{"id":44203,"date":"2019-08-18T06:00:32","date_gmt":"2019-08-18T04:00:32","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/fjala.info\/?p=44203"},"modified":"2019-08-18T06:46:14","modified_gmt":"2019-08-18T04:46:14","slug":"dasmat-glamuroze-dhe-varferia-shpirterore","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/jehonashqiptare.al\/fjala\/dasmat-glamuroze-dhe-varferia-shpirterore\/","title":{"rendered":"DASMAT GLAMUROZE DHE VARF\u00cbRIA SHPIRT\u00cbRORE"},"content":{"rendered":"

\"Xhelal Xhelal Zejneli<\/strong><\/p>\n

P\u00ebr ceremonit\u00eb gazmore si\u00e7 jan\u00eb dasmat, kudo n\u00eb hap\u00ebsirat shqiptare shpenzohen shuma t\u00eb m\u00ebdha parash. Dikur, nj\u00eb dasm\u00eb apo ceremoni martesore ka zgjatur nj\u00eb jav\u00eb, n\u00eb mos dhe m\u00eb tep\u00ebr. N\u00eb koh\u00ebn e sotme ceremonit\u00eb martesore zgjasin m\u00eb pak se nj\u00eb jav\u00eb. Por, ka raste kur edhe sot dasmat zgjasin plot shtat\u00eb dit\u00eb. Disa zakone shuhen, por n\u00eb p\u00ebrputhje me trendin, lindin adete t\u00eb reja. Zhvillimi i shoq\u00ebris\u00eb, rritja e baz\u00ebs materiale, ngritja e nivelit t\u00eb emancipimit, arsimimi, ngritja e vet\u00ebdijes, m\u00ebnyra urbane e jetes\u00ebs, integrimi n\u00eb jet\u00ebn sociale apo rritja e pun\u00ebsis\u00eb determinojn\u00eb edhe m\u00ebnyr\u00ebn e organizimit t\u00eb ceremonive martesore. Si dikur, ashtu edhe sot, p\u00ebr ceremonit\u00eb martesore n\u00eb bot\u00ebn shqiptare b\u00ebhen harxhime t\u00eb konsiderueshme. Ka familje q\u00eb p\u00ebr martes\u00ebn e djalit, p\u00ebrgatiten nj\u00eb koh\u00eb t\u00eb gjat\u00eb, n\u00eb mos dhe me vite.<\/p>\n

Dasmat nd\u00ebr shqiptar\u00eb organizohen kryesisht n\u00eb muajt e ver\u00ebs. N\u00eb k\u00ebt\u00eb koh\u00eb kthehen n\u00eb vendlindje shqiptar\u00ebt, q\u00eb punojn\u00eb dhe q\u00eb jetojn\u00eb n\u00ebp\u00ebr vende t\u00eb ndryshme t\u00eb Per\u00ebndimit. Me nj\u00eb fjal\u00eb, kthehen kurbet\u00e7injt\u00eb. P\u00ebrkund\u00ebr faktit se numri salloneve t\u00eb dasmave shtohet dita-dit\u00ebs, megjith\u00ebk\u00ebt\u00eb n\u00eb hap\u00ebsira t\u00eb caktuara shqiptare, p\u00ebr t\u00eb b\u00ebr\u00eb dasm\u00eb n\u00eb muajt e ver\u00ebs, sallonin duhet ta rezervosh disa muaj para, p\u00ebr t\u00eb mos th\u00ebn\u00eb – nj\u00eb vit para. Shpenzimet e sallonit t\u00eb dasm\u00ebs<\/em><\/strong> nd\u00ebrlidhen me numrin e t\u00eb ftuarve si dhe me cil\u00ebsin\u00eb dhe sasin\u00eb e ushqimit q\u00eb do t\u00eb konsumohet. Numri i t\u00eb ftuarve n\u00eb dasm\u00eb l\u00ebviz prej 200 mysafir\u00ebsh deri n\u00eb 300 sish.<\/p>\n

Ka dasma q\u00eb b\u00ebhen edhe me 100-120 vet\u00eb, sikund\u00ebr q\u00eb ka t\u00eb tilla, ku ftohen edhe mbi 300 vet\u00eb, var\u00ebsisht nga baza materiale e dasmorit. Dikur dasmat jan\u00eb b\u00ebr\u00eb n\u00ebp\u00ebr oborret e sht\u00ebpive. Raste t\u00eb tilla sot nuk ka apo ka shum\u00eb pak. Dikur dasmat jan\u00eb b\u00ebr\u00eb duke u ndar\u00eb burrat ve\u00e7 dhe grat\u00eb ve\u00e7, nd\u00ebrsa sot, shum\u00eb dasma b\u00ebhen bashk\u00ebrisht, d.m.th. gra e burra bashk\u00eb. Megjith\u00ebk\u00ebt\u00eb, edhe sot, n\u00eb vise t\u00eb caktuara shqiptare nj\u00eb num\u00ebr i konsideruesh\u00ebm i dasmave b\u00ebhen ndaras, pra burrat ve\u00e7 dhe grat\u00eb ve\u00e7. Ushqimi<\/em><\/strong> p\u00ebr person n\u00eb nj\u00eb sallon dasme kushton rreth 15 euro.<\/p>\n

