{"id":49766,"date":"2020-01-13T21:32:54","date_gmt":"2020-01-13T20:32:54","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/fjala.info\/?p=49766"},"modified":"2020-01-13T21:37:52","modified_gmt":"2020-01-13T20:37:52","slug":"dita-celte-ngjyra-ngjyra","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/jehonashqiptare.al\/fjala\/dita-celte-ngjyra-ngjyra\/","title":{"rendered":"Dita \u00e7elte ngjyra – ngjyra"},"content":{"rendered":"

Fatmire Duraku<\/strong><\/p>\n

(Insert nga romani \u201cOra me qostek\u00eb\u201d<\/em>)<\/p>\n

– Gjurm\u00ebt n\u00eb r\u00ebr\u00eb humbin shpejt, – tha.
\n– Po, i sheh e pastaj vjen vala e i mbulon me r\u00ebr\u00eb…
\n– Ashtu. Ama di\u00e7ka mbetet prap\u00eb…
\n– Kujtimi, mendon ti.
\n– Jo, di\u00e7ka q\u00eb \u00ebsht\u00eb m\u00eb shum\u00eb se ai, kujtimi, q\u00eb thua.
\n– \u00c7far\u00eb.
\n– Shkrimi i nj\u00eb udhe t\u00eb re, q\u00eb nuk shihet por t\u00eb jeton n\u00eb zem\u00ebr…
\n– N\u00eb zem\u00ebr mbetet ajo q\u00eb ti do, – ia b\u00ebra.
\n– \u00cbsht\u00eb koh\u00eb e r\u00ebnd\u00eb, q\u00eb ta shijojm\u00eb, ta p\u00ebrjetojm\u00eb at\u00eb q\u00eb zemra e do.
\n– Nuk mendoj ashtu, – ia shikova syt\u00eb e kalt\u00ebr, – dashuri ndodhin dhe n\u00eb koh\u00eb t\u00eb r\u00ebnda, n\u00eb shkundullime t\u00eb tok\u00ebs, n\u00eb luft\u00ebra, n\u00eb or\u00eb e \u00e7aste q\u00eb e l\u00ebndojn\u00eb njeriun.
\n– Ama dashuria s` guxon t\u00eb ndiej dridhje.
\n– Pik\u00ebrisht ajo q\u00eb vjen me dridhje ngulitet dhe nuk del m\u00eb nga zemra…
\n– E kam menduar ndryshe, t\u00eb kristalt\u00eb, t\u00eb qet\u00eb q\u00eb vjen dhe t\u00eb rob\u00ebron me pafund\u00ebsin\u00eb e vet…
\n– Dashuri pa dridhje nuk ka. Dashuri pa dhembje nuk ka. Dashuri pa flijime nuk ka…
\n– Ti e thua at\u00eb q\u00eb e ka brenda vetes liria… – m\u00eb pa ai dhe ma l\u00ebshoi dor\u00ebn e mori t\u00eb vraponte. I hapte krah\u00ebt dhe vraponte. I lir\u00eb. Pa bombardime, pa fishk\u00ebllima plumbash, pa ethe lufte. Pa frik\u00eb nga armiku, q\u00eb e prisnim t\u00eb na dal\u00eb para kudo dhe t\u00eb na vras\u00eb, pa dallim qe grua, i moshuar, apo f\u00ebmij\u00eb. Ai, pa asnj\u00eb nga brengat q\u00eb bartnim n\u00eb vete lente gjurm\u00eb r\u00ebr\u00ebs e ikte, hapte krah\u00ebt dhe – ja, zot, p\u00ebrnj\u00ebher\u00eb m\u00eb humbi sysh. Ra n\u00eb uj\u00eb, apo fluturoi n\u00eb qiell? Ku mbet. Mora t\u00eb sillesha n\u00eb rreth. E shastisur. E mbushur frym\u00eb. Zgjasja duart andej, kot. Zgjasja duart k\u00ebndej, kot. Ku mbet? Ku humbi. Qaja dhe mbuloja fytyr\u00ebn me duar…
\n– Eda, Eda… mot\u00ebr, – m\u00eb preku n\u00eb ball\u00eb Tringa.
\nAjo prekje m\u00eb trembi. I \u00e7ela syt\u00eb dhe ndjeva leht\u00ebsim.
\n– Zot, – fola, – sa mir\u00eb \u00ebsht\u00eb t\u00eb besosh. T\u00eb ndihesh e lumtur.
\n– Pse t\u00ebr\u00eb ajo gj\u00ebm\u00eb, Eda. Pse t\u00ebr\u00eb ajo thirrje?
\n– Ti luan me mua, – ia b\u00ebra.
\n-Jo. Tashm\u00eb e kam t\u00eb qart\u00eb \u00e7far\u00eb \u00ebsht\u00eb…
\n– Thuaje. Pse hesht, – iu afrova dhe m\u00eb af\u00ebr, t\u00eb mos i l\u00ebm\u00eb hap\u00ebsir\u00eb t\u00eb ftohtit t\u00eb hyj\u00eb mes nesh. Ka ikur mesi i nat\u00ebs dhe b\u00ebn ftoht\u00eb.
