{"id":4426,"date":"2016-07-13T23:55:30","date_gmt":"2016-07-13T22:55:30","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.fjala.info\/?p=4426"},"modified":"2018-04-01T20:40:14","modified_gmt":"2018-04-01T19:40:14","slug":"jo-nuk-kam-nderruar-fe-por-nuk-jam-as-muslimane","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/jehonashqiptare.al\/fjala\/jo-nuk-kam-nderruar-fe-por-nuk-jam-as-muslimane\/","title":{"rendered":"\u201cJo. Nuk kam nderruar fe, por nuk jam as muslimane!\u201d"},"content":{"rendered":"

Q\u00ebndres\u00eb Halili<\/strong><\/p>\n

Familjes sime te gjere-ndjere\u2026!<\/em><\/p>\n

\u201cMe vjen keq se e keni humbur tashme Qendresen, ate vajzen e dashtun, familjare, besnike e \u201cfaqebardhen\u201d e shtepise. \u2013 si\u00e7 me thoshte gjithmone lokja e vjeter plake (qe e kam qiti jasht ketij rrethi te dhimbshem, r\u00ebnd\u00eb, e me plot prerje).\u201d<\/p>\n

Boll me qe dy vite kam pritur, falur, e arsyetuar. Por, kjo tradhti, mos-pritje e mos-merite nuk durohet. Jo, me! Ka ardhur kohe te flas, te flas ashtu si\u00e7 Qendresa din gjithmone. Drejt! Pa rrotulla! Me shume sinqeritet e dashuri. Se pari; per hir te se vertetes se shenjte, se dyti; per hir te dashurise, qe ata e perziejn me te kunderten \u201cfeh\u201d dhe se treti; per hir te artit, qe eshte nje ngjarje e jashtzakonshme, ralle, e pabesueshme. Perse jo? Perse mos ta bej Letersi? E di, dikujt mund te mos duket normale kjo, por une, keshtu jam, nuk ndjehem gjalle e rehat, po nuk e qes ne shpesh te verteten, sado e hidhiur te jete ajo. Sado e dhembshem. Sado e keqe. Une, jam bije e se vertetes, dashurise e letersiese!<\/p>\n

Nuk kam asnje dyshim, dilem\u00eb, apo frike me, te mos besoj ne dicka qe me mbush frike, tmerr e ngushton mbrendesine time, di\u00e7ka qe s\u2019me jep asnje pike drite e shprese, drejt njohjes te se shenjtes dashuri qe une e quaj Zot! Zoti eshte dashuri, per krejt ata Qe ende e Duan Zotin nga frika, nevoje apo edhe ndonje tjeter interes. Boll me keni sha, pergoju, lendu, mallku e me thirrur ne lloj-lloj emrash kafshesh, shtazesh e emra qe as vet nuk i njoh e di kuptimin e tyre. Si nuk ju dhimbset nje nene? Nene, si nena ime? E ta dini pra; Une, jam Qendrese, kam personalitet, karakter te forte (sa gjysma e muslimaneve tane, nga ata ma te devotshmit, me shume siguri e them se nuk bajn jete ma te ndershem e plot me sakrifica e mund, si imja).<\/p>\n

Jo, Nuk kam nderruar fe, por nuk jam muslimane, pike. Si vajze e lindur e rritur ne familje muslimane, i\u00a0di gjithe zakonet, adetete e lutjet e muslmaneve (biles edhe kam agjeruar e jam falur) gje qe as nuk e mohoj as nuk pendohem, sepse kane qene pervoja qe me kane mesuar e mbushur fort mend. Por, jo me! Une, nuk i perkas asaj feje e besimi me. Per nje fe e nga frika saj ma kthejne shpinen gjithe familja ime e gjaku im, ajo nuk eshte fe imja? As besimi im? As dashuria ime? Jo. Kurre! Njeriu, qenka boll I fort ne vete, sa qe dy vite, skam e nuk ndjej dashurine e askujt nga familja ime, pos te Nanes, drites sime, qe, kurre, nuk pushon se menduari per mua (shpesh edhe ne mesnate me thirre). E gjithe kjo histori ka ndodhur, prej se kam botuar shkrimin \u201cUne Muslimanja, qe festova Krishtlindjet<\/em>\u201d.<\/p>\n