Kuptohet, ushqimi p\u00ebr person mund t\u00eb kushtoj\u00eb edhe m\u00eb tep\u00ebr se kaq dhe kjo varet nga fuqia materiale dhe financiare e dasmorit. Dikur njer\u00ebzit jan\u00eb ftuar n\u00eb dasm\u00eb n\u00ebp\u00ebrmjet grish\u00ebses (grishatores). Sot nd\u00ebrkaq, n\u00eb saje t\u00eb teknologjis\u00eb, kjo praktik\u00eb \u00ebsht\u00eb eliminuar. N\u00eb dhjet\u00ebvje\u00e7ar\u00ebt e fundit, njer\u00ebzit thirren n\u00eb dasm\u00eb n\u00ebp\u00ebrmjet ftesave p\u00ebrkat\u00ebse<\/em><\/strong>. Ftesat e sip\u00ebrth\u00ebna paraqesin shpenzim shtes\u00eb p\u00ebr zotin e dasm\u00ebs.<\/p>\n

S\u2019ka dasm\u00eb pa muzik\u00eb. P\u00ebr dasm\u00ebn e muajve t\u00eb ver\u00ebs, edhe grupin muzikor<\/em><\/strong> duhet ta rezervosh disa muaj para. N\u00eb dasmat shqiptare, \u00e7mimi i grupit muzikor l\u00ebviz prej 1200 euro deri n\u00eb 3000 euro. N\u00eb shum\u00eb raste, ky \u00e7mim arrin edhe 4000 apo 5000 euro, n\u00eb mos dhe m\u00eb shum\u00eb. \u00c7mimi i muzik\u00ebs varet prej renomes\u00eb s\u00eb grupit muzikor. Sa m\u00eb i afirmuar t\u00eb jet\u00eb k\u00ebng\u00ebtari apo grupi muzikor, aq m\u00eb i lart\u00eb \u00ebsht\u00eb edhe \u00e7mimi. N\u00eb shum\u00eb raste, nj\u00eb grup muzikor ka n\u00eb kuadrin e vet dy e m\u00eb tep\u00ebr k\u00ebng\u00ebtar\u00eb. Sa m\u00eb i madh t\u00eb jet\u00eb numri i performuesve aq m\u00eb i lart\u00eb \u00ebsht\u00eb edhe \u00e7mimi i grupit.<\/p>\n

Ka dasma ku dasmori angazhon edhe pjes\u00eb t\u00eb shoq\u00ebrive kulturore-artistike<\/em><\/strong> me nj\u00eb program vallesh popullore n\u00eb koh\u00ebzgjatje prej rreth 30 minutave. Tani shpenzimet e muzik\u00ebs t\u00eb k\u00ebtij dasmori – shtohen. N\u00eb shum\u00eb dasma, pjes\u00eb e ceremonis\u00eb jan\u00eb edhe lodrat<\/em><\/strong>. Gjat\u00eb nj\u00eb dasme, lodrat angazhohen dy-tri her\u00eb: kur krushqit nisen p\u00ebr ta marr\u00eb nusen, kur e sjellin nusen n\u00eb sht\u00ebpin\u00eb e dh\u00ebndrit dhe n\u00eb sallonin ku zhvillohet ceremonia qendrore. Lodrat vijn\u00eb n\u00eb sallon rreth or\u00ebs 23, nd\u00ebrsa performanca e tyre zgjat 30 deri n\u00eb 45 minuta. Edhe lodrat paraqesin shpenzim shtes\u00eb p\u00ebr dasmorin.<\/p>\n

Gjat\u00eb ceremonis\u00eb qendrore q\u00eb realizohet n\u00eb sallon, r\u00ebndom jan\u00eb t\u00eb angazhuar nj\u00eb apo dy fotografues<\/em><\/strong>. Detyra e tyre \u00ebsht\u00eb t\u00eb fotografojn\u00eb kryesisht t\u00eb af\u00ebrmit e dh\u00ebndrit dhe t\u00eb nuses, por edhe pjes\u00ebmarr\u00ebsit e tjer\u00eb n\u00eb dasm\u00eb. Edhe k\u00ebto shpenzime p\u00ebrballohen kryesisht prej familjes s\u00eb dh\u00ebndrit. N\u00eb dekadat e fundit dasmat xhirohen edhe me kamera<\/em><\/strong>. Vitet e fundit dasmat xhirohen me kamera speciale<\/em><\/strong>, q\u00eb kan\u00eb kapacitet m\u00eb t\u00eb madh xhirimi. Kuptohet, edhe kamerat s\u2019vijn\u00eb pa para. \u00c7do gj\u00eb e ka \u00e7mimin e vet.<\/p>\n

Kah ora nj\u00eb pas mesnate, mysafir\u00ebt e dasm\u00ebs fillojn\u00eb t\u00eb derdhen, t\u00eb shkojn\u00eb. Mbeten vet\u00ebm t\u00eb af\u00ebrmit e dh\u00ebndrit. P\u00ebr ta, kah ora 2.30 pas mesnate pritet nj\u00eb tort\u00eb e madhe e stolisur<\/em><\/strong>. Torta pritet disi n\u00eb m\u00ebnyr\u00eb ceremoniale, por pak kush e provon at\u00eb. Edhe torta s\u2019\u00ebsht\u00eb q\u00eb s\u2019kushton. Pak nga pak, shpenzimet mblidhen e shtohen.<\/p>\n