\n– Ah, dashuri, ah… – m\u00eb ngacmoi ajo dhe iku n\u00eb \u00ebndrrat e veta. Natyrisht, si\u00e7 do t\u00eb b\u00ebj dhe un\u00eb, derisa t\u00eb m\u00eb mashtroj\u00eb gjumi…
\nDita \u00e7elte ngjyra – ngjyra. Aroma e beharit, e lules ndihej ngado. P\u00ebr nj\u00eb-dy, apo tri dit\u00eb do t\u00eb vij\u00eb prap\u00eb Iliri, si\u00e7 m\u00eb premtoi n\u00eb ndarje. T\u00eb na marr\u00eb dhe t\u00eb na shpien n\u00eb nj\u00eb vend t\u00eb sigurt. Me t\u00eb ndoshta vjen dhe babai, p\u00ebr t\u00eb cilin – si un\u00eb, ashtu dhe Tringa, brengoseshim me t\u00eb madhe.
\n– Ku mund t\u00eb jet\u00eb ai kaq dit\u00eb?
\n– Ndoshta ka hasur n\u00eb prit\u00eb…
\n– Mund t\u00eb jet\u00eb ta ken\u00eb vrar\u00eb apo rob\u00ebruar?
\nHije e r\u00ebnd\u00eb pik\u00ebllimi shtrihej gjithher\u00eb e m\u00eb e thell\u00eb n\u00eb fytyr\u00ebn e shpirtin tim e t\u00eb motr\u00ebs. As gruaja e moshuar, p\u00ebr asnj\u00eb \u00e7ast, nuk q\u00ebndronte jasht\u00eb breng\u00ebs son\u00eb. Ikte z\u00ebsh\u00ebm dhe me shqet\u00ebsim dhembjes q\u00eb e p\u00ebrjetonim. Te secili ndihej l\u00ebvizje e \u00e7uditshme q\u00eb e vriste qet\u00ebsin\u00eb, e rriste frik\u00ebn p\u00ebr dit\u00ebn e ardhshme. Un\u00eb e Tringa or\u00ebt e ikura k\u00ebtu mund t`i matshim me vite. Koha thua qe ndalur p\u00ebr rrjedha t\u00eb lumtura. P\u00ebrve\u00e7 shqet\u00ebsimit q\u00eb ndienim p\u00ebr fatin e babait, p\u00ebrjetonim pesh\u00eb t\u00eb r\u00ebnd\u00eb t\u00eb breng\u00ebs edhe p\u00ebr vete.
\n– Si do t`ia b\u00ebnim vet\u00ebm, pa ask\u00ebnd t\u00eb af\u00ebrm pran\u00eb.
\nN\u00eb brendin\u00eb e xhamis\u00eb krijohej atmosfer\u00eb e zymt\u00eb, gjithnj\u00eb e m\u00eb e dhimbshme. Qanin f\u00ebmij\u00ebt, qanin n\u00ebnat, qanin t\u00eb moshuarit… Kolliteshin t\u00eb s\u00ebmur\u00ebt, p\u00ebshtynin. Mund t\u00eb shfaqej ndonj\u00eb epidemi dhe t\u00eb na shpinte n\u00eb varr para arritjes s\u00eb dor\u00ebs s\u00eb zez\u00eb-vrastare serbe. Plakat i luteshin zotit ose t`ua merrte shpirtin ose t`iu gjente udh\u00eb shp\u00ebtimi, ta jetonin ndopak jet\u00ebn. T\u00eb ballafaquar me pafuqin\u00eb e vet, ata q\u00eb frymonin n\u00eb xhami, aty apo k\u00ebtu apo atje, dit\u00eb m\u00eb par\u00eb qen\u00eb k\u00ebputur nga kolonat q\u00eb ecnin p\u00ebr n\u00eb tok\u00ebn e shtetit am\u00eb. Disa nga ata, tashm\u00eb – t\u00eb rraskapitur, prisnin n\u00eb xhami \u00e7far\u00eb do t\u00eb sjell\u00eb e nes\u00ebrmja. T\u00eb uritur, ndonj\u00ebher\u00eb dhe t\u00eb etur, t\u00eb s\u00ebmur\u00eb, me dhembje t\u00eb vjetra e t\u00eb reja, prisnin… her\u00eb me shpres\u00eb, her\u00eb pa t\u00eb, fare. As ne, as ata, nuk qem\u00eb t\u00eb gatsh\u00ebm t\u00eb k\u00ebputeshin dot nga toka dhe qielli yn\u00eb e t\u00eb ikim diku larg, n\u00eb ndonj\u00eb tok\u00eb t\u00eb huaj pa rr\u00ebnj\u00ebt dhe ngjyr\u00ebn e dheut, p\u00ebr t\u00eb cilin secili ndien gatishm\u00ebri t\u00eb flijohet. Ve\u00e7se… pak kush, apo askush, qe i gatsh\u00ebm ta b\u00ebj k\u00ebt\u00eb. – Ajo b\u00ebhet po t\u00eb jesh i bindur se flijimi yt ka em\u00ebr, ka mbiem\u00ebr, ka kuptim dhe natyrisht jep fryt. Ndokush e heton dhe \u00ebsht\u00eb i bindur n\u00eb k\u00ebt\u00eb, por tjetri mendon ndryshe dhe ndryshe ec\u00ebn. N\u00eb k\u00ebt\u00eb m\u00ebnyr\u00eb ndoshta ikjen e vet nuk do ta ken\u00eb par\u00eb ata q\u00eb zgjatnin kolonat dhe ecnin nga i shpinin k\u00ebmb\u00ebt, nga iu shihnin syt\u00eb…
\nJa pse, asnj\u00eb njeri nuk \u00ebsht\u00eb i ngjash\u00ebm me tjetrin.
