u jepet f\u00ebmij\u00ebve nga prind\u00ebrit. Paraja dhe lavdia nuk e z\u00ebvend\u00ebsojn\u00eb dashurin\u00eb. Kjo q\u00eb tham\u00eb \u00ebsht\u00eb keqp\u00ebrdorimi at\u00ebror, q\u00eb mund t`i b\u00ebhet f\u00ebmij\u00ebs e si pasoj\u00eb ka mbingarkes\u00ebn e vet\u00eb f\u00ebmij\u00ebs.<\/p>\n

Jeta e rreme<\/strong><\/p>\n

Gjith\u00eb k\u00ebto jan\u00eb elemente q\u00eb nd\u00ebrtojn\u00eb mure t\u00eb nj\u00eb jete t\u00eb rreme t\u00eb vetjes s\u00eb rreme. N\u00ebse nevojat themelore t\u00eb vetjes nuk pranohen apo nuk k\u00ebnaqen rregullisht n\u00eb m\u00ebnyr\u00eb adekuate nga ana e prind\u00ebrve, krijohet nj\u00eb presion tensioni, nj\u00eb gjendje mungese vullneti q\u00eb k\u00ebrkon \u00e7lirim. Kur mungon nj\u00eb k\u00ebnaqje e nevojave themelore, at\u00ebher\u00eb k\u00ebrkohet nj\u00eb z\u00ebvend\u00ebsim. Kjo rrug\u00eb e z\u00ebvend\u00ebsuar shfryt\u00ebzon mund\u00ebsit\u00eb ekzistuese reale. N\u00eb f\u00ebmij\u00ebri jan\u00eb d\u00ebshirat vazhdimisht t\u00eb bezdisshme, uria p\u00ebr \u00ebmb\u00eblsira, loj\u00ebrat e pafundme \u2013 n\u00eb kompjuter, interneti i pakufizuar, shpesh shpijn\u00eb n\u00eb var\u00ebsi t\u00eb rrezikshme. Mandej, n\u00eb aspektin e sjelljes, n\u00eb munges\u00eb t\u00eb marr\u00ebdh\u00ebnies s\u00eb d\u00ebshiruar, kalohen n\u00eb t\u00ebrheqje, refuzim, sjellje t\u00eb shthurura n\u00eb arsimin parashkollor, n\u00eb shkoll\u00eb dhe n\u00eb koh\u00ebn e lir\u00eb provokojn\u00eb v\u00ebmendje dhe ushtrohet hakmarrje kund\u00ebr prind\u00ebrve. N\u00eb moshat e m\u00ebvonshme b\u00ebhet marrja e ushqimit si z\u00ebvend\u00ebsim p\u00ebr dashurin\u00eb e munguar, paraja duhet t\u00eb sjell munges\u00ebn e njohjes, pafuqia dhe pap\u00ebrkrahja n\u00eb mosh\u00ebn e pjekur t\u00eb jet\u00ebs s\u00eb rreme neutralizohen me pushtet dhe pozita drejtuese. P\u00ebrher\u00eb b\u00ebhet fjal\u00eb p\u00ebr z\u00ebvend\u00ebsimin e nevojave themelore me gj\u00ebra t\u00eb jashtme, veprime z\u00ebvend\u00ebsimi, meq\u00eb p\u00ebrmbushja e atyre themelore \u00ebsht\u00eb e pamundur. K\u00ebshtu shpesh kalohet n\u00eb var\u00ebsi: ngr\u00ebnje, pirje, pun\u00eb dhe rezultate, seks, p\u00ebrpjekja p\u00ebr njohje b\u00ebhet si lloj droge.<\/p>\n

Mandej shkaktohen mbase edhe var\u00ebsi alkooli, droge, lakmia n\u00eb konsum, suksesi egoist, q\u00eb shpie n\u00eb d\u00ebmtimin armiq\u00ebsor t\u00eb sjelljes sociale, keqp\u00ebrdorim i pushtetit, mosp\u00ebrfillja dhe keqp\u00ebrdorimi i interesave publike. N\u00eb k\u00ebt\u00eb m\u00ebnyr\u00eb, nj\u00eb demokraci q\u00eb ka p\u00ebr baz\u00eb strukturat e pushtetit me njer\u00ebz, t\u00eb cil\u00ebt mb\u00ebshteten n\u00eb k\u00ebto nevoja kompensuese t\u00eb personave si munges\u00eb e dashuris\u00eb dhe marr\u00ebdh\u00ebnieve t\u00eb sh\u00ebndosha n\u00eb f\u00ebmij\u00ebri, ndihmojn\u00eb marrjen e vendimeve t\u00eb rrezikshme me an\u00eb t\u00eb mjeteve demokratike. F\u00ebmij\u00ebs q\u00eb i ka munguar dashuria am\u00ebnore, i mbetet si nj\u00eb ther\u00eb n\u00eb k\u00ebmb\u00eb, si dhembje nxit\u00ebse p\u00ebr t\u00eb arritur rezultate dhe p\u00ebr t\u00eb fituar v\u00ebmendjen. Mungesa e dashuris\u00eb mund t\u00eb jet\u00eb vdekjeprur\u00ebse, si rezultat i p\u00ebrpjekjeve t\u00eb pand\u00ebrprera p\u00ebr ta arritur z\u00ebvend\u00ebsimin e dashuris\u00eb s\u00eb munguar me karrier\u00eb, pushtet. K\u00ebshtu q\u00eb p\u00ebrpjekjet p\u00ebr arritje jan\u00eb t\u00eb sh\u00ebndosha p\u00ebrderisa nuk tejkalojn\u00eb kufijt\u00eb e mund\u00ebsive p\u00ebr t`u shpalosur. Nj\u00eb vetje e rreme tejkalon shkall\u00ebn normale, duke k\u00ebrkuar kompensimin p\u00ebr dashurin\u00eb e amnore t\u00eb munguar e q\u00eb mund t\u00eb nxis\u00eb pasoja t\u00eb ndryshme sh\u00ebndet\u00ebsor fizike e kriza psikike.<\/p>\n

Ndikimet tjera t\u00eb jet\u00ebs s\u00eb rreme<\/strong><\/p>\n

T\u00eb kesh nj\u00eb lidhje me familje, vendlindjen, komb \u00ebsht\u00eb normale dhe si qenie sociale q\u00eb \u00ebsht\u00eb njeriu, ka nevoj\u00eb t\u00eb jetoj\u00eb n\u00eb lidhje sociale, t`i takoj\u00eb nj\u00eb trupi social. Personat me vetjen e k\u00ebrc\u00ebnuar, n\u00eb proceset e hapjes ndaj t\u00eb panjohurave, reagojn\u00eb n\u00eb vet\u00ebmbrojte duke q\u00ebndruar n\u00eb distanc\u00eb dhe p\u00ebrher\u00eb i gatsh\u00ebm p\u00ebr \u201cluft\u00eb\u201d. Vetja e torturuar i ik\u00ebn dinamik\u00ebs s\u00eb p\u00ebrshtatjes duke u t\u00ebrhequr, me refuzim. N\u00eb an\u00ebn tjet\u00ebr vetja e varur \u00ebsht\u00eb kampione e p\u00ebrshtatjes si strategji e mbijetes\u00ebs. K\u00ebtu kujtohen p\u00ebrshtatjet n\u00eb koh\u00ebn e f\u00ebmij\u00ebris\u00eb, q\u00eb i b\u00ebhen pritjeve t\u00eb n\u00ebn\u00ebs, edhe si i rritur ngrit\u00ebn n\u00eb form\u00eb karakteri dhe gjat\u00eb gjith\u00eb jet\u00ebs kan\u00eb nevoj\u00eb p\u00ebr udh\u00ebzime, udh\u00ebheqje, k\u00ebshillime, sepse nuk arrihet asnj\u00ebher\u00eb t\u00eb mund t\u00eb gjejn\u00eb at\u00eb t\u00eb veten. K\u00ebshtu nga k\u00ebta njer\u00ebz p\u00ebrfitojn\u00eb, reklamat, religjionet, udh\u00ebheqjet politike. Reduktimi i aft\u00ebsis\u00eb s\u00eb p\u00ebrshtatjes n\u00eb var\u00ebsi, u ofron komuniteteve ndjek\u00ebs t\u00eb mjaftuesh\u00ebm q\u00eb u tregohet se \u00e7far\u00eb \u00ebsht\u00eb mir\u00eb e \u00e7far\u00eb \u00ebsht\u00eb keq, se \u00e7far\u00eb duhet b\u00ebr\u00eb e \u00e7far\u00eb jo.<\/p>\n