Nga ajo dite, nuk me don me as familja ime e gjere, nuk me pyesin kurre, as si jam as ku jam. As feste as gezime as pershendetje e as urime. Kurre, asnjehere, as nje ze nga ata! Kurre! Shtrohet pyetja: Ata nuk jane te mire? Feja? apo qe dy palet? \u2013 e qe, une e besoj plotesisht te fundit. Feja nuk ju jep leje ta duan e afrojne dike qe ka tradhtuar \u201cfene e tyre\u201d dhe ata, qe eshte mjeruese, qe i binden dickahit te tille, qe ngjan ma shume se vdekja e keqe. Familjaret e mi muslimane, qe me urrejne ve\u00e7 pse paskam publikuar nje shkrim dhe pse paskam fyer rend e poshteru muslimanizmin e tyre, qe e kane e mbajn ve\u00e7 ne goj\u00eb, pa e njohur e ndjer ne shpirt. Zoti nuk jeton ve\u00e7 kur \u201cfaleni\u201d as ve\u00e7 kur \u201cagjeroni\u201d, apo ve\u00e7 kur uroni njeri tjetrin nje dite \u201cper bajram\u201d duke u gezuar me nje cope bakllave turqelish. Zoti eshte ne shpirtin tuaj, ai jeton mbarenda jush. E keni ne vete, ve\u00e7 se, nuk po dini si ta gjeni.<\/p>\n

Ky, eshte realiteti i jestes time pas ardhjen ne Amerike; e vetme, me nje valixhen plot libra, billiona endrra e pa para (me borxhe), por plot dashuri e shprese per kete vend, vend te lirise. Ameriken, kush nuk e dashuron, s\u2019ka shpirt! Ka dy vite qe nuk me flasin hallat. Nuk me flasin as dajallaret e as kusheriret as komshit e migjallare, vec pse nuk e besoj fen e tyre, nuk e perkrah, dhe nuk e kam gjetur veten aty, dhe ma e shenjta, nuk e kam gjetur Zotin aty. Eshte shume me e lehte ta pranoj sesa ta genjej veten, Zotin e ju apo jo? As shoke e miqasi, as motra e vllazni, pos nje Nane, Ah, Nana ime, drita ime. Ra feja muslimane e u tregu mos Dashuria e tyre, mos sinqeriteti dhe mos mirnjohja tyre. Shpesh e mendoj me veten: Si eshte e mundur qe nje fe e huaj, e imponuar e trasheguar me zor te behet me e madhe se Dashuria? Se vet njerzit? Se vete miresia? Se vet gjaku? Se vet atdheu? Se vet gjuha? Se vet kombi? E se vet, vet jeta?<\/p>\n

Me jane larguar si\u00e7 thash te gjithe, edhe plot si ta do te me largohen, e me besoni se nuk i ndali\u2026 Biles, bash me kete qellim e bera kete shkrim: Largohuni, o njerez qe s`me doni sinqerisht, Largohuni nga jeta ime, Ju ve\u00e7 shkoni\u2026<\/p>\n

\u201cNje dashuri te rreme e qet ne drite puna fes e besimit te kundert, s\u2019me duhet gje\u201d se per njerzit qe din te dashurojne pa kushte, pa lakmi, pa djallzi, pra dallim, pa feh, pra parti, dashur te paster asnje pike ska aty. \u201cRa feja e dul e verteta. E kam njohur veten. E kam njohur Zotin. I kam njohur edhe njerzit.\u201d Thjeshte, mi ka qele syte e ba te madhe brenda vetes, sa qe tash si kam frik as te rrezikshmes jete, ti dal para e te mos guxon te me rrezoj asnjehere, ani pse shpesh me dridh.<\/p>\n

Nje fe qe ma largon vllaun e barkut ve\u00e7 shkaku i besimit, ajo nuk eshte fe e dashurise e ngrohtesise! Hallave te mija muslimane, ju them se: nuk te ben njeri te mire as shamija, qe e vnoni vec gjate procesin te lutjes, se vec atehere, sipas fes e juve \u201cve\u00e7 atehere ju sheh e degjon Allahu\u201d as fjala \u201cAllah na fal\u201d qe njera e ngreh ve\u00e7 pasi pi goten e veres, mandej, as minifundet, as paraja, as agjerimi, as sakrifica e te qenurit \u201cunt\u201d per nje muaj ramazan e pas \u201ciftarit\u201d duke pergojuar, as lutjet e juaja famkeqe qe une te humbas rrugen e jetes, ve\u00e7 pse nuk jam si ju, e qe jam jashtzakonisht e lumtur per kete fakt.<\/p>\n

I bej te fala edhe atij burrit te Halles sime te madhe, qe vazhdon ende te flet per kembet e mija me minifunde dhe per \u201cxhehnemin\u201d ne ate bote, i them se ka shpetuar nga ai mekat tashme. Kusheriret me shajn dite e nate e falin \u201cnamaz per mua\u201d e biles njeri ma ka ndaluar rrugen e tij. Kishte thene \u201cNuk guxon ajo Katolike mu..t as te kaloj nga kjo ane\u201d. Tjetri me mallkon se pse s’me paska \u201cnxan\u201d hoxha per inati e me ma marr ftyren e \u201cpaftyre\u201d. Tjetri, qe i perket krahut te Kryetarit Sfarqa, thote se do te.<\/p>\n