\nJa pse, secili mendon me kok\u00ebn e vet dhe secili e ndien n\u00eb m\u00ebnyr\u00ebn e vet dhembjen apo k\u00ebnaq\u00ebsin\u00eb.
\nJa pse, b\u00ebhen luft\u00ebrat, tmerret…
\nPa e p\u00ebrjetuar asnj\u00ebher\u00eb drit\u00ebn e bukur t\u00eb dit\u00ebs s\u00eb re, pa e p\u00ebrjetuar asnj\u00ebher\u00eb qiellin e kuq\u00ebrremt\u00eb t\u00eb mbr\u00ebmjeve. Koha rridhte jasht\u00eb dhe brenda secilit shpirt krejt zbraz\u00ebt, krejt pa gjak, do t\u00eb thosha. Un\u00eb e motra, vjedhurazi nga nj\u00ebra – tjetra dhe nj\u00ebjt\u00eb – vjedhurazi edhe nga vetvetja, her\u00eb – her\u00eb p\u00ebrkujtonim nga di\u00e7ka t\u00eb bukur, tashm\u00eb kaq t\u00eb ikur dhe t\u00ebr\u00ebsisht t\u00eb pakthyeshme.
\n– Sidoqoft\u00eb, – thoshte ndonj\u00ebri me z\u00eb, – jeta nuk guxon ta humb kuptimin. Natyrisht, as rrjedh\u00ebn.
\nK\u00ebshtu dhe qe, nj\u00ebmend. P\u00ebr kaq koh\u00eb, sa njer\u00ebzit – hije, burra t\u00eb moshuar, gra t\u00eb s\u00ebmura, f\u00ebmij\u00eb n\u00eb d\u00ebnesje, shtatz\u00ebna n\u00eb gj\u00ebm\u00eb… t\u00eb cil\u00ebt, frymonin n\u00eb hap\u00ebsir\u00ebn e xhamis\u00eb, \u00e7udit\u00ebrisht ia arrinin t\u00eb mblidhnin vete, t\u00eb mbeteshin n\u00eb unin e vet, t\u00eb krijonin nj\u00eb rrjedh\u00eb t\u00eb caktuar t\u00eb s\u00eb p\u00ebrditshmes aty, t\u00eb dit\u00ebs apo t\u00eb nat\u00ebs, t\u00eb koh\u00ebs s\u00eb r\u00ebnduar nga terri dhe m\u00ebrzia e shpirtit t\u00eb tyre. – Dit\u00ebn e par\u00eb t\u00eb arritjes sime dhe t\u00eb motr\u00ebs k\u00ebtu, – do t\u00eb sh\u00ebnoja n\u00eb fletoren time, q\u00eb e mbaja n\u00eb valixhe, – nj\u00eb grua lindi me v\u00ebshtir\u00ebsi t\u00eb madhe. Vet\u00ebm sa nuk vdiq nga gjakderdhja e tmerrshme, q\u00eb i shprehte me klithje tmerruese. Grat\u00eb, ato m\u00eb t\u00eb moshuara – me p\u00ebrvoj\u00eb, n\u00eb pakushte \u00e7far\u00eb qen\u00eb aty, ia dol\u00ebn me sakrifica ta shp\u00ebtonin edhe gruan, edhe foshnj\u00ebn…
\nVet\u00ebm nj\u00eb dit\u00eb m\u00eb von\u00eb, p\u00ebrjetuam edhe vdekjen e par\u00eb n\u00eb hap\u00ebsir\u00ebn me aj\u00ebr t\u00eb z\u00ebn\u00eb t\u00eb xhamis\u00eb.
\n– Jo, jo, – ra nj\u00eb klithje papritur nga mesi i xhamis\u00eb. Brof\u00ebm t\u00eb trembur.
\n– \u00c7far\u00eb ndodhi, – pyeti dikush nga fundi.
\n– Oh, zot. Oh… – d\u00ebgjoheshin gj\u00ebma dhe shprehje t\u00eb thella t\u00eb dhembjes.
\n– \u00c7far\u00eb u b\u00eb, – tha dikush prap\u00eb.
\n– Vdiq nj\u00eb plak… – d\u00ebgjova nj\u00eb z\u00eb tjet\u00ebr.
\n– Ta nxjerrin jasht\u00eb xhamis\u00eb, – propozoi nj\u00eb i tret\u00eb.
\n– Po, po… duhet t\u00eb nxirret sa m\u00eb par\u00eb nga k\u00ebtu. T\u00eb mos frik\u00ebsohen njer\u00ebzit. Ka k\u00ebtu kaq gra e f\u00ebmij\u00eb…
\nMotra m\u00eb ra n\u00eb parz\u00ebm. Qante dhe dridhej.
\n– \u00c7far\u00eb na gjet, mot\u00ebr, – psher\u00ebtinte.