Personat me vetje t\u00eb rreme b\u00ebjn\u00eb nj\u00eb jet\u00eb p\u00ebr t\u00eb tjer\u00ebt. N\u00eb raste tilla, jeta e v\u00ebrtet\u00eb nuk \u00ebsht\u00eb e vdekur \u2013 vet\u00ebm se \u00ebsht\u00eb e shtypur, e mbuluar. Her\u00eb pas here ia del t\u00eb dal\u00eb n\u00eb sip\u00ebrfaqe. Kjo shpesh b\u00ebhet me ndihm\u00ebn e terapive psikologjike p\u00ebr t`i kuptuar sinjalet autentike t\u00eb jet\u00ebs, por edhe p\u00ebr ta gjetur t\u00eb v\u00ebrtet\u00ebn shpirt\u00ebrore. Jeta e rreme njoftohet edhe n\u00eb forma t\u00eb tjera pa qen\u00eb detyrimisht i s\u00ebmur\u00eb; me an\u00eb t\u00eb pak\u00ebnaq\u00ebsive, tensioneve t\u00eb brendshme, nervoziz\u00ebm, ankesave t\u00eb shum\u00ebfishta, konflikte psiko-sociale t\u00eb fyerjeve (prekjeve), l\u00ebndimeve, nervoziz\u00ebm, d\u00ebshp\u00ebrimit, me akuza dhe disponim p\u00ebr grindje. Mandej \u00e7\u00ebshtja torturuese e kuptimit, ndjenja se di\u00e7ka po humbet (po humbin mund\u00ebsit\u00eb). K\u00ebta njer\u00ebz kan\u00eb turp t\u00eb madh nga qet\u00ebsia, jan\u00eb jo t\u00eb qet\u00eb, inatosur, me plot akuza. Kan\u00eb frik\u00eb t\u00eb komunikojn\u00eb me jet\u00ebn e v\u00ebrtet\u00eb, andaj p\u00ebrher\u00eb k\u00ebrkojn\u00eb zhvendosje v\u00ebmendjeje p\u00ebr nevojat themelore t\u00eb dhimbshme, dhe kan\u00eb d\u00ebshir\u00eb t\u00eb zjarrt\u00eb p\u00ebr nj\u00eb jet\u00eb tjet\u00ebrfare; k\u00ebshtu kalohet n\u00eb aventura me partner\/e t\u00eb ri\/re, aventura seksuale, nd\u00ebrrohen vendet e pun\u00ebs, banimet. Shpesh n\u00eb situata t\u00eb tilla merren rrug\u00eb alternative, duke u futur n\u00eb kaheje ideologjike dhe fetare si z\u00ebvend\u00ebsim p\u00ebr zbraz\u00ebtir\u00ebn e brendshme, ruhet nga detyrimet p\u00ebr t\u00eb b\u00ebr\u00eb p\u00ebrher\u00eb di\u00e7ka. Nj\u00eb nga elementet moderne t\u00eb largimit t\u00eb v\u00ebmendjes nga dhembjet e brendshme b\u00ebhet me konsumimin e mediave, si interneti, rrjetet sociale si mund\u00ebsi p\u00ebr t\u00eb qet\u00ebsuar agresivitetin e akumuluar apo p\u00ebr ta shprehur at\u00eb me akuza e ofendime.<\/p>\n

Vetja e rreme \u2013 q\u00eb del si rezultat i marr\u00ebdh\u00ebnieve q\u00eb kan\u00eb prind\u00ebrit me f\u00ebmij\u00ebt e tyre deri n\u00eb mosh\u00ebn trevje\u00e7are \u2013 sikur detyron p\u00ebr nj\u00eb sjellje q\u00eb p\u00ebrdor\u00eb falsifikimin dhe mbrohet nga t\u00eb kuptuarit t\u00eb s\u00eb v\u00ebrtet\u00ebs dhe t\u00eb v\u00ebrtet\u00ebs. Vetja e rreme ka nevoj\u00eb p\u00ebr armiq q\u00eb i ndihmojn\u00eb p\u00ebr ta shpjeguar sikletin e jet\u00ebs personale dhe p\u00ebr t`u mbrojtur n\u00eb rregullimin e jet\u00ebs s\u00eb rreme.<\/p>\n

Njeriu q\u00eb jeton nj\u00eb jet\u00eb t\u00eb rreme, si produkt i vetes s\u00eb rreme, ndodhet n\u00eb nj\u00eb luft\u00eb t\u00eb brendshme shpirt\u00ebrore t\u00eb p\u00ebrhershme mes nevojave q\u00eb duhet t\u00eb shuhen dhe tendencave zhvillimore ekzistuese q\u00eb k\u00ebrkojn\u00eb t\u00eb zhvillohen, n\u00eb nj\u00ebr\u00ebn an\u00eb, dhe ndikimeve negative nga marr\u00ebdh\u00ebniet e d\u00ebmtuara nga f\u00ebmij\u00ebria, n\u00eb an\u00ebn tjet\u00ebr. Dhe kjo shpesh b\u00ebhet shkaktare e s\u00ebmundjeve t\u00eb ndryshme. Nj\u00eb zhvillim i sh\u00ebndosh\u00eb i vetjes mund\u00ebsohet me vet\u00ebnjohjen reflektuese. Nj\u00eb vetje e v\u00ebrtet\u00eb k\u00ebrkon pasqyrim, v\u00ebrtetim, pranim dhe kritik\u00eb n\u00eb kuad\u00ebr t\u00eb nj\u00eb kulture marr\u00ebdh\u00ebniesh empatike, liruese, dashamir\u00ebse.<\/p>\n

Frika e hershme e p\u00ebrjetuar formon nj\u00eb ndjenj\u00eb parimore k\u00ebrc\u00ebnuese, e cila mund t\u00eb aktivizohet edhe n\u00eb mosh\u00eb t\u00eb madhe, edhe at\u00ebher\u00eb kur nuk ka ndonj\u00eb rrezik t\u00eb drejtp\u00ebrdrejt\u00eb. Shpesh nj\u00eb kritik\u00eb e vog\u00ebl shikohet si nj\u00eb perceptim rrezikues q\u00eb menj\u00ebher\u00eb k\u00ebrkon aktivizimin preventiv sa njeriu b\u00ebn nj\u00eb jet\u00eb me mjaft konflikte. Nj\u00eb jet\u00eb e b\u00ebr\u00eb n\u00eb raporte n\u00eb distanc\u00eb \u2013 ri reagim p\u00ebr t`i mbrojtur nga l\u00ebndimet e mundshme. Shpesh si rezultat e k\u00ebsaj, marr\u00ebdh\u00ebniet me njer\u00ebzit jan\u00eb tejet t\u00eb ngarkuara dhe asnj\u00eb pun\u00eb nuk e plot\u00ebson kuptimin e jet\u00ebs; pra jeta b\u00ebhet nj\u00eb fush\u00ebbetej\u00eb dhe nuk ka aft\u00ebsi p\u00ebr t\u00eb mbajtur marr\u00ebveshjet, t\u00eb jet\u00eb i besuesh\u00ebm. Nga ngarkesa shpirt\u00ebrore ngrit\u00ebt urrejtja si p\u00ebrgjigje e brendshme, e cila shp\u00ebrthen n\u00eb dy drejtime. Me veprime shkat\u00ebrruese n\u00eb drejtim t\u00eb brendsh\u00ebm ose t\u00eb jasht\u00ebm me q\u00ebndrime armiq\u00ebsore dhe duke p\u00ebrdorur dhun\u00ebn. K\u00ebshtu k\u00ebrkohen armiq, figura armiq\u00ebsore, ideologjie, grupe radikale, predikues urrejt\u00ebs, figura drejtuese demagogjike. Aktet e dhun\u00ebs leht\u00ebsohen me p\u00ebrkrahjen e dinamik\u00ebs n\u00eb grup dhe mbase merr edhe l\u00ebvdata p\u00ebr vepr\u00ebn, k\u00ebshtu q\u00eb kalohet nga vetja e k\u00ebrc\u00ebnuar n\u00eb k\u00ebrc\u00ebnues.<\/p>\n