N\u00eb dasm\u00eb nuk shkohet me rroba apo me tesha t\u00eb p\u00ebrdorura. Natyrsh\u00ebm, dh\u00ebndri do t\u2019i ket\u00eb rrobat e dh\u00ebnd\u00ebris\u00eb<\/em><\/strong>. Por, rroba e tesha do t\u00eb blejn\u00eb edhe an\u00ebtar\u00ebt e tjer\u00eb t\u00eb familjes s\u00eb dh\u00ebndrit, i madh e vog\u00ebl. Shpenzime t\u00eb konsiderueshme p\u00ebr familjen e dh\u00ebndrit paraqesin sidomos veshjet e grave. N\u00eb shum\u00eb raste, grat\u00eb e familjes s\u00eb dh\u00ebndrit nuk blejn\u00eb vet\u00ebm nj\u00eb pal\u00eb rroba, por m\u00eb shum\u00eb se kaq. N\u00eb dasmat shqiptare, grat\u00eb e familjes s\u00eb dh\u00ebndrit apo t\u00eb rrethit t\u00eb af\u00ebrt t\u00eb tij, gjat\u00eb ceremonis\u00eb s\u00eb dasm\u00ebs q\u00eb zhvillohet n\u00eb sallon, nd\u00ebrrohen dy-tri her\u00eb. Me nj\u00eb fjal\u00eb, i nd\u00ebrrojn\u00eb veshjet apo fustanet, p\u00ebr t\u00eb veshur t\u00eb tjera.<\/p>\n

Nj\u00eb men\u00e7uri t\u00eb k\u00ebtill\u00eb, burrat nuk e praktikojn\u00eb. Dikur kur i zoti i dasm\u00ebs e ka martuar t\u00eb birin, u ka qepur apo u ka bler\u00eb rroba, fustane e dimi edhe bijave t\u00eb martuara, hallave t\u00eb dh\u00ebndrit, xhaxhesh\u00ebs, mbesave etj. Ndon\u00ebse n\u00eb shuarje e sip\u00ebr, n\u00eb zona t\u00eb caktuara, ky zakon praktikohet edhe sot.<\/p>\n

N\u00eb koh\u00ebn e sotme, dasmat nuk zgjasin nj\u00eb jav\u00eb, sa kan\u00eb zgjatur dikur, por vet\u00ebm dy apo tri dit\u00eb. N\u00eb dit\u00ebn e par\u00eb t\u00eb dasm\u00ebs dasmorja i fton n\u00eb dasm\u00eb grat\u00eb t\u00eb cilat nuk shkojn\u00eb n\u00eb sallonin<\/em><\/strong>, ku mbahet ceremonia qendrore. Kjo pjes\u00eb e dasm\u00ebs mbahet n\u00eb nj\u00eb sallon me kapacitet m\u00eb t\u00eb vog\u00ebl. Ceremonia p\u00ebrcillet po ashtu me muzik\u00eb. Ka raste kur dasmorja k\u00ebt\u00eb ceremoni e realizon n\u00eb oborrin e sht\u00ebpis\u00eb, kuptohet t\u00eb p\u00ebrcjell\u00eb me muzik\u00eb. Ushqimin p\u00ebr t\u00eb ftuarit e porosit te gjell\u00ebb\u00ebr\u00ebsit publik\u00eb. Askush m\u00eb nuk q\u00ebron drith\u00eb, nuk gatuan n\u00eb sht\u00ebpi, si dikur.<\/p>\n

Dit\u00ebn e dyt\u00eb pason ceremonia qendrore q\u00eb mbahet n\u00eb sallon, nd\u00ebrsa t\u00eb tret\u00ebn dit\u00eb dasmori i fton burrat, kryesisht t\u00eb moshuar, t\u00eb cil\u00ebt nuk planifikohen p\u00ebr n\u00eb sallon. N\u00eb k\u00ebt\u00eb ceremoni t\u00eb dit\u00ebs s\u00eb tret\u00eb merr pjes\u00eb edhe kleriku i zon\u00ebs, k\u00ebshtu q\u00eb ajo p\u00ebrshkohet edhe me nj\u00eb lutje fetare. Kuptohet, t\u00eb ftuarve u shtrohet ushqim.<\/p>\n

Pjes\u00eb e shpenzimeve t\u00eb dasm\u00ebs \u00ebsht\u00eb edhe grimimi<\/em><\/strong> i grave t\u00eb familjes s\u00eb dh\u00ebndrit si dhe rregullimi i flok\u00ebve<\/em><\/strong> t\u00eb tyre. N\u00eb muajt e dasmave, p\u00ebr grimim dhe p\u00ebr rregullimin e frizurave, grat\u00eb duhet t\u00eb caktojn\u00eb termin te floktarja. Me fjal\u00eb t\u00eb tjera, duhet t\u00eb akordohen me t\u00eb, nj\u00eb apo dy dit\u00eb para. Si \u00e7do gj\u00eb, ashtu edhe grimi dhe rregullimi i flok\u00ebve e kan\u00eb \u00e7mimin e vet.<\/p>\n