\n– \u00c7far\u00eb ke, – ia b\u00ebra. – Nj\u00eb vdekje… asgj\u00eb m\u00eb shum\u00eb – ia l\u00ebmoja flok\u00ebt, nd\u00ebrsa v\u00ebrejta nga e nxor\u00ebn t\u00eb vdekurin nga brend\u00ebsia e xhamis\u00eb, ku erreshim e zgjoheshim n\u00eb ag me kaq shum\u00eb shpirtra t\u00eb pafuqish\u00ebm, por nj\u00ebkoh\u00ebsisht dhe t\u00eb paepur…
\nPlakun e ngreh\u00ebn lart, dor\u00eb m\u00eb dor\u00eb e bart\u00ebn dhe e nxor\u00ebn jasht\u00eb xhamis\u00eb. P\u00ebr her\u00eb t\u00eb par\u00eb kisha harruar se duhet ndier\u00eb dhembje p\u00ebr k\u00ebt\u00eb apo at\u00eb gj\u00eb, sidomos p\u00ebr t\u00eb vdekurit. Isha b\u00ebr\u00eb nj\u00eb me gurin. Dol\u00ebm – kokulur, nj\u00eb nga nj\u00eb nga xhamia dhe krijuam gjysm\u00eb rreth para t\u00eb vdekurit. Disa qanin, disa mallkonin fatin…
\n– Merre me mend, – shfrynte nj\u00eb plak tjet\u00ebr. – Kaq vjet eci k\u00ebt\u00eb tok\u00eb me \u00ebndrr\u00ebn p\u00ebr lirin\u00eb dhe tash ik, kaq i vet\u00ebm, pa ritin e duhur…
\n– Kush do ta varros\u00eb, – u d\u00ebgjua nj\u00eb z\u00eb i mbytur.
\n– Dy apo tre vet\u00eb. Nuk ka kush…- nd\u00ebrhyri nj\u00eb grua.
\n– Burrat… s`kan\u00eb q\u00eblluar af\u00ebr, loke, prandaj – ja, do t\u00eb shkoj\u00eb kaq thjesht\u00eb.
\nAskush nuk foli m\u00eb. E shikuam nga e bartin tre kat\u00ebr vet\u00eb n\u00eb dy d\u00ebrrasa, t\u00eb mb\u00ebshtjell\u00eb me nj\u00eb beze, q\u00eb – p\u00ebr \u00e7udi, u gjet te dikush. E bart\u00ebn ashtu deri n\u00eb shpatull t\u00eb kodr\u00ebs, ku e l\u00ebshuan. Pak m\u00eb von\u00eb i d\u00ebgjonim vet\u00ebm kazmat nga i binin tok\u00ebs dhe jehon\u00ebn e hedhjes s\u00eb dheut n\u00eb nj\u00ebr\u00ebn an\u00eb t\u00eb grop\u00ebs s\u00eb hapur. Nd\u00ebrkoh\u00eb i soll\u00ebn dhe disa d\u00ebrrasa nga diku.
\n– Ku i gjet\u00ebn d\u00ebrrasat, – pyeti dikush.
\n– D\u00ebrrasa t\u00eb nj\u00eb dere t\u00eb nj\u00eb sht\u00ebpie… – tha nj\u00eb plak\u00eb.
\n-Po mir\u00eb q\u00eb i kan\u00eb gjetur, – nd\u00ebrhyri nj\u00eb tjet\u00ebr. Qielli digjej n\u00eb per\u00ebndim. Hijet n\u00eb kod\u00ebr shiheshin ende rreth varrin, prej nga d\u00ebgjoheshin ende jehona t\u00eb mbytura t\u00eb hedhjes s\u00eb dheut mbi t\u00eb vdekurin…
\n– T\u00eb hyjm\u00eb brenda, – m\u00eb mori p\u00ebr dore Tringa. – T\u00eb harrojm\u00eb.
\n– Harresa nuk ekziston, – ia b\u00ebra dhe m\u00eb kaploi nj\u00eb ndjenj\u00eb e \u00e7uditshme, nj\u00eb dhembje kaq e r\u00ebnd\u00eb, sa m\u00eb vinte t\u00eb vjell\u00eb… Tringa, vet\u00ebtimthi, ma l\u00ebshoi dor\u00ebn e iku prapa xhamis\u00eb, p\u00ebrtej gardhit t\u00eb vjet\u00ebr.
\n– Ka dhe kjo dhembje barku, – mendova dhe mora t\u00eb ecja nga gardhi.
\n– Kam heqje barku, – tha ajo.
\n– Natyrisht, – ia b\u00ebra. – Ham\u00eb \u00e7do gj\u00eb dhe me \u00e7do k\u00eb, natyrisht, – p\u00ebshp\u00ebrita m\u00eb vete dhe ndjeva prerje barku edhe un\u00eb.
\nH\u00ebna e zbeht\u00eb ndriste varrin e ri mbi kod\u00ebr, ku ende shiheshin kat\u00ebr-pes\u00eb silueta nga l\u00ebviznin p\u00ebrreth, her\u00eb-her\u00eb t\u00eb k\u00ebputura p\u00ebrmes nga terri, her\u00eb – her\u00eb t\u00eb ndara nga vetja n\u00ebn drit\u00ebn e verdh\u00eb. Binte arom\u00eb e dheut t\u00eb fresk\u00ebt n\u00eb aj\u00ebr.
\nPamje t\u00eb nj\u00ebtrajtshme.