Liria dhe dashuria jan\u00eb d\u00ebshirimet m\u00eb t\u00eb m\u00ebdha t\u00eb njeriut, por nj\u00ebkoh\u00ebsisht edhe iluzionet m\u00eb t\u00eb m\u00ebdha, fatkeq\u00ebsisht. Helmimet e n\u00ebn\u00ebs ndikojn\u00eb n\u00eb var\u00ebsin\u00eb e vetes ose me k\u00ebrc\u00ebnimin me refuzim, n\u00ebn\u00e7mime, e d\u00ebnim apo edhe \u201cvet\u00ebm\u201d me heqje apo nd\u00ebrprerje t\u00eb dashuris\u00eb. Ndjenja e brendshme e fituar n\u00eb f\u00ebmij\u00ebri nga helmimet am\u00ebnore \u201cn\u00ebse nuk i plot\u00ebsoj d\u00ebshirat e k\u00ebrkesat e n\u00ebn\u00ebs, at\u00ebher\u00eb do mbetem n\u00eb vetmi\u201d, mund t\u00eb ken\u00eb pasoja k\u00ebrc\u00ebnuese p\u00ebr jet\u00ebn. Me koh\u00eb k\u00ebta f\u00ebmij\u00eb nuk din\u00eb kush jan\u00eb e \u00e7far\u00eb duan nga jeta, mbeten n\u00eb var\u00ebsin\u00eb e njohjeve t\u00eb jashtme, lavd\u00ebrimeve e kritikave. Nd\u00ebrsa shpesh kritika dhe akuzat injorohen, me r\u00ebnd\u00ebsi \u00ebsht\u00eb q\u00eb njeriu ka ndjenj\u00ebn se n\u00eb nj\u00eb m\u00ebnyr\u00eb \u00ebsht\u00eb i r\u00ebnd\u00ebsish\u00ebm. K\u00ebshtu ndodh q\u00eb njer\u00ebzit e varur orientohen n\u00eb at\u00eb \u00e7far\u00eb b\u00ebn masa dhe orientohet sipas asaj, pra \u00e7far\u00eb b\u00ebn\u00eb shumica b\u00ebhet elementi kryesor p\u00ebr orientim. K\u00ebshtu q\u00eb k\u00ebt\u00eb e p\u00ebrdorin propagandat politike, fetare.<\/p>\n

Vetja e frenuar \u00ebsht\u00eb p\u00ebrher\u00eb n\u00eb frenim, k\u00ebshtu q\u00eb nuk guxon t\u00eb jetohet jeta jote. N\u00eb jet\u00eb nuk provohet, nuk rrezikohet, u iket vetiniciativave, u largohet aventurave, mungojn\u00eb eksperimentimet \u2013 gjith\u00e7ka e re \u00ebsht\u00eb e mbuluar me plot frik\u00eb. K\u00ebto hezitime vijn\u00eb si rezultat i edukimeve autoritare, k\u00ebshtu q\u00eb duhet t\u00eb veprohet \u00e7far\u00eb i thuhet. N\u00eb nj\u00eb m\u00ebnyr\u00eb kjo duket se siguron q\u00ebndrueshm\u00ebri jet\u00ebsore, mir\u00ebpo n\u00eb an\u00ebn tjet\u00ebr pengon zhvillimin e jet\u00ebs personale. Nj\u00eb pedagogji e zez\u00eb, q\u00eb detyron d\u00ebgjes\u00eb dhe disiplina, e nj\u00ebkoh\u00ebsisht, edhe t\u00ebrbim e urrejtje si dhe d\u00ebshir\u00eb p\u00ebr hakmarrje. Agresiviteti i grumbulluar nga druajtja dhe frik\u00ebsimi jan\u00eb mandej reagimi kund\u00ebr \u201cfajtor\u00ebve\u201d t\u00eb jasht\u00ebm. Njer\u00ebzit me vete t\u00eb frenuar mbajn\u00eb n\u00eb vetvete nj\u00eb sasi t\u00eb madhe urrejtjeje q\u00eb shpesh vet\u00eb e mohojn\u00eb sipas th\u00ebnies \u201cujku n\u00eb l\u00ebkur\u00ebn e qengjit\u201d. N\u00eb fakt vetja e frenuar vjen si rezultat i edukat\u00ebs at\u00ebrore t\u00eb ashp\u00ebr dhe frik\u00ebsuese. Ashtu edhe normat sociale e t\u00eb menduar p\u00ebr arritje e suksese, q\u00eb demonstrojn\u00eb pushtet dhe pasuri, provokojn\u00eb hezitim n\u00ebse nuk arrihen q\u00ebllimet e k\u00ebrkuara.<\/p>\n