Pjes\u00eb e shpenzimeve t\u00eb dasm\u00ebs jan\u00eb dhuratat<\/em><\/strong>, q\u00eb i k\u00ebmbejn\u00eb miqt\u00eb e rinj. Familja e dh\u00ebndrit u d\u00ebrgon peshqeshe an\u00ebtar\u00ebve t\u00eb familjes s\u00eb nuses dhe t\u00eb af\u00ebrmeve t\u00eb saj, nd\u00ebrsa ana e nuses \u2013 rrethit t\u00eb ngusht\u00eb dhe t\u00eb gjer\u00eb t\u00eb dh\u00ebndrit. Me p\u00ebrjashtime t\u00eb caktuara, ky zakon praktikohet edhe sot. S\u2019ka dyshim se k\u00ebto dhurata e kan\u00eb \u00e7mimin e vet. Dikur dhuratat i kan\u00eb d\u00ebrguara me mb\u00ebshtjellje m\u00eb t\u00eb thjesht\u00eb, nd\u00ebrkaq sot, kundrejt nj\u00eb pagese, paketohen dhe stolisen n\u00eb sh\u00ebrbimet t\u00eb specializuara p\u00ebr k\u00ebt\u00eb pun\u00eb.<\/p>\n

Shpenzime dasme ka edhe familja e nuses. Dikur vajzat vite me radh\u00eb e kan\u00eb p\u00ebrgatitur prik\u00ebn e nus\u00ebris\u00eb<\/em><\/strong>. Sot kjo tradit\u00eb \u00ebsht\u00eb n\u00eb shuarje e sip\u00ebr. Askush nuk qep\u00ebn dhe nuk blen 10 ose 20 fustane e m\u00eb tep\u00ebr, ngase me kalimin e koh\u00ebs ato dalin prej mode. Pjes\u00eb e ceremonis\u00eb martesore \u00ebsht\u00eb edhe nata e kan\u00ebs<\/em><\/strong>, t\u00eb cil\u00ebn e organizon ana e nuses. Kjo ceremoni mbahet n\u00eb ndonj\u00eb sallon. Nusja e fton farefisin e vet, t\u00eb cilave u shtrohet edhe ushqim. Numri l\u00ebviz prej 100 deri 300 vet\u00eb. Nga ana e dh\u00ebndrit vijn\u00eb rreth 50 gra t\u00eb cilat pasi ia v\u00ebn\u00eb kan\u00ebn<\/em> nuses – largohen. Edhe k\u00ebtu ka muzik\u00eb. Koh\u00ebt e fundit, n\u00eb saje t\u00eb filmave amerikan\u00eb, krahas kan\u00ebs, vajza q\u00eb shkon nuse organizon me rrethin e ngusht\u00eb t\u00eb saj \u2013 bachelorette<\/em><\/strong>. Ky banket i beqaris\u00eb, i p\u00ebrcjell\u00eb me ushqim dhe me muzik\u00eb, mbahet disi m\u00eb larg syve t\u00eb bot\u00ebs.<\/p>\n

Nj\u00eb num\u00ebr t\u00eb ftuarish, diku rreth 60-70 vet\u00eb, t\u00eb an\u00ebs s\u00eb nuses marrin pjes\u00eb n\u00eb ceremonin\u00eb qendrore q\u00eb mbahet n\u00eb sallon, bashk\u00eb me t\u00eb ftuarit e an\u00ebs s\u00eb dh\u00ebndrit. Shpenzimet e pjes\u00ebmarrjes s\u00eb tyre mbulohen nga ana e nuses, por shpesh ndodh q\u00eb t\u2019i mbuloj\u00eb ana e dh\u00ebndrit. Var\u00ebsisht nga baza materiale, numri i t\u00eb ftuarve nga ana e nuses mund t\u00eb jet\u00eb edhe m\u00eb i madh. Edhe p\u00ebrballimi i shpenzimeve nd\u00ebrlidhet me fuqin\u00eb financiare t\u00eb pal\u00ebve.<\/p>\n

Nuk duhet harruar se gjat\u00eb dasmave shpenzime kan\u00eb edhe t\u00eb ftuarit<\/em><\/strong> n\u00eb to. N\u00eb dasm\u00eb nuk shkohet duar that\u00eb. \u00c7do i ftuar sjell nj\u00eb dhurat\u00eb. Vitet e fundit praktikohet dh\u00ebnia e parave – 15 euro e p\u00ebrpjet\u00eb, var\u00ebsisht nga fuqia financiare si dhe nga afria e t\u00eb ftuarit me \u00e7iftin e ri. P\u00ebrpos shpenzimeve p\u00ebr dhuratat, t\u00eb ftuarit n\u00eb dasm\u00eb, sidomos grat\u00eb, kan\u00eb edhe harxhime t\u00eb tjera – blejn\u00eb p\u00ebr vete rroba t\u00eb reja, edhe pse ato \u201ct\u00eb vjetrat\u201d i kan\u00eb shum\u00eb m\u00eb t\u00eb mira.<\/p>\n