\nN\u00eb \u00e7do pore hetohej zgjimi; aroma e tok\u00ebs, e barit, e lules, e gemit n\u00eb pem\u00eb. P\u00ebr t\u00eb par\u00ebn her\u00eb nuk iknin paralel \u00ebndrrat me realitetin, ndjenjat e tradhtonin veten. Ajo q\u00eb rridhte natyrsh\u00ebm n\u00eb natyr\u00eb dhe koh\u00eb, brenda nesh hynte e pa gjak, gjysm\u00eb e vdekur, n\u00eb ethe. Kjo, p\u00ebr mua, paraqiste di\u00e7ka tep\u00ebr t\u00eb habitshme, t\u00eb panjohur, t\u00eb \u00e7uditshme.
\nAroma p\u00ebrjetohej me afsh krejt tjet\u00ebr.
\nP\u00ebrjetohej nd\u00ebrmjet er\u00ebs s\u00eb ngroht\u00eb t\u00eb dheut dhe avullit, afshit q\u00eb l\u00ebshonte dheu. Zgjoheshim pa ndonj\u00eb p\u00ebrshtypje t\u00eb dit\u00ebs s\u00eb re. E vetmja gj\u00eb q\u00eb e thyente me dhembje ndopak t\u00eb nj\u00ebjt\u00ebn pamje t\u00eb nj\u00ebtrajtshme t\u00eb zgjimit – dit\u00eb me radh\u00eb n\u00eb k\u00ebt\u00eb hap\u00ebsir\u00eb, qe dheu i fresk\u00ebt q\u00eb shihej mbi t\u00eb varrosurin p\u00ebr drit\u00eb t\u00eb h\u00ebn\u00ebs, pak or\u00eb m\u00eb par\u00eb. \u00c7do gj\u00eb qe b\u00ebr\u00eb nj\u00ebtrajtshm\u00ebri e – kjo, pra, t\u00eb qen\u00ebt nj\u00eblloj -gjithnj\u00eb me t\u00eb nj\u00ebjtat veti n\u00eb t\u00eb gjitha pjes\u00ebt p\u00ebrb\u00ebr\u00ebse, pa as t\u00eb vetmin ndryshim qoft\u00eb jasht\u00eb apo brenda shpirtit, shkaktonte shungullima t\u00eb tmerrshme dhe t\u00eb r\u00ebnda, \u00e7arje t\u00eb thella n\u00eb \u00ebndrrat dhe shpres\u00ebn, e cila k\u00ebshtu pak nga pak vdiste. T\u00eb qen\u00ebt n\u00eb veten e vet \u00e7do gj\u00eb e nj\u00ebtrajtsh\u00ebm; t\u00eb qen\u00ebt pa ndryshime, tashm\u00eb edhe ngash\u00ebrimin qoft\u00eb, apo pik\u00ebllimin e dhembjen, n\u00eb qenien e secilit, e b\u00ebnin mozaik prej akulli, me nuanca po ashtu t\u00eb ftohta dhe pa ndonj\u00eb pesh\u00eb. Nj\u00ebtrajtshm\u00ebri qe b\u00ebr\u00eb secila gj\u00eb q\u00eb shikoje, \u00e7do pjes\u00eb e tok\u00ebs, secila pem\u00eb dhe cop\u00eb e udh\u00ebs.
\nNj\u00ebtrajtshm\u00ebri b\u00ebhej dhe shikimi n\u00eb yllin q\u00eb besoje. Nj\u00ebtrajtshm\u00ebri qe b\u00ebr\u00eb dhe zhg\u00ebnjimi dhe pritja t\u00eb ngjante di\u00e7ka, e cila do ta mundte k\u00ebt\u00eb amulli, k\u00ebt\u00eb vdekje t\u00eb gjall\u00eb, q\u00eb ecte, sillej rreth, e \u00e7do \u00e7ast, pa befasi, e merrte p\u00ebrgjithmon\u00eb ndok\u00ebnd nga mesi yn\u00eb. Nj\u00ebtrajtshm\u00ebri qe b\u00ebr\u00eb \u00ebndrra, ngarkesa me matje e \u00e7matje t\u00eb kota, me mendime, t\u00eb cilat gjithher\u00eb t\u00eb sillnin te i nj\u00ebjti cak, te varri q\u00eb t\u00eb priste. Nj\u00ebtrajtshm\u00ebris\u00eb i ngjante realja dhe irealja, pritja tejet e pashpres\u00eb, hija q\u00eb ndahej nga ti dhe merrte udh\u00eb t\u00eb larg\u00ebta, l\u00ebvizte, l\u00ebvizte, l\u00ebvizte e prap\u00eb kthehej aty ku t\u00eb dhembte dhe qaje e nuk t\u00eb ishte shum\u00eb e qart\u00eb pse e b\u00ebje k\u00ebt\u00eb. Me lot – natyrisht, ishe e vet\u00ebdijshme, nuk l\u00ebvizin gj\u00ebrat nga vendi, por – ja, edhe kjo qe b\u00ebr\u00eb rit, pjes\u00eb e nj\u00ebtrajtshme e rrjedh\u00ebs, e p\u00ebrgatitjes p\u00ebr gjum\u00eb, e zgjimit nga gjumi, e ndarjes s\u00eb ndonj\u00eb cope t\u00eb buk\u00ebs me syt\u00eb q\u00eb ishin zgurdulluar n\u00eb t\u00eb, kaq t\u00eb uritur dhe t\u00eb humbur. Nj\u00ebtrajtshm\u00ebri qe sidomos ngjashm\u00ebria me at\u00eb q\u00eb e urreje, apo me at\u00eb q\u00eb e dashuroje, me at\u00eb q\u00eb e prisje t\u00eb vinte, e nuk vinte, me at\u00eb q\u00eb ta donte zemra dhe q\u00eb kaq pakuptim mungonte. Asgj\u00eb nuk nd\u00ebrronte, ngase mungonte shpirti i l\u00ebvizjes, ngase nuk ngjante p\u00ebr as t\u00eb vetmin \u00e7ast, harrimi. Harrimi mungonte. Harrimi…
\n– Harrimi, – do ta flisja me t`i hapur syt\u00eb. – Harrimi…
\n– \u00c7far\u00eb ke, – m\u00eb kumboi n\u00eb vesh z\u00ebri i Tringa, – je \u00e7mendur. Cili harrim, e dashur. Duhet ta bind\u00ebsh veten nj\u00ebher\u00eb dhe gjithher\u00eb se harrimi nuk ekziston.