Nj\u00eb person me vete t\u00eb neglizhuar \u00ebsht\u00eb si nj\u00eb bim\u00eb pa kujdes, q\u00eb zhvillohet eg\u00ebrsisht pa q\u00ebllim e rend. N\u00eb nj\u00ebr\u00ebn an\u00eb, nj\u00eb vetje e neglizhuar demonstrohet si dob\u00ebsi, pafuqi me nj\u00eb karakter apeli t\u00eb fuqish\u00ebm. Andaj nj\u00eb vetje e neglizhuar mund t\u00eb dob\u00ebsohet dhe pengohet aq shum\u00eb sa nuk mund t\u00eb shkoj\u00eb p\u00ebrpara pa ndihm\u00eb dhe ndihmues. N\u00eb an\u00ebn tjet\u00ebr, vetja e neglizhuar mund t\u00eb paraqitet n\u00eb sken\u00eb me nj\u00eb pamje tjet\u00ebr, n\u00ebse nj\u00eb f\u00ebmij\u00eb nuk p\u00ebrkrahet nga prind\u00ebrit n\u00eb m\u00ebnyr\u00eb adekuate, ai k\u00ebrkon, posa t`i mund\u00ebsohet, ndihmues, bart\u00ebs idesh dhe p\u00ebrkrah\u00ebs q\u00eb p\u00ebr q\u00ebllime personale, instrumentalizojn\u00eb duke rekrutuar njer\u00ebz pa orientime dhe nevojtar\u00eb, sa q\u00eb mb\u00ebshtet\u00ebsit shkojn\u00eb deri n\u00eb shkall\u00ebt m\u00eb t\u00eb larta t\u00eb fanatizmit politik, fetar apo sektar. Kjo b\u00ebhet e mundshme, sepse vetja e venitur papritmas has\u00eb n\u00eb interesim dhe fiton v\u00ebmendje. N\u00eb fakt, b\u00ebhet nj\u00eb vet\u00ebmashtrim, sepse nuk b\u00ebhet nj\u00eb zhvillim i potencialit vetjak, porse kalohet te nj\u00eb z\u00ebvend\u00ebsim i vetes n\u00eb interes t\u00eb mbrotjes apo n\u00eb interes t\u00eb abuzuesit. Dob\u00ebsia n\u00eb vetjen e neglizhuar mbetet edhe m\u00eb tutje, vet\u00ebm se shtypet duke u mashtruar me shanset e avancimit n\u00eb karrier\u00eb apo duke u b\u00ebr\u00eb pjes\u00eb e nj\u00eb grupi, duke e ndjer\u00eb vet\u00ebn pjes\u00eb t\u00eb nj\u00eb grupi t\u00eb caktuar. N\u00eb rrethana t\u00eb tilla edhe budallai m\u00eb i dob\u00ebt mund t\u00eb b\u00ebhet drejtues apo hero n\u00eb nj\u00eb shoq\u00ebri q\u00eb n\u00eb nj\u00eb m\u00ebnyr\u00eb kultivon vetjen e rreme. Vet\u00ebm nj\u00eb vetje e pazhvilluar ndjehet mir\u00eb n\u00eb pranimin e urdhrave dhe b\u00ebhet i d\u00ebgjuesh\u00ebm me paskrupulla morale -sepse morali n\u00eb nj\u00eb vetje t\u00eb till\u00eb as nuk ka mundur t\u00eb l\u00ebshoj\u00eb rr\u00ebnj\u00eb \u2013 dhe \u00ebsht\u00eb i gatsh\u00ebm t\u00eb b\u00ebj\u00eb edhe vepra kriminale. Duke u b\u00ebr\u00eb pjes\u00eb e nj\u00eb grupi \u2013 edhe at\u00ebher\u00eb kur ky grup \u00ebsht\u00eb nj\u00ebkoh\u00ebsisht grup krimi \u2013 vetjes s\u00eb neglizhuar i jepen krah\u00eb. At\u00eb \u00e7far\u00eb individi i till\u00eb nuk e posedon n\u00eb veten e tij, z\u00ebvend\u00ebsohet me energjin\u00eb sociale t\u00eb grupit. Nj\u00eb vetje e till\u00eb l\u00ebngon nga dob\u00ebsit\u00eb, pasiviteti, pafuqia, hutia, mungesa e orientimit dhe s\u00ebmuret nga pasojat psikosociale t\u00eb komoditetit, koprracis\u00eb, se i mungojn\u00eb ndjesit\u00eb p\u00ebr sakt\u00ebsi si dhe p\u00ebrgjegj\u00ebsit\u00eb e detyrave.<\/p>\n

Si mundem t\u00eb kuptoj se b\u00ebhet fjal\u00eb p\u00ebr veten time t\u00eb rrejshme?<\/strong><\/p>\n

Ka disa mund\u00ebsi. N\u00ebse shpesh ndjehesh i k\u00ebrc\u00ebnuar, edhe n\u00eb raste krejt t\u00eb vogla, kur ndjehen k\u00ebrc\u00ebnimet e jashtme si ikja e partnerit, kriza financiare etj., shp\u00ebrthejn\u00eb reagimet e ashpra. Kur ofendohesh shpejt dhe leht\u00eb, gj\u00eb q\u00eb v\u00ebrehet sidomos te njer\u00ebzit q\u00eb kan\u00eb problem me narcizmin, ndjehen detyrimisht t\u00eb shtyr\u00eb t\u00eb qet\u00ebsojn\u00eb pasigurin\u00eb dhe inferioritetin e tyre t\u00eb thell\u00eb. Njer\u00ebzit e till\u00eb sukseset e tyre t\u00eb mrekullueshme, q\u00eb mund t`i arrijn\u00eb nuk din\u00eb t`i shijojn\u00eb, ose vet\u00ebm n\u00eb m\u00ebnyr\u00eb t\u00eb kufizuar, nd\u00ebrsa nga kritikat edhe m\u00eb t\u00eb vogla l\u00ebndohen dhe ofendohen. Nj\u00eb refuzim peshon m\u00eb shum\u00eb se nj\u00ebqind p\u00eblqime, nuk e p\u00ebrballojn\u00eb ironin\u00eb dhe p\u00ebrher\u00eb e vendosin veten n\u00eb qend\u00ebr t\u00eb v\u00ebmendjes. N\u00ebse nj\u00eb njeri e ka v\u00ebshtir\u00eb t\u00eb jet\u00eb vet\u00ebm dhe nuk ka guxim t\u00eb veproj\u00eb e t\u00eb vendos\u00eb i pavarur, por pengohet, n\u00ebse ai me at\u00eb \u00e7far\u00eb b\u00ebn, a do i k\u00ebnaq\u00eb t\u00eb tjer\u00ebt \u2013 n\u00eb f\u00ebmij\u00ebri prind\u00ebrit, m\u00eb von\u00eb m\u00ebsuesin, gruan a burrin, shok\u00ebt? K\u00ebshtu k\u00ebta njer\u00ebz nuk din\u00eb \u00e7far\u00eb v\u00ebrtet\u00eb munden e \u00e7far\u00eb v\u00ebrtet\u00eb d\u00ebshirojn\u00eb. N\u00eb \u00e7do vendim jete p\u00ebrjeton nj\u00eb kriz\u00eb kur nuk e ka ask\u00ebnd af\u00ebr t`i tregoj\u00eb se \u00e7far\u00eb \u00ebsht\u00eb mir\u00eb e \u00e7far\u00eb \u00ebsht\u00eb keq, sepse jan\u00eb m\u00ebsuar p\u00ebrher\u00eb t\u00eb drejtohen nga dikush tjet\u00ebr. Mandej kur njeriu nuk ka guxim t\u00eb realizoj\u00eb mund\u00ebsit\u00eb e veta, nuk rrezikon e as nuk provon asgj\u00eb, nuk ka inkurajim p\u00ebr rrug\u00eb t\u00eb reja.<\/p>\n

Njeriu i frenuar m\u00ebton kujdesin dhe t\u00eb p\u00ebrmbahet, ka m\u00ebdyshje, \u00ebsht\u00eb nj\u00eb frikacak. \u00c7do ndryshim n\u00eb jet\u00eb p\u00ebrjetohet si rrezik, frika shkaktohet me humbja e strukturave n\u00eb t\u00eb cilat \u00ebsht\u00eb m\u00ebsuar. Kur njeriu nuk d\u00ebshiron t\u00eb marr\u00eb p\u00ebrgjegj\u00ebsi, refuzon detyrimin, nuk \u00ebsht\u00eb i p\u00ebrpikt\u00eb. Mossuksesi i b\u00ebhet kultur\u00eb jete dhe k\u00ebrc\u00ebnon prind\u00ebrit ose shfryt\u00ebzohet shteti social. At\u00ebher\u00eb njeriu kurr\u00eb nuk \u00ebsht\u00eb i k\u00ebnaqur, sepse nuk ngopet dot, kur nj\u00eb sukses p\u00ebrfundon e th\u00ebrret at\u00eb menj\u00ebher\u00eb shtytja e brendshme e detyrueshme p\u00ebr suksesin tjet\u00ebr. Nj\u00eb ambicie e ekzagjeruar q\u00eb t\u00eb b\u00ebn t\u00eb s\u00ebmur\u00eb dhe prodhon stresin e p\u00ebrhersh\u00ebm. Me k\u00ebrkesat dhe pritjet q\u00eb e mundojn\u00eb pa nd\u00ebrprer\u00eb njeriun, nga frika se dikush pret di\u00e7ka nga ai dhe se nuk ka se si t`i ik\u00eb k\u00ebsaj k\u00ebrkese. Jeta e rreme b\u00ebhet edhe at\u00ebher\u00eb kur mendohet se njeriu mendon se duhet patjet\u00ebr t\u00eb jet\u00eb p\u00ebrher\u00eb perfekt dhe i suksessh\u00ebm, at\u00ebher\u00eb kur nuk tregon dob\u00ebsi dhe kufizime si dhe n\u00eb \u00e7do m\u00ebnyr\u00eb k\u00ebrkon t\u00eb m\u00ebnjanoj\u00eb gabimet dhe frik\u00ebn. Dhe n\u00ebse p\u00ebr t\u00eb jashtmen dhe para e karrier\u00eb i shp\u00ebrfill f\u00ebmij\u00ebt, at\u00ebher\u00eb jet\u00ebn e rreme e barti m\u00eb tutje te f\u00ebmij\u00ebt.<\/p>\n