* * *<\/p>\n

Fustani i bardh\u00eb<\/em><\/strong> i nuses kushton prej 300 deri n\u00eb 1000 euro. Ka t\u00eb till\u00eb q\u00eb kushtojn\u00eb edhe m\u00eb tep\u00ebr se kaq. N\u00eb nj\u00eb bot\u00eb n\u00eb t\u00eb cil\u00ebn sundon materialja \u00e7mimet s\u2019kan\u00eb kufi. Fustani i bardh\u00eb nuk blihet n\u00eb qytez\u00ebn e \u00e7iftit t\u00eb ri. P\u00ebr t\u00eb shkohet m\u00eb larg. Madje kalohet edhe kufiri. Sa m\u00eb larg, aq m\u00eb me nam. Ndryshe \u00ebsht\u00eb kur t\u2019i thuash hall\u00ebs: E kam bler\u00eb n\u00eb kasaban\u00eb ton\u00eb, dhe krejt ndryshe \u00ebsht\u00eb kur i thua se ke kaluar lumenj e dete<\/em>. K\u00ebt\u00eb fustan nusja e re, gjat\u00eb gjith\u00eb jet\u00ebs s\u00eb saj do ta vesh\u00eb vet\u00ebm disa her\u00eb, n\u00eb mos vet\u00ebm nj\u00eb her\u00eb. Grimi i nuses dhe frizura e saj<\/em><\/strong>, kundrejt nj\u00eb \u00e7mimi t\u00eb caktuar, b\u00ebhet te floktarja, q\u00eb \u00ebsht\u00eb e specializuar p\u00ebr p\u00ebrgatitjen e nuseve. Vetura me t\u00eb cil\u00ebn e marrin nusen<\/em><\/strong> stoliste n\u00eb sh\u00ebrbimin, t\u00eb specializuar p\u00ebr k\u00ebt\u00eb pun\u00eb. Ka raste kur n\u00eb bot\u00ebn shqiptare nusen e marrin edhe me helikopter<\/em><\/strong>.<\/p>\n

N\u00eb k\u00ebt\u00eb mjet fluturimi p\u00ebr ulixhen s\u2019ka vend. N\u00eb t\u00eb shkuar\u00ebn nusen e kan\u00eb marr\u00eb me kal\u00eb shal\u00eb apo me pajton. Shpenzime t\u00eb konsiderueshme p\u00ebr sht\u00ebpin\u00eb e dh\u00ebndrit paraqesin stolit\u00eb prej ari t\u00eb nuses<\/em><\/strong>. Vitet e fundit kjo tradit\u00eb apo ky zakon jep shenja reduktimi. P\u00ebr rrethanat e shoq\u00ebris\u00eb shqiptare, \u00e7mimi i arit n\u00eb treg \u00ebsht\u00eb tejet i lart\u00eb. Si rrjedhoj\u00eb, p\u00ebr shum\u00ebk\u00ebnd \u00ebsht\u00eb i pap\u00ebrballuesh\u00ebm. Por, ata q\u00eb kan\u00eb forc\u00eb t\u00eb madhe financiare, sot e k\u00ebsaj dite e mbulojn\u00eb gjoksin e nuses me flori, duke ia r\u00ebnduar edhe qaf\u00ebn. Dikur nuses i kan\u00eb d\u00ebrguar nj\u00eb num\u00ebr t\u00eb konsideruesh\u00ebm fustanesh, nd\u00ebrsa sot ky num\u00ebr sh\u00ebnon r\u00ebnie. Fustani i qepur sot, nes\u00ebr b\u00ebhet demode.<\/p>\n

N\u00eb nj\u00ebfar\u00eb m\u00ebnyre demode jan\u00eb duke u b\u00ebr\u00eb edhe stolit\u00eb prej ari. Ka gra, t\u00eb cilat p\u00ebrdorin bizhuteri. Nuses i qepen edhe dimi<\/em><\/strong>. Edhe pse tregojn\u00eb shenja t\u00eb daljes nga moda, dimit\u00eb e punuara me fije t\u00eb praruara, d.m.th. me s\u00ebrma, sot e gjith\u00eb dit\u00ebn vazhdojn\u00eb t\u00eb jen\u00eb n\u00eb p\u00ebrdorim. K\u00ebto dimi kushtojn\u00eb 1500 euro. Po kaq kushtojn\u00eb edhe kaftanat<\/em><\/strong>. Gjithsej 3000 euro. P\u00ebr kushtet e k\u00ebtij populli me perspektiv\u00eb t\u00eb zymt\u00eb, k\u00ebto jan\u00eb \u00e7mime astronomike. P\u00ebr k\u00ebt\u00eb popull q\u00eb z\u00eb nd\u00ebr vendet e para n\u00eb bot\u00eb me tendenc\u00ebn e shp\u00ebrnguljes, k\u00ebto shuma jan\u00eb absurde. P\u00ebr k\u00ebt\u00eb popull q\u00eb s\u2019ka industri dhe ekonomi k\u00ebto shpenzime jan\u00eb t\u00eb tep\u00ebrta.<\/strong><\/p>\n

Nuset e sotme, me shkoll\u00eb dhe t\u00eb pun\u00ebsuara, gjat\u00eb gjith\u00eb jet\u00ebs s\u00eb tyre dimit\u00eb e sip\u00ebrth\u00ebna i veshin fare pak, p\u00ebr t\u00eb mos th\u00ebn\u00eb aspak. Shpenzimet nd\u00ebrkaq – b\u00ebhen. K\u00ebshtu mblidhen e b\u00ebhen tri-kat\u00ebr pal\u00eb dimi. \u00cbsht\u00eb paradoksale q\u00eb nj\u00eb vajz\u00eb, e cila hiqet e arsimuar dhe e emancipuar, t\u00eb rend\u00eb pas do zakoneve, adeteve dhe dokeve q\u00eb jan\u00eb anakronike dhe n\u00eb per\u00ebndim e sip\u00ebr. O koh\u00eb, o zakone!<\/em><\/strong> N\u00eb nj\u00eb an\u00eb thot\u00eb se \u00ebsht\u00eb moderne, e n\u00eb an\u00ebn tjet\u00ebr ngulmon p\u00ebr vlerat, q\u00eb jan\u00eb relikte t\u00eb s\u00eb shkuar\u00ebs! Ka edhe raste kur miku i \u00e7on fjal\u00eb mikut se dasma s\u2019b\u00ebhet dot pa stoli ari, pa sallon dasme, pa muzika.<\/p>\n