\n– Natyrisht, – psher\u00ebtiva m\u00eb vete. – Natyrisht…
\nM\u00eb pastaj ika shikimin n\u00eb kod\u00ebr, te dheu ende i fresk\u00ebt mbi varrin e plakut t\u00eb varrosur pak or\u00eb m\u00eb par\u00eb, n\u00eb or\u00ebt e fundit t\u00eb dit\u00ebs s\u00eb ikur.
\n– Ik prap\u00eb prej vetes, – m\u00eb pa Tringa.
\n– Jo, – ia b\u00ebra. – Jo. Po mendoja. Mendja m\u00eb ik…
\n– \u00c7far\u00eb, – m\u00eb nd\u00ebrpreu.
\n– Mendja m\u00eb ik pand\u00ebrprer\u00eb te vonesa e babait. Pse nuk erdhi ende ai.
\n– Vjen, – tha. – Vjen…
\n– Gjith\u00eb kjo vones\u00eb… – desha t\u00eb vazhdoja t\u00eb qaja hallin.
\n– Ama, – m\u00eb nd\u00ebrpreu ajo, – ty ndoshta t\u00eb dhemb m\u00eb tep\u00ebr Iliri.
\n– Oh, – ia b\u00ebra dhe ula kok\u00ebn, e habitur me t\u00eb. Pse b\u00ebn k\u00ebshtu… Sa e tmerrshme \u00ebsht\u00eb b\u00ebr\u00eb, e pashpirt… E ka humbur \u00e7do ndjenj\u00eb t\u00eb qenies s\u00eb cil\u00ebs i takon, e ka humbur veten dhe prejardhjen e vetes… \u00ebsht\u00eb b\u00ebr\u00eb nj\u00eb me kok\u00ebn q\u00eb – natyrisht, ndien, por e thot\u00eb ndryshe nga duhet ta them un\u00eb, apo Tringa. T\u00eb tregoj\u00eb ku dhe pse i dhemb. Sekretet e mbysin shpirtin.
\n– \u00c7do gj\u00eb ngjan n\u00eb pezhishk\u00eb, Ed\u00eb. – Ja, – m\u00eb shikoi me dhembshuri. – As e kupton k\u00ebnd, as t\u00eb kupton ai ty.
\n– Nj\u00ebmend ashtu… – l\u00ebviza kok\u00ebn kot. – Asgj\u00eb nuk ka pesh\u00eb, asgj\u00eb s`paraqet tjet\u00ebr ve\u00e7 zbraz\u00ebsis\u00eb s\u00eb l\u00ebvizjes s\u00eb \u00ebndrr\u00ebs… As vdekja s`e thyente rrjedh\u00ebn e ftoht\u00eb, t\u00eb pa ndjenj\u00eb t\u00eb secil\u00ebs gj\u00eb rreth nesh. T\u00eb foli kush apo nuk t\u00eb foli kush qe b\u00ebr\u00eb e par\u00ebnd\u00ebsishme. Secila gj\u00eb niste e mbyllej, – si do ta shp\u00ebtojm\u00eb kok\u00ebn?