Si n\u00eb rastet e diktaturave, po ashtu edhe n\u00eb sistemet demokratike, mund t\u00eb vuajn\u00eb nga ata q\u00eb b\u00ebjn\u00eb jet\u00ebn e rreme e jan\u00eb n\u00eb pozita udh\u00ebheq\u00ebse. Elita narciste politike drejtuese \u00ebsht\u00eb nj\u00eb rrezik i madh p\u00ebr zhvillimet shoq\u00ebrore, n\u00ebse n\u00eb pjes\u00ebn d\u00ebrmuese ndjekin q\u00ebllime e vlera p\u00ebr t\u00eb mbuluar vetjen e tyre t\u00eb rreme.<\/p>\n

Aty ku ekzistojn\u00eb raportet e mira nd\u00ebrnjer\u00ebzore, tkurret fuqia e parave. Si mund t\u00eb arrihet t\u00eb kuptohet kjo? Duke e kuptuar vetveten dhe burimin e sjelljeve tona. Gjith\u00e7ka e thekuar dhe demonstruar nga jasht\u00eb \u2013 parat\u00eb, prona, pushteti, lavdia \u2013 jan\u00eb t\u00eb p\u00ebrshtatshme p\u00ebr t\u00eb p\u00ebrfunduar n\u00eb nj\u00eb jet\u00eb t\u00eb rreme, p\u00ebrderisa gjith\u00e7ka q\u00eb orientohet me perceptimin e brendsh\u00ebm, rezonanc\u00ebn, autenticitetin, ofrojn\u00eb mund\u00ebsit\u00eb p\u00ebr momente t\u00eb vetvetes s\u00eb v\u00ebrtet\u00eb, q\u00eb lejjn\u00eb t\u00eb kuptohen rrethanat e zhvillimit, l\u00ebndimet, k\u00ebrc\u00ebnimet, ofendimet dhe frik\u00ebsimet emocionale, t\u00eb p\u00ebrpunohen emocionalisht e kjo do t\u00eb thot\u00eb q\u00eb zem\u00ebrimin dhe urrejtjen, dhembjen shpirt\u00ebrore dhe m\u00ebrzin\u00eb t\u2019i shprehim duke u shoq\u00ebruar dhe mbrojtur.<\/p>\n

Kushdo q\u00eb nuk mund ose nuk do e shpreh\u00eb urrejtjen e vet legjitime, p\u00ebr at\u00eb \u00e7do shans p\u00ebr dhun\u00eb \u00ebsht\u00eb i mir\u00ebseardhur. Ai q\u00eb nuk ja lejon vetes vuajtjen shpirt\u00ebrore, do mbetet p\u00ebrher\u00eb me munges\u00eb t\u00eb k\u00ebsaj nevoje e k\u00ebshtu edhe viktim\u00eb potenciale e mir\u00ebseardhur p\u00ebr premtime- karrieriste dhe konsumet n\u00eb vete. Kush nuk ka m\u00ebsuar t\u00eb mbaj\u00eb zi mbetet i pa haresh\u00ebm dhe k\u00ebshtu kujdeset vet\u00eb p\u00ebr fatkeq\u00ebsi.<\/p>\n

Reflektimi i vetjes s\u00eb rreme n\u00eb jet\u00ebn politike<\/strong><\/p>\n

Ka koh\u00eb q\u00eb m\u00eb ka munduar pyetja, si ka qen\u00eb e mundur q\u00eb diktatura n\u00eb Shqip\u00ebri p\u00ebr dekada e ngufati jet\u00ebn e shqiptarit? Si ishte e mundur t\u00eb ishte gjith\u00eb ajo simpati e madhe dhe e gjith\u00eb ajo dhun\u00eb e papar\u00eb, nd\u00ebrsa masa ose heshti ose ndihmoi n\u00eb m\u00ebnyr\u00eb aktive? Aty dominonte konformizmi si prirje p\u00ebr t\u2019iu p\u00ebrshtatur sa p\u00ebr sy e faqe q\u00ebllimeve, synimeve e interesave t\u00eb m\u00eb t\u00eb fort\u00ebve a t\u00eb shumic\u00ebs! M\u00ebsohej n\u00eb shkolla se si n\u00eb m\u00ebnyr\u00eb kolektive kishim luftuar n\u00eb luft\u00ebn antifashiste, se si tani me socializmin jemi njer\u00ebz m\u00eb t\u00eb mir\u00eb dhe se si duhet t\u00eb luftohej elementi reaksionar imperialist e revanshizmi, se si k\u00ebta kan\u00eb p\u00ebrndjekur fashist\u00ebt italian\u00eb e gjerman\u00eb. Megjith\u00ebse e kaluara e k\u00ebtij populli nuk ishte kuptuar fare nga regjimi antihuman, i instaluar n\u00eb em\u00ebr t\u00eb njeriut- sepse p\u00ebrditshm\u00ebria e njeriut dhe sistemit t\u00eb ri nuk ishte fare m\u00eb e mir\u00eb, m\u00eb paq\u00ebsore dhe e drejt\u00eb se ajo fashiste. Tani e drejta, pushteti, privilegjet, por edhe p\u00ebrndjekja e atyre q\u00eb mendonin ndryshe ishte rindar\u00eb ndryshe, n\u00eb duart e strukturave t\u00eb reja. E kishte kapluar psikologjia e manipulimit leninist e stalinist si mjet p\u00ebr ta mbajtur pushtetin madje duke shpikur p\u00ebrher\u00eb armiq t\u00eb jasht\u00ebm. Kishin ardhur n\u00eb pushtet njer\u00ebzit me shthurje psiko-sociale, e cila nuk hetohej.<\/p>\n

Sot, kam kuptuar se me njer\u00ebzit n\u00ebp\u00ebrmjet normave edukative, represionit ideologjik politik, mund t\u00eb ngrihet nj\u00eb s\u00ebmundje kolektive e cila askush m\u00eb nuk do e perceptoj\u00eb si t\u00eb till\u00eb \u2013 e edhe m\u00eb pak ta kuptoj at\u00eb. E ata q\u00eb jan\u00eb p\u00ebrpjekur t\u00eb thon\u00eb di\u00e7ka tjet\u00ebr, jan\u00eb p\u00ebrndjekur e l\u00eb\u00e7itur, shar\u00eb e k\u00ebshtu \u00ebsht\u00eb realizuar p\u00ebrshtatja, konformizmi dhe formimi i d\u00ebshir\u00ebs p\u00ebr tu b\u00ebr\u00eb pjes\u00eb p\u00ebr mos t\u00eb mbetur jasht\u00eb. K\u00ebshtu n\u00eb nj\u00eb shoq\u00ebri krijohet nj\u00eb shumic\u00eb me vetje t\u00eb rreme, q\u00eb verbohet ideologjikisht e q\u00eb p\u00ebrshkohet nga nj\u00eb var\u00ebsi ekonomike. Nga nj\u00eb klim\u00eb e till\u00eb, duke pasur parasysh edhe nevoj\u00ebn substanciale t\u00eb njeriut p\u00ebr t\u00eb qen\u00eb pjes\u00eb e nj\u00eb bashk\u00ebsie sociale, ndjek\u00ebsve dhe bashk\u00ebpun\u00ebtor\u00ebve q\u00eb jan\u00eb n\u00eb shumic\u00eb, u mungon edhe ndjenja e vet\u00ebdijes s\u00eb faj\u00ebsis\u00eb. Kjo p\u00ebrshtatje n\u00eb mendimet e shumic\u00ebs dhe pozicioneve t\u00eb tyre reflekton se nuk b\u00ebhet fjal\u00eb se ato jan\u00eb t\u00eb v\u00ebrteta, porse p\u00ebr m\u00eb tep\u00ebr se jeta e rreme n\u00eb k\u00ebt\u00eb m\u00ebnyr\u00eb fshihet dhe mohohet m\u00eb s\u00eb miri, sipas parimit: at\u00eb \u00e7far\u00eb masa e mendon me siguri se nuk mund t\u00eb jet\u00eb gabim!<\/p>\n