N\u00eb nat\u00ebn e mbylljes s\u00eb \u00e7iftit t\u00eb ri, vajzat e familjes s\u00eb dh\u00ebndrit, t\u00eb fisit dhe t\u00eb lagjes, diku rreth 15 sosh organizojn\u00eb arifane<\/em><\/strong>. Fatmir\u00ebsisht, dasmorit kjo s\u2019i kushton gj\u00eb. Parat\u00eb e arifanes, d.m.th. t\u00eb dark\u00ebs, k\u00ebto vajza i fitojn\u00eb vet\u00eb. Nj\u00eb nat\u00eb para, n\u00eb or\u00ebt e vona t\u00eb nat\u00ebs ato shkojn\u00eb me dajre n\u00ebp\u00ebr sht\u00ebpit\u00eb e farefisit t\u00eb dh\u00ebndrit p\u00ebr t\u00eb k\u00ebrkuar pul\u00eb. Kthehen n\u00eb sht\u00ebpin\u00eb e dh\u00ebndrit pas mesnate. Dajesha apo xhixha pul\u00ebn e ka z\u00ebn\u00eb qysh dit\u00ebn. Ajo q\u00eb s\u2019mban pula t\u00eb gjalla, u jep pul\u00eb t\u00eb bler\u00eb n\u00eb tregtiz\u00eb. Dikush u jep para, prej 500 deri 1000 denar\u00eb (rreth 10 deri 15 euro). Ky adet \u00ebsht\u00eb n\u00eb per\u00ebndim e sip\u00ebr, por aty-k\u00ebtu praktikohet ende.<\/p>\n

Nja dy dit\u00eb pas dasm\u00ebs, ato t\u00eb nuses vijn\u00eb n\u00eb sht\u00ebpi t\u00eb dh\u00ebndrit me dhurata e peshqeshe. Sjellin \u00ebmb\u00eblsira, bakllava, torta, stoli ari, aparate elektrike, pajisje teknike, rroba etj. N\u00ebse nd\u00ebr ta ka edhe f\u00ebmij\u00eb, at\u00ebher\u00eb e \u00ebma e dh\u00ebndrit u jep atyre para – 10 deri 20 euro e p\u00ebrpjet\u00eb. Ky zakon \u00ebsht\u00eb n\u00eb zhdukje e sip\u00ebr, por n\u00eb zona t\u00eb caktuara akoma jeton.<\/p>\n

Disa prej zakoneve t\u00eb lartp\u00ebrmendura jan\u00eb ndikime t\u00eb huaja. Kuptohet, zakonet, doket dhe traditat nuk jan\u00eb t\u00eb nj\u00ebjta n\u00eb \u00e7do cep t\u00eb bot\u00ebs shqiptare.<\/p>\n

Nja dy dit\u00eb pas nat\u00ebs s\u00eb dasm\u00ebs, nusja e fshin lam\u00ebn<\/strong>. K\u00ebtu p\u00ebr t\u00eb zotin e dasm\u00ebs nuk ka shpenzime. Nj\u00eb prej grave t\u00eb farefisit t\u00eb dh\u00ebndrit i imiton an\u00ebtar\u00ebt e familjes s\u00eb nuses apo t\u00eb af\u00ebrmit e saj. B\u00ebhet si n\u00ebna e saj, si babai, i v\u00ebllai, si daja etj. Edhe k\u00ebt\u00eb lloj humori \u00ebsht\u00eb duke e shkelur koha.<\/p>\n

Pjes\u00eb e dasm\u00ebs \u00ebsht\u00eb edhe ajo q\u00eb quhet muaji i mjaltit<\/em><\/strong>. \u00c7ifti i ri shkon n\u00eb sh\u00ebtitje nj\u00ebjavore apo edhe m\u00eb tep\u00ebr. Bijt\u00eb e oligark\u00ebve, t\u00eb pushtetar\u00ebve apo t\u00eb politikan\u00ebve shkojn\u00eb deri n\u00eb Amerik\u00eb. Dasma ende s\u2019ka p\u00ebrfunduar. Pason dark\u00eb\u00e7ika<\/em><\/strong>, d.m.th. zijafeti<\/em><\/strong>. Kjo dark\u00eb solemne mbahet n\u00eb ndonj\u00eb restorant ku organizohen ceremoni t\u00eb tilla. Ana e nuses e fton familjen e dh\u00ebndrit dhe t\u00eb af\u00ebrmit e tij.<\/p>\n

Mblidhen rreth 30 deri 40 vet\u00eb. Pas k\u00ebsaj edhe ana e dh\u00ebndrit i fton ato t\u00eb nuses. Dikur jan\u00eb b\u00ebr\u00eb dy zijafete. Sot rrall\u00ebkush i b\u00ebn dy. Tani b\u00ebhet kryesisht nj\u00eb zijafet, p\u00ebr t\u00eb mos th\u00ebn\u00eb asnj\u00eb. Dikur miqt\u00eb e ri s\u2019jan\u00eb njohur sa duhet, ndaj n\u00ebp\u00ebrmjet zijafeteve kan\u00eb vendosur kontakte n\u00eb funksion t\u00eb njohjes s\u00eb nj\u00ebri-tjetrit. T\u00eb rinjt\u00eb sot dhe familjar\u00ebt e tyre, n\u00eb saje t\u00eb teknologjis\u00eb jan\u00eb n\u00eb kontakt t\u00eb vazhduesh\u00ebm. Njer\u00ebzit s\u2019kan\u00eb shum\u00eb koh\u00eb t\u00eb merren me ceremoni t\u00eb tilla, i kan\u00eb pun\u00ebt e veta, nd\u00ebrsa kurbet\u00e7injt\u00eb kthehen nga kan\u00eb ardhur.<\/p>\n