\nGjat\u00eb gjith\u00eb koh\u00ebs ecje mes tingujsh t\u00eb nj\u00ebjt\u00eb, mes sysh t\u00eb nj\u00ebjt\u00eb, nj\u00ebtrajtsh\u00ebm… me etjen dhe urin\u00eb, q\u00eb nuk nd\u00ebrronte. Nuk mund ta p\u00ebrpije as nj\u00eb pik\u00eb uji, asnj\u00eb th\u00ebrrime buk\u00eb, pa t\u00eb ndjekur syri i zgurdulluar i tjetrit, pa t\u00eb shpuar me urin\u00eb e etjen e vet… E futa fshehtas n\u00eb dor\u00eb nj\u00eb cop\u00eb t\u00eb vog\u00ebl t\u00eb buk\u00ebs dhe dola jasht\u00eb xhamis\u00eb, ta ha. Zot, ku ta ha at\u00eb grimc\u00eb buke pa m\u00eb par\u00eb ndokush i uritur?! Eca pak rreth. Ndala te guri ku kryhen ceremonit\u00eb p\u00ebr t\u00eb vdekurit, para se t`i nisin n\u00eb banes\u00ebn e fundit-n\u00eb varre. M\u00eb kapi nj\u00eb koll\u00eb e that\u00eb, m`u zgjua nj\u00eb turbullir\u00eb dhe isha shum\u00eb af\u00ebr t\u00eb villja. Eca duke u luhatur; t\u00eb rr\u00ebzohesha p\u00ebr tok\u00eb apo t\u00eb mblidhja veten e t\u00eb ecja pak nga pak rreth. Me pesh\u00eb t\u00eb zymt\u00eb e t\u00eb r\u00ebnd\u00eb brenda vetes, me sy gati-gati t\u00eb mbytur n\u00eb err\u00ebsir\u00eb, e shikova nj\u00ebjt\u00eb si t\u00eb qe n\u00eb \u00ebnd\u00ebrr t\u00eb paqart\u00eb varrin e plakut, i cili e kishte nd\u00ebrruar t\u00ebr\u00ebsisht pamjen n\u00eb maje t\u00eb kodr\u00ebs. \u2013 Ja, sa nuk qe sa \u00ebsht\u00eb. Kaq shpejt dhe papritur nd\u00ebrrojn\u00eb gj\u00ebrat dhe pamjet., – m\u00eb iku ndjenj\u00eb e ftoht\u00eb vetes. L\u00ebviza pak para, eca, t\u00eb mos m\u00eb hetonte ndokush \u00e7far\u00eb ndodhte n\u00eb mua e me mua. Ngrir\u00eb, mora t\u00eb ngjitja te maja e kodr\u00ebs, te varri i plakut, me dheun ende t\u00eb fresk\u00ebt. E shikoja varrin dhe e kafshoja buk\u00ebn. Nj\u00ebjt\u00eb si\u00e7 do t\u00eb b\u00ebnte ndonj\u00eb i krisur q\u00eb ka humbur ur\u00ebn me veten dhe me \u00e7do gj\u00eb q\u00eb e lidh me rrethin, me tradit\u00ebn, me t\u00eb ikur\u00ebn… e \u2013 k\u00ebshtu, e b\u00ebn t\u00eb harroj\u00eb kush \u00ebsht\u00eb, e b\u00ebn t\u00ebr\u00ebsisht t\u00eb frenuar. N\u00eb afshin e pashpjeguar t\u00eb kafshimit t\u00eb cop\u00ebs s\u00eb vog\u00ebl t\u00eb buk\u00ebs, o zot, kisha dashur t`i ha dhe gishtat e mi dhe ata tashm\u00eb rridhnin gjak. Asgj\u00eb nuk ndjeja t\u00eb \u00e7uditshme, as nuk m\u00eb kujtohet \u00e7far\u00eb do t\u00eb ket\u00eb ndodhur vet\u00ebm pak \u00e7aste m\u00eb par\u00eb. T\u00eb nj\u00ebjt\u00eb e ndjeja vet\u00ebm shfrenimin… Syt\u00eb, t\u00eb zgurdulluar, prisja t\u00eb p\u00eblcitnin dhe t\u00eb shp\u00ebrndaheshin qiellit t\u00eb larg\u00ebt, t\u00eb ftoht\u00eb dhe t\u00eb vetmuar. Prisja, nj\u00ebjt\u00eb, nga brendia e vetes t`i nxirrja jasht\u00eb, t`i villja me mllef t\u00eb gjitha organet q\u00eb ende e mbanin shpirtin dhe trupin tim n\u00eb drejtpeshim. E shikoja varrin para vetes dhe ende me eg\u00ebrsi e kafshoja buk\u00ebn, n\u00eb p\u00ebrpjekje ta kap\u00ebrdija p\u00ebrnj\u00ebher\u00eb. E t\u00ebra nga nj\u00eb ndjenj\u00eb, q\u00eb m\u00eb vinte aty p\u00ebr aty, ta fusja n\u00eb goj\u00eb nj\u00eb cop\u00eb buke pa m\u00eb par\u00eb askush, pa m\u00eb shikuar me sy t\u00eb nxjerr jasht\u00eb n\u00eb etje dhe uri t\u00eb tmerrshme.
\n– Kthehu, Eda. Zbrit… \u00c7` b\u00ebn atje? \u2013 d\u00ebgjova nj\u00eb z\u00eb q\u00eb p\u00ebrplasej mbi mua nga rr\u00ebza e kodr\u00ebs.
\n– Kush do t\u00eb mund t\u00eb jet\u00eb, – mendova, – kujt i dhimbsem kaq shum\u00eb?