Sot nj\u00eb protest\u00eb sa m\u00eb e dukshme dhe e theksuar t\u00eb jet\u00eb, aq m\u00eb e nevojshme dhe m\u00eb e theksuar duhet t\u00eb jet\u00eb analiza kritike edhe p\u00ebr shkaqet e gjenez\u00ebs s\u00eb saj. Politikan\u00ebt q\u00eb shajn\u00eb protestuesit n\u00eb vend q\u00eb ata t\u00eb p\u00ebrpiqen p\u00ebr t`i kuptuar, l\u00ebndojn\u00eb detyr\u00ebn politike q\u00eb kan\u00eb, nd\u00ebrsa sharja dhe ofendimi jan\u00eb nj\u00eb shenj\u00eb e jet\u00ebs s\u00eb rreme, sepse ndjehen t\u00eb k\u00ebrc\u00ebnuar nga kritika. Dhe ato forca e persona politik\u00eb q\u00eb e mbajn\u00eb vet\u00ebn pa alternativ\u00eb n\u00eb jet\u00ebn politike, jan\u00eb varros\u00ebs t\u00eb demokracis\u00eb.<\/p>\n

K\u00ebshtu q\u00eb vetja e k\u00ebrc\u00ebnuar p\u00ebrpiqet p\u00ebrher\u00eb t\u00eb gjej\u00eb armiq t\u00eb jasht\u00ebm p\u00ebr ta sulmuar me urrejtjen e tij, nga t\u00eb qenit i k\u00ebrc\u00ebnuar kalon n\u00eb k\u00ebrc\u00ebnues, nj\u00eb vete e neglizhuar, e padashuri d\u00ebshiron t\u00eb tregoj\u00eb se atij i kan\u00eb ndodhur padrejt\u00ebsi, me gjith\u00eb demonstrimin e dob\u00ebsis\u00eb, p\u00ebrpiqet t`u kushtoj\u00eb v\u00ebmendje t\u00eb tjer\u00ebve. Nj\u00eb person pa dashuri ndaj vetes \u2013 mungesa e n\u00ebn\u00ebs \u2013 n\u00eb nj\u00eb shoq\u00ebri ku kultura e p\u00ebrshtatjes s\u00eb mas\u00ebs b\u00ebhet si norm\u00eb, e b\u00ebn t\u00eb suksessh\u00ebm ose si rast social n\u00eb nj\u00eb shtet social, nd\u00ebrsa vetja e varur \u2013 helmimi i n\u00ebn\u00ebs \u2013 k\u00ebrkon p\u00ebrher\u00eb epror\u00eb, sepse vet\u00eb nuk \u00ebsht\u00eb gjoja n\u00eb gjendje t\u00eb vendos\u00eb. Personat e till\u00eb, me vete t\u00eb varur, kan\u00eb nevoj\u00eb p\u00ebr drejtues si persona apo n\u00eb grupe, parti, institucione. K\u00ebta njer\u00ebz jan\u00eb simpatizant\u00eb potencial\u00eb p\u00ebr m\u00ebnyrat e t\u00eb menduarit turmor\u00eb. Nj\u00eb person q\u00eb ka vuajtur nga terrori at\u00ebror, me rezultat t\u00eb m\u00ebvonsh\u00ebm frenimin e vetes, b\u00ebhet nj\u00eb i d\u00ebgjuesh\u00ebm i shk\u00eblqyesh\u00ebm, nj\u00eb person q\u00eb realizon urdhrat dhe rekomandimet dhe p\u00ebrpiqet p\u00ebrher\u00eb t\u00eb notoj\u00eb n\u00eb\/me mas\u00ebn q\u00eb t\u00eb mos bjer n\u00eb sy, d\u00ebshiron ta ket\u00eb qet\u00ebsin\u00eb e vet, mund\u00ebsisht t\u00eb mos mendoj\u00eb shum\u00eb.<\/p>\n

Mir\u00ebpo, pas k\u00ebsaj maske, kemi nj\u00eb kolon\u00eb ndjenjash t\u00eb akumuluara me plot agresivitet p\u00ebr shkak t\u00eb represionit t\u00eb p\u00ebrjetuar, k\u00ebshtu nj\u00eb baba \u201cshembull\u201d, nj\u00eb \u201cbashk\u00ebshort besnik\u201d, papritmas shkon me nj\u00eb grua tjet\u00ebr. Mallkimi at\u00ebror, me pasoj\u00ebn e m\u00ebvonshme t\u00eb neglizhimit t\u00eb vetes mbetet n\u00eb gjum\u00eb, i pa p\u00ebrkrahur, mbet\u00ebt edhe m\u00eb tutje pasiv, nuk e p\u00eblqen p\u00ebrpjekjen dhe nuk merr p\u00ebrgjegj\u00ebsi dhe detyrime. N\u00eb munges\u00eb orientimi dhe munges\u00eb suksesi dhe njohjeje, b\u00ebhet nj\u00eb pengues ziliqar, duke sulmuar t\u00eb suksesshmit. Nd\u00ebrsa keqp\u00ebrdorimi at\u00ebror, q\u00eb ka rezultat veten e mbingarkuar nuk ka qet\u00ebsi t\u00eb v\u00ebrtet\u00eb, ndoshta p\u00ebrher\u00eb n\u00eb tension p\u00ebr suksese t\u00eb m\u00ebtejshme, duke vepruar shpesh edhe me arroganc\u00eb, duke ndjer\u00eb k\u00ebnaq\u00ebsi p\u00ebr humb\u00ebsit. I mbingarkuari e mban vet\u00ebn t\u00eb ngritur, p\u00ebr nj\u00eb egoiz\u00ebm dhe distancim social \u2013 i af\u00ebrmi mbetet p\u00ebrher\u00eb konkurrent. K\u00ebta njer\u00ebz vuajn\u00eb nga lakmia e fitimi. Ajo \u00e7far\u00eb e karakterizon nj\u00eb vete t\u00eb rreme jan\u00eb \u00e7rregullimet e raporteve me njer\u00ebzit me nj\u00eb potencial agresiviteti t\u00eb theksuar.<\/p>\n