Ishte me i gezuar po ate dite \u201cJo ve\u00e7 te me kishte goditur Dora Enverit, por edhe te me kishte mbytur krejt, normalisht pasi te me kishte bere nje video duke me palluar\u201d. Gjyshi plak, as nuk me shikon ne sy me, mendojeni, se me demek tash, une, jam \u201charami i shtepise\u201d e i prishet namazi i \u201cxhumase\u201d. Grate e mixhallareve me quajn lavire, ani pse njera eshte vet e tille. As mixhallareve qe vijne e ma lendojn te shtrenjten Nane (qe me dy duar e shkreta i ka rrit) ve\u00e7 pse s\u2019besoj si ta e kerkojne qe kurre te mos jem pjese e tyre. As hoxhollareve qe ndalin ne rruge tim baba, duke i thene fjalet me te pista e kercenuese qe nese une nje dite do vendos te kthehem atje.<\/p>\n

E shoh veten ne Kosove si ne Arabi, duke u gjuajtur me gur, rrahur, perpuzur, denuar, dhunuar, pergjakur, e mallkuar nga qe te gjithe, vec jo nga Nana ime. Dajallaret, nuk e di ende pse nuk me shkruajn, apo sigurisht e kane frike ndonje hoxhe faqezi si puna Shefqet Krasniqit, apo ndonje xhami katundi, ku ta di, a ndoshta edhe e mohojne se, une jam mbesa tyre. Eh, Nana ime, qe kush sja qeli deren a telefonin kurre per te pyetur per mua, se si jam a jam gjalle? Ve\u00e7 nje nane si imja, ka lindur Qendrese!
\nMe Kane vra bash me te afermit e mij, bash familja ime, bash njerzit e mi. Kur s\u2019kam vdekur nga ta, une, kurre ma nuk vdes! Por ta dini, edhe e vdekur, tash, jam e lumtur ketu\u2026 E kam te vetmin shpetim. Ameriken time. Engjullin tim mbrojtes\u2026<\/p>\n

Ketu, ne Amerike, jam si te gjini yet nane. Po sheroj plaget, dhimbjet, dhimbjet, merzitem, qaj, qeshi, gezohem, pajtohem, e mbi te gjitha, Nane, nga gjith\u00e7ka po mesoj. Jam ba plake e vjeter e trupi ri eshte ende!
\nO Nana ime, gezimi im, a e mban mend se te kam thene, une vec hatri yte, kurre, asnjehere, nuk dorzohem. Jam ba e fort gati sa ti o Nane. Mos harro Nane, kur je ti mire, une jam mrekulluesht mire e me mire\u2026<\/p>\n

Kosova, nga ana fes\u00eb ma ku\u2019jton Arabine dhe une duke\u00a0m\u00eb\u00a0djegur ne xhehnemin vale-vale e bash me fletet e librave te mija, qe flasin per \u201cDashurine e Femren\u201d, duke ma ndezur zjarrin\u2026 Gjersa nga ana e udheheqesve si puna Kryetarit Sfarqa, dhe dhunuesit tashme te njohur Ferizajas, Enverin Haliti, te cilet, padashje, ma kujtojne kohen e luftes, qe nje here i kam shpetuar, se dyti s\u2019mundem\u2026<\/p>\n

Keta jane Muslimanet e mij qe kane pranuar ta humbin nje vajze si Qendresa, per hater te fes e frikes se hoxhollareve, dhe mungeses se asaj ndjenjes tashme rrall te ndjere, asaj ndjenjes me emrin DASHURI!
\nDASHURI, pra, eshte feja ime!<\/p>\n

Po e permbyll me kete shprehje te mencur:
\n\u201cArtistit, nuk i duhet feja kur e ka artin<\/strong>\u201d<\/p>\n

7\/12\/2016
\nNew York, Amerike!<\/em><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Q\u00ebndres\u00eb Halili Familjes sime te gjere-ndjere\u2026! \u201cMe vjen keq se e keni humbur tashme Qendresen, ate vajzen e dashtun, familjare, besnike e \u201cfaqebardhen\u201d e shtepise. \u2013 si\u00e7 me thoshte gjithmone lokja e vjeter plake (qe e kam qiti jasht ketij rrethi te dhimbshem, r\u00ebnd\u00eb, e me plot prerje).\u201d Boll me qe dy vite kam pritur, […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[2,8],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-4426","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","category-artikuj","category-letersi"],"yoast_head":"\n\u201cJo. Nuk kam nderruar fe, por nuk jam as muslimane!\u201d - FJALA e LIR\u00cb<\/title>\n<meta name=\"robots\" content=\"index, follow, max-snippet:-1, max-image-preview:large, max-video-preview:-1\" \/>\n<link rel=\"canonical\" href=\"https:\/\/jehonashqiptare.al\/fjala\/jo-nuk-kam-nderruar-fe-por-nuk-jam-as-muslimane\/\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:locale\" content=\"en_US\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:type\" content=\"article\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:title\" content=\"\u201cJo. 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