* * *<\/p>\n

Nj\u00eb familje shqiptare harxhon p\u00ebr dasm\u00eb energji t\u00eb konsiderueshme. F\u00ebmij\u00ebt e oligark\u00ebve, t\u00eb politikan\u00ebve dhe t\u00eb pushtetar\u00ebve, shpenzimet e nj\u00eb dasme s\u2019i ndjen\u00eb fare. Edhe kurbet\u00e7injt\u00eb ia dalin leht\u00eb. Disa t\u00eb rinjve u duhet t\u00eb shkojn\u00eb p\u00ebr t\u00eb punuar n\u00eb Irak, n\u00eb Afganistan apo n\u00eb ndonj\u00eb vend t\u00eb Afrik\u00ebs. P\u00ebr ta martuar djalin dikush e shet edhe ar\u00ebn. Pare p\u00ebr dasm\u00eb s\u2019t\u00eb jep kush. As v\u00ebllai. S\u2019ke si ia kthen. P\u00ebr dasm\u00eb dikush merr edhe kredi n\u00eb shum\u00eb prej 5000 deri n\u00eb 10.000 euro. Kredi me kamat\u00eb. Derisa ta kthej\u00eb kredin\u00eb heq t\u00eb zit\u00eb e ullirit. Pastaj nuk \u00ebsht\u00eb vet\u00ebm dasma.<\/p>\n

Ndokush ka nevoj\u00eb ta meremetoj\u00eb edhe sht\u00ebpin\u00eb. Dasm\u00eb t\u00eb b\u00ebsh apo sht\u00ebpin\u00eb ta meremetosh?! Ka t\u00eb till\u00eb q\u00eb jan\u00eb martuar pa dasm\u00eb dhe asgj\u00eb s\u2019i ka gjetur. Dasm\u00eb po, por n\u00eb suaza racionale. Harmonin\u00eb nuk e siguron dot dasma. Thelbi i harmonis\u00eb \u00ebsht\u00eb dashuria<\/em><\/strong> dhe jo sallonet, tupan\u00ebt, peshqeshet, helikopter\u00ebt apo muaji i mjaltit p\u00ebrtej detit. Kuptimi i jet\u00ebs q\u00ebndron n\u00eb veprimin e pand\u00ebrprer\u00eb t\u00eb dy t\u00eb rinjve, p\u00ebr ta ndryshuar realitetin dhe p\u00ebr ta b\u00ebr\u00eb at\u00eb m\u00eb t\u00eb njer\u00ebzishme<\/em><\/strong>.<\/p>\n

T\u00eb rinjt\u00eb duhet t\u00eb jen\u00eb m\u00eb praktik\u00eb dhe m\u00eb pragmatik\u00eb. N\u00eb k\u00ebt\u00eb koh\u00eb krize duhet par\u00eb at\u00eb q\u00eb \u00ebsht\u00eb funksionale. Ka t\u00eb rinj t\u00eb cil\u00ebt, duke trash\u00ebguar baz\u00eb materiale nga gjysh\u00ebr e prind\u00ebr, jet\u00ebn e gjejn\u00eb t\u00eb gatshme. Por pjesa m\u00eb e madhe e rinis\u00eb shqiptare jet\u00ebn duhet ta nd\u00ebrtojn\u00eb vet\u00eb, me mundin dhe me djers\u00ebn e vet. Dasmat glamuroze jan\u00eb privilegj i nj\u00eb pjese t\u00eb vog\u00ebl t\u00eb shoq\u00ebris\u00eb. Shum\u00eb prej tyre jan\u00eb snob\u00eb, t\u00eb cil\u00ebt n\u00ebp\u00ebrmjet nj\u00eb ceremonie plot salltanet, synojn\u00eb promovimin shoq\u00ebror.<\/p>\n

Dasmat e kushtueshme, p\u00ebr nj\u00eb popull q\u00eb ende nuk e ka kaluar faz\u00ebn e konsolidimit komb\u00ebtar d\u00ebshmojn\u00eb p\u00ebr varf\u00ebrin\u00eb shpirt\u00ebrore t\u00eb shoq\u00ebris\u00eb<\/em><\/strong>. P\u00ebr k\u00ebt\u00eb popull, t\u00eb tillat ceremoni duhet t\u00eb jen\u00eb pun\u00eb dyt\u00ebsore dhe sporadike. Vler\u00eb e dor\u00ebs s\u00eb par\u00eb p\u00ebr t\u00eb rinjt\u00eb \u00ebsht\u00eb krijimi i familjes<\/em><\/strong>. Madje, krijimi i familjes n\u00eb koh\u00eb t\u00eb duhur. Jeta \u00ebsht\u00eb e bukur, jo kur begatin\u00eb e gjen t\u00eb gatshme, por kur at\u00eb e krijon me duart e tua. Askush n\u00eb histori s\u2019ka krijuar dot pasuri marramend\u00ebse pa b\u00ebr\u00eb veprime t\u00eb panjer\u00ebzishme.<\/p>\n