E gjitha kjo \u00ebsht\u00eb e r\u00ebnd\u00ebsishme p\u00ebr t\u00eb kuptuar psiko-dinamik\u00ebn e shoq\u00ebris\u00eb shqiptare n\u00eb t\u00eb kaluar\u00ebn dhe t\u00eb tashmen. Por, edhe sistemi diktatorial komunist shpjegohet si konsekuenc\u00eb e shumic\u00ebs me vetje t\u00eb k\u00ebrc\u00ebnuar dhe me vetje t\u00eb padashur. Dhe n\u00ebse analizojm\u00eb edhe vet\u00eb f\u00ebmij\u00ebrin\u00eb e Enver Hoxh\u00ebs, na del me ato mang\u00ebsi q\u00eb i kan\u00eb l\u00ebn\u00eb raportet e prind\u00ebrve t\u00eb tij n\u00eb t gjat\u00eb f\u00ebmij\u00ebris\u00eb. T\u00eb kujtojm\u00eb vet\u00ebm dhun\u00ebn dhe represaliet sistematike q\u00eb i b\u00ebnte sistemi komunist, p\u00ebrkat\u00ebsisht \u201cnacional\u00e7lirimtar\u00ebt\u201d ndaj \u201carmiqve t\u00eb brendsh\u00ebm\u201d dhe n\u00eb em\u00ebr t\u00eb luft\u00ebs s\u00eb klasave. Sa oficer\u00eb, ushtar\u00eb, hetues, prokuror\u00eb, polic\u00eb, funksionar\u00eb, leninist\u00eb, marksist\u00eb i ndoq\u00ebn njer\u00ebzit n\u00eb em\u00ebr t\u00eb ideologjis\u00eb komuniste si armiq, me nj\u00eb sadiz\u00ebm sociopatik \u2013 e n\u00eb fakt ishte p\u00ebr arsye t\u00eb vetjes s\u00eb rrejshme p\u00ebrkat\u00ebsisht jet\u00ebs s\u00eb rrejshme q\u00eb b\u00ebnin. Argumentet e mbushura me ideologji u shfryt\u00ebzuan si arsyetim q\u00eb vetjes s\u00eb brendshme t\u00eb k\u00ebrc\u00ebnuar t`i jepet nj\u00eb shpjegim i jasht\u00ebm p\u00ebr t\u00eb kaluar vet\u00eb si k\u00ebrc\u00ebnues. Sa t\u00eb s\u00ebmur\u00eb duhet t\u00eb ken\u00eb qen\u00eb gjith\u00eb ata prind\u00ebr e pasardh\u00ebs q\u00eb u p\u00ebrfshin\u00eb n\u00eb heshtje apo me vepra n\u00eb t\u00eb gjitha ato krime gjat\u00eb regjimit komunist shqiptar; me dhun\u00eb, vrasje, denoncime, shpifje, arrestime, burgosje t\u00eb atyre q\u00eb mendonin ndryshe, t\u00eb t\u00eb af\u00ebrmve. Urrejtja e akumuluar e vetjes s\u00eb k\u00ebrc\u00ebnuar dhe e padashur kalon n\u00eb nj\u00eb gjakmarrje kolektive.<\/p>\n

Ne duhet t\u00eb kuptojm\u00eb se pa akumulimin e fajit individual nuk mund t\u00eb shpjegohet nj\u00eb zhvillim shoq\u00ebror\u00eb patologjik dhe se nuk ka pjekuri pa p\u00ebrpunimin dhe pa e kuptuar p\u00ebrfshirjen individuale n\u00eb \u00e7mendin shkat\u00ebrrimtare t\u00eb krimit. Andaj nuk mund t\u00eb ket\u00eb Shqip\u00ebri t\u00eb \u201cs\u00ebmur\u00eb\u201d pa shqiptar\u00eb t\u00eb \u201cs\u00ebmur\u00eb\u201d. Andaj, edhe nga ky aspekt mund t\u00eb kuptohet pse ky popull dhe drejtuesit e sistemit diktatorial p\u00ebrher\u00eb k\u00ebrkonin armiq t\u00eb brendsh\u00ebm dhe t\u00eb jasht\u00ebm. N\u00eb fakt zhvillimi deformues shoq\u00ebror n\u00eb Shqip\u00ebrin\u00eb komuniste ishte nj\u00eb vazhdim\u00ebsi e nj\u00eb konformizmi turmor\u00eb pararend\u00ebs, me nj\u00eb fasad\u00eb tjet\u00ebr \u2013 pra me kalimin n\u00eb strukturat komuniste, ku pjesa d\u00ebrmuese e individ\u00ebve shqiptar\u00eb deklaroheshin si antifashist\u00eb. Me struktur\u00ebn e re sunduese komuniste \u2013 u instalua nj\u00eb ideologji mashtruese duke p\u00ebrhapur frik\u00eb nga spiunazhi, denoncimi, d\u00ebnimi. P\u00ebrs\u00ebri p\u00ebrndjekk\u00ebshin ata q\u00eb mendonin ndryshe. P\u00ebrshtatja dhe n\u00ebnshtrimi shp\u00ebrblehej me karrier\u00eb. K\u00ebshtu gjejn\u00eb veten ata me k\u00ebrc\u00ebnime t\u00eb vetes; me veten e torturuar; me padashurin\u00eb e vetes; me var\u00ebsin e vetes; me frenimin e vetes.<\/p>\n

Edhe pas kthes\u00ebs demokratike kjo do t\u00eb vijoj\u00eb t\u00eb ekzistoj\u00eb n\u00eb forma tjera. Kryesisht b\u00ebhet fjal\u00eb p\u00ebr mohimin e p\u00ebrfshirjes individuale n\u00eb patologjin\u00eb shoq\u00ebrore. Edhe lirimi nga diktatura, si liri e jashtme, mungesa e lirive t\u00eb brendshme mbetet edhe m\u00eb tutje n\u00eb forma t\u00eb ndryshme. Andaj, mungesa e qet\u00ebsis\u00eb politike vjen edhe si rezultat i manipulimit t\u00eb jet\u00ebs s\u00eb rreme individuale, sepse me t\u00eb \u201cikur\u201d t\u00eb armiqve t\u00eb jasht\u00ebm fillon marrja me vetveten dhe marrja me vetvete nxjerr situata ku manifestohet jeta e rreme. Ose manipulimi i k\u00ebsaj jete t\u00eb rrejshme duke vrapuar mbas pasuris\u00eb materiale, pastaj var\u00ebsia dhe lakmia shprehin po ashtu jet\u00ebn ton\u00eb t\u00eb rrejshme.<\/p>\n

Kthesa politike u imponua nga rrethanat e jashtme. Popullata papritmas filloi t\u00eb pranoj\u00eb sip\u00ebrfaq\u00ebsisht rendin e ri shoq\u00ebror dhe askush nuk ishte fajtor p\u00ebr at\u00eb \u00e7far\u00eb kishte ndodhur, secili duke i pastruar duart si i pafajsh\u00ebm, me pohime si k\u00ebto: nuk kam dashur, nuk e kam ditur, sistemi ishte i till\u00eb, nuk kishte mund\u00ebsi tjera apo edhe me arsyetimin se fajtor ishin komunist\u00ebt jugosllav\u00eb dhe mandej Enver Hoxha etj. Ka edhe nj\u00eb tjer\u00eb: ta l\u00ebm\u00eb t\u00eb kaluar\u00ebn, t\u00eb shikojm\u00eb p\u00ebrpara. Mir\u00ebpo, t\u00eb gjith\u00eb e din\u00eb se pa i njohur, kuptuar dhe pastruar gabimet e s\u00eb kaluar\u00ebs nuk mund t\u00eb ket\u00eb ardhm\u00ebri t\u00eb mir\u00eb. Fundja, pa nj\u00eb pjekuri mentale e shpirt\u00ebrore n\u00eb kuptimin e nj\u00eb demokratizimi t\u00eb brendsh\u00ebm (mental e shpirt\u00ebror) nuk mund t\u00eb flitet p\u00ebr sukses e kthes\u00eb politike, mbase edhe si hap i domosdosh\u00ebm \u2013 si nj\u00eb prej parakushteve \u2013 p\u00ebr nj\u00eb demokratizim t\u00eb v\u00ebrtet\u00eb. N\u00eb vend t\u00eb vet\u00ebnjohjes ngrihen figura t\u00eb reja armiq\u00ebsore, energjia kriminale shfaqen gjithandej, duke u marr\u00eb me simptome e nj\u00ebkoh\u00ebsisht duke mos e v\u00ebrejtur munges\u00ebn e pjekuris\u00eb psiko-sociale. K\u00ebshtu demokracia e jashtme ka nevoj\u00eb p\u00ebr armiq p\u00ebr ta mbuluar papjekurin\u00eb e brendshme, p\u00ebrkat\u00ebsisht demokratizimin e brendsh\u00ebm shpirt\u00ebror dhe p\u00ebr t\u00eb larguar v\u00ebmendjen nga papjekuria dhe tensionet e brendshme. Populli ka v\u00ebrejtur n\u00eb sken\u00ebn politike se p\u00ebr politikanin shqiptar m\u00eb me r\u00ebnd\u00ebsi \u00ebsht\u00eb kompensimi psikik, individual se sa mir\u00ebqenia e popullit.<\/p>\n