S\u2019ka dyshim se dasmat n\u00ebp\u00ebr provinca kan\u00eb edhe karakter gare. Me dasm\u00eb t\u00eb madhe dasmori demonstron edhe forc\u00ebn materiale t\u00eb vet si dhe statusin social. Aty ku \u00ebsht\u00eb n\u00ebp\u00ebrk\u00ebmbur dhe \u00ebsht\u00eb p\u00ebrmbysur sistemi i vlerave, askush nuk pyet p\u00ebr m\u00ebnyr\u00ebn e pasurimit t\u00eb nj\u00eb oligarku, t\u00eb nj\u00eb pushtetari apo t\u00eb nj\u00eb politikani.<\/p>\n

T\u00eb rinjt\u00eb e sot\u00ebm duhet ta din\u00eb se dashuria, krijimi i familjes, harmonia dhe puna e ndershme jan\u00eb p\u00ebrmbi baz\u00ebn materiale<\/em><\/strong>. S\u2019ka dashuri dhe harmoni q\u00eb blihen me para. Dhe s\u2019ka p\u00ebr t\u00eb pasur. Ai q\u00eb pandeh se paraja \u00ebsht\u00eb \u00e7do gj\u00eb, p\u00ebr para \u00ebsht\u00eb n\u00eb gjendje t\u00eb b\u00ebj\u00eb \u00e7\u2019mos. Familja shqiptare, shkolla shqiptare dhe shoq\u00ebria shqiptare nuk duhet t\u00eb lejojn\u00eb p\u00ebrmbysjen e vlerave. Dasma nj\u00eb jav\u00eb n\u00eb shekullin XXI \u00ebsht\u00eb anakroniz\u00ebm.<\/p>\n

Shpenzimet enorme p\u00ebr nj\u00eb ceremoni martesore, n\u00eb k\u00ebt\u00eb koh\u00eb krize jan\u00eb n\u00eb kund\u00ebrshti me arsyen njer\u00ebzore. Ti i jep mij\u00ebra euro p\u00ebr nj\u00eb dasm\u00eb, nd\u00ebrsa fqinji yt vuan p\u00ebr buk\u00eb dhe s\u2019ka mund\u00ebsi mjekimi.<\/p>\n

Do t\u00eb kishte qen\u00eb m\u00eb e arsyeshme q\u00eb shqiptar\u00ebt dasmat t\u2019i reduktonin n\u00eb suaza t\u00eb racionales, nd\u00ebrsa potencialin financiar ta orientonin n\u00eb ekonomi, n\u00eb industri, n\u00eb arsimim cil\u00ebsor, n\u00eb sh\u00ebndet\u00ebsi cil\u00ebsore, n\u00eb infrastruktur\u00eb bashk\u00ebkohore etj. A thua b\u00ebhet kjo?! Nj\u00eb gjykim si ky, mos vall\u00eb \u00ebsht\u00eb utopi dhe iluzion!<\/p>\n

Rini, e ke fjal\u00ebn!<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Xhelal Zejneli P\u00ebr ceremonit\u00eb gazmore si\u00e7 jan\u00eb dasmat, kudo n\u00eb hap\u00ebsirat shqiptare shpenzohen shuma t\u00eb m\u00ebdha parash. Dikur, nj\u00eb dasm\u00eb apo ceremoni martesore ka zgjatur nj\u00eb jav\u00eb, n\u00eb mos dhe m\u00eb tep\u00ebr. N\u00eb koh\u00ebn e sotme ceremonit\u00eb martesore zgjasin m\u00eb pak se nj\u00eb jav\u00eb. Por, ka raste kur edhe sot dasmat zgjasin plot shtat\u00eb dit\u00eb. […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":44204,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[2],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-44203","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","category-artikuj"],"yoast_head":"\nDASMAT GLAMUROZE DHE VARF\u00cbRIA SHPIRT\u00cbRORE - FJALA e LIR\u00cb<\/title>\n<meta name=\"robots\" content=\"index, follow, max-snippet:-1, max-image-preview:large, max-video-preview:-1\" \/>\n<link rel=\"canonical\" href=\"https:\/\/jehonashqiptare.al\/fjala\/dasmat-glamuroze-dhe-varferia-shpirterore\/\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:locale\" content=\"en_US\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:type\" content=\"article\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:title\" content=\"DASMAT GLAMUROZE DHE VARF\u00cbRIA SHPIRT\u00cbRORE - FJALA e LIR\u00cb\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:description\" content=\"Xhelal Zejneli P\u00ebr ceremonit\u00eb gazmore si\u00e7 jan\u00eb dasmat, kudo n\u00eb hap\u00ebsirat shqiptare shpenzohen shuma t\u00eb m\u00ebdha parash. Dikur, nj\u00eb dasm\u00eb apo ceremoni martesore ka zgjatur nj\u00eb jav\u00eb, n\u00eb mos dhe m\u00eb tep\u00ebr. N\u00eb koh\u00ebn e sotme ceremonit\u00eb martesore zgjasin m\u00eb pak se nj\u00eb jav\u00eb. Por, ka raste kur edhe sot dasmat zgjasin plot shtat\u00eb dit\u00eb. 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