Ofendimet, sharjet, akuzat mes kund\u00ebrshtar\u00ebve politik\u00eb rrjedhin si t\u00eb vet\u00ebkuptueshme pa u marr\u00eb seriozisht me p\u00ebrmbajtjen. Sipas k\u00ebsaj q\u00eb u tha, skena politike shqiptare dominohet nga politikan\u00eb me vetje t\u00eb rreme, duke k\u00ebrkuar z\u00ebvend\u00ebsimin e dashuris\u00eb s\u00eb v\u00ebrtet\u00eb t\u00eb munguar prind\u00ebrore n\u00eb f\u00ebmij\u00ebrin\u00eb e hershme t\u00eb tyre. Liria e jashtme ka nevoj\u00eb t\u00eb plot\u00ebsohet me lirin\u00eb e brendshme, q\u00eb ajo t\u00eb mos keqp\u00ebrdoret. Do ishte tejet naive t\u00eb mendohet se nj\u00eb shoq\u00ebri q\u00eb ka p\u00ebrjetuar me dekada nj\u00eb autoritet diktatorial t\u00eb dhunsh\u00ebm e t\u00eb friksh\u00ebm n\u00eb rrethana sociale katastrof\u00eb, t\u00eb mund t\u00eb gjej\u00eb qet\u00ebsin\u00eb pa u liruar nga ngushtimet shpirt\u00ebrore mentale familjare, kulturore dhe fetare \u2013 pa nj\u00eb pun\u00eb psiko-sociale.<\/p>\n

L\u00ebvizjet protestuese si pasqyrim i jet\u00ebs s\u00eb rreme<\/strong><\/p>\n

Protesta n\u00eb nj\u00eb shoq\u00ebri demokratike \u00ebsht\u00eb element legjitim p\u00ebr t\u00eb shprehur pak\u00ebnaq\u00ebsi. N\u00eb an\u00ebn tjet\u00ebr, duhet b\u00ebr\u00eb nj\u00eb diferencim t\u00eb protestave t\u00eb tilla se \u00e7far\u00eb \u00ebsht\u00eb emocionale (e rreme) e \u00e7far\u00eb p\u00ebrmbajtjesore (e v\u00ebrtet\u00eb).<\/p>\n

Protestat me p\u00ebrmbajte t\u00eb arsyetuara, logjike dhe t\u00eb kuptueshme jan\u00eb t\u00eb kategoris\u00eb s\u00eb v\u00ebrtet\u00eb \u2013 p\u00ebrmbajtjesore. Protestat e tilla kan\u00eb q\u00ebllim t\u00eb qart\u00eb dhe k\u00ebrkojn\u00eb t\u00eb b\u00ebjn\u00eb nj\u00eb ndryshim real, \u00ebsht\u00eb jo egoiste, e m\u00eb tep\u00ebr e p\u00ebrgjithshme, protestat e v\u00ebrteta m\u00ebtojn\u00eb integrim dhe jan\u00eb n\u00eb sh\u00ebrbim t\u00eb zgjidhjeve optimale p\u00ebr t\u00eb gjith\u00eb t\u00eb prekurit dhe k\u00ebrkon kompromise t\u00eb mira, nd\u00ebrsa protestat e rreme ngrihen e zhvillohen n\u00eb afekt \u2013 q\u00eb mbrojn\u00eb jet\u00ebn e rreme \u2013 jan\u00eb irracionale, pa p\u00ebrmbajtje, emocionale dhe refuzojn\u00eb diskutimin p\u00ebrmbajtjesor. Zihen pozicionet dhe pal\u00ebt nuk jan\u00eb asnj\u00ebher\u00eb t\u00eb gatshme t\u00eb pranojn\u00eb gabime. Nuk b\u00ebhet fjal\u00eb p\u00ebr zgjidhje t\u00eb p\u00ebrbashk\u00ebta e aq m\u00eb pak p\u00ebr kompromise, por p\u00ebr marrje pushteti, p\u00ebr p\u00ebrmir\u00ebsim apo ristabilizim t\u00eb pozit\u00ebs personale. N\u00eb fakt, protestat e tilla jan\u00eb retorike, ideologjike, demagogjike dhe armiq\u00ebsore kundruall mendimeve tjera.<\/p>\n

Nd\u00ebrsa me injorimin e ndonj\u00eb proteste me q\u00ebndrim opozitar kritik, duke n\u00ebnvler\u00ebsuar apo fyer nga t\u00eb kritikuarit, nuk mund t\u00eb arrihet asgj\u00eb mbase vet\u00ebm se tregojn\u00eb simptome t\u00eb nj\u00eb jete t\u00eb rrejshme q\u00eb e b\u00ebjn\u00eb.<\/p>\n

Protestat p\u00ebr t`u kuptuar mir\u00eb duhet t\u00eb analizohen n\u00eb tri nivele: p\u00ebr motivet individuale (nuk po merrem seriozisht, ndjehem i indinjuar, nuk kam ndikim n\u00eb vendimet politike, ndjehem i tradhtuar, i k\u00ebrc\u00ebnuar, nuk ndjehem i sigurt); motive sociale (ekzistenca, puna, sigurimi i statusit, ku do t\u00eb mbetem nes\u00ebr, \u00e7far\u00eb do t\u00eb punoj nes\u00ebr, si do t\u00eb jetoj nes\u00ebr); dhe motivi shoq\u00ebror q\u00eb lidhet me \u00e7\u00ebshtjet kritike p\u00ebr zhvillimet e demokracis\u00eb dhe form\u00ebs s\u00eb determinuar kapitaliste (rritja e varf\u00ebris\u00eb, ruajtja e ambientit, ndryshimet klimatike, vendlindja, kombi, tradita, kultura).<\/p>\n

Me k\u00ebto shpjegime q\u00eb b\u00ebm\u00eb mund t\u00eb fitojm\u00eb nj\u00eb qasje ndryshe t\u00eb disa problemeve madhore e krizave t\u00eb ndryshme politike, q\u00eb po e tronditin me vite shoq\u00ebrin\u00eb shqiptare gjithandej ku jeton. Nga kjo q\u00eb e tham\u00eb nuk p\u00ebrjashtohen as edhe popujt tjer\u00eb, q\u00eb jetojn\u00eb n\u00eb fqinj\u00ebsi me shqiptar\u00ebt, por as edhe ata n\u00eb Europ\u00ebn politike. \/drita.info<\/em><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Nj\u00eb p\u00ebrqasje psikologjike mbi (mos)edukimin e jet\u00ebs shqiptare, e mb\u00ebshtetur n\u00eb studimet e psikoanalistit dhe psikiatrit t\u00eb njohur gjerman Hans-Joachim Maaz. \u201cShqiptaret nuk kane dashni p\u00ebr njeni \u2013 tjetrin, jan\u00eb e keqja e vetvetit\u201d At Zef Pllumi Nga Zef Ahmeti, Drita.Info Ka koh\u00eb q\u00eb po p\u00ebrpiqem t\u00eb kuptoj si dhe pse ka ndodhur q\u00eb p\u00ebr […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":37868,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[2],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-37867","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","category-artikuj"],"yoast_head":"\nPse jemi k\u00ebshtu si jemi? - FJALA e LIR\u00cb<\/title>\n<meta name=\"robots\" content=\"index, follow, max-snippet:-1, max-image-preview:large, max-video-preview:-1\" \/>\n<link rel=\"canonical\" href=\"https:\/\/jehonashqiptare.al\/fjala\/pse-jemi-keshtu-si-jemi\/\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:locale\" content=\"en_US\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:type\" content=\"article\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:title\" content=\"Pse jemi k\u00ebshtu si jemi? 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