\n– Zbrit… Mund t\u00eb t\u00eb vrasin menj\u00ebher\u00eb…
\n– Le t\u00eb m\u00eb vrasin, le t\u00eb m\u00eb vrasin, – iu p\u00ebrgjigja z\u00ebrit, q\u00eb m\u00eb vinte nga larg, krejt i huaj, i ftoht\u00eb dhe pa fije afrie. \u2013 Le t\u00eb m\u00eb vrasin… k\u00ebt\u00eb dua un\u00eb, k\u00ebt\u00eb dua un\u00eb… Ula kok\u00ebn, nj\u00ebmend e bindur n\u00eb at\u00eb \u00e7far\u00eb thosha. \u2013 Le t\u00eb m\u00eb vrasin, – mendoja, – tjet\u00ebr \u00e7far\u00eb mund t\u00eb b\u00ebjn\u00eb nga larg. Asgj\u00eb tjet\u00ebr nuk mund t\u00eb b\u00ebjn\u00eb nga larg. Pik\u00ebrisht k\u00ebshtu doja t\u00eb m\u00eb vrasin… pa i par\u00eb fare kurr\u00eb ato krijesa t\u00eb mjera, t\u00eb zbritura nga jasht\u00eb planetit tim. Le t\u00eb m\u00eb vrasin. Vdekja nga larg \u00ebsht\u00eb e bukur. D\u00ebgjohet nj\u00eb e sht\u00ebn\u00eb, ngjet pa krism\u00eb apo me krism\u00eb vet\u00ebm n\u00eb jehon\u00eb… e ti bie pa frym\u00eb, bie n\u00eb kok\u00ebrr t\u00eb shpin\u00ebs, me sy n\u00eb qiellin e pafund, me sy n\u00eb yllin, t\u00eb cilin kaq her\u00eb duke e shikuar e ke thurur \u00ebndrr\u00ebn m\u00eb t\u00eb bukur t\u00eb jet\u00ebs. K\u00ebshtu, pra, – e d\u00ebgjova veten t\u00eb psher\u00ebtija, – le t\u00eb m\u00eb vrasin. \u00cbsht\u00eb m\u00eb mir\u00eb t\u00eb vdes. T\u00eb vdes, natyrisht, larg nga hija e tyre, nga era e tyre q\u00eb kund\u00ebrmon, q\u00eb t\u00eb b\u00ebn t\u00eb vjell\u00ebsh, t\u00eb nxjerr\u00ebsh jasht\u00eb zem\u00ebr e mushk\u00ebri… Vdes nga plumbi, pra, pa iu afruar rasti atyre q\u00eb t\u00eb t\u00eb prekin me duart e tyre t\u00eb ndyra, t\u00eb ndyra me gjak, pa iu afruar mund\u00ebsin\u00eb t\u00eb t\u00eb afrohen aspak, t\u00eb t\u00eb puthin apo kafshojn\u00eb, t\u00eb t\u00eb keqtrajtojn\u00eb, t\u00eb t\u00eb p\u00ebrdhunojn\u00eb…
\n– Zbrit menj\u00ebher\u00eb posht\u00eb. Mund t\u00eb t\u00eb shohin dhe menj\u00ebher\u00eb t\u00eb vrasin…
\nD\u00ebgjova prap\u00eb z\u00ebrin e nj\u00ebjt\u00eb nga rr\u00ebza e kodr\u00ebs.
\n– Jo, jo… \u2013 u p\u00ebrgjigja me z\u00eb. \u2013 Nuk m\u00eb vrasin ashtu – nga larg, nuk m\u00eb vrasin. Ashtu nuk ndiejn\u00eb asgj\u00eb, nuk e zgjojn\u00eb k\u00ebnaq\u00ebsin\u00eb e tyre t\u00eb ndyr\u00eb, nuk e jetojn\u00eb at\u00eb tmerr k\u00ebnaq\u00ebsie aspak! Le t\u00eb m\u00eb vrasin, fundja, pse jo, – ia b\u00ebra m\u00eb vete, pa ndier\u00eb asgj\u00eb lidhur me vrasjen, me vdekjen. Nuk frik\u00ebsohesha nga asgj\u00eb m\u00eb. \u00c7do gj\u00eb qe b\u00ebr\u00eb e nj\u00ebjt\u00eb \u2013 e ftoht\u00eb dhe e pakuptimt\u00eb. Rr\u00ebfimet p\u00ebr k\u00ebt\u00eb apo at\u00eb vrasje, p\u00ebr k\u00ebt\u00eb apo at\u00eb masak\u00ebr, p\u00ebr rrezikun q\u00eb hapte goj\u00ebn n\u00eb \u00e7do \u00e7ast t\u00eb na p\u00ebrpinte, t\u00eb na zhdukte nga faqja e dheut, nuk m\u00eb vinin m\u00eb me ethe, nuk m\u00eb vinin me dridhje as zjarrmi, nuk m\u00eb tronditnin dot. Syt\u00eb m\u00eb ik\u00ebn prap\u00eb mbi dheun e fresk\u00ebt t\u00eb varrit. Ja, m\u00eb iku kok\u00ebs, k\u00ebtu \u2013 n\u00eb k\u00ebt\u00eb pik\u00eb t\u00eb \u00e7uditshme, t\u00eb mos ngrirjes e as t\u00eb mos ndezjes p\u00ebr asgj\u00eb, do t\u00eb ket\u00eb arritur edhe plaku, t\u00eb cilin e varros\u00ebn gjysm\u00eb dite m\u00eb par\u00eb-nat\u00ebn, p\u00ebr t\u00eb mos u hetuar nga pushka e p\u00ebrhershme e serbit e zgjatur nga ne. Plaku, as q\u00eb paska dashur t\u00eb l\u00ebshoj\u00eb sht\u00ebpin\u00eb. \u201cKam kaluar tashm\u00eb n\u00eb pritje t\u00eb vdes, – paska th\u00ebn\u00eb ai, – … e \u2013 nuk m\u00eb ka hije t\u00eb ik nga sht\u00ebpia, t\u00eb vdes diku n\u00eb male, i pafuqish\u00ebm t`ia kthej atij q\u00eb e k\u00ebrkon gryk\u00ebn e pushk\u00ebs. Ashtu dhe k\u00ebshtu nuk e kam ask\u00ebnd, p\u00ebrve\u00e7 gurit t\u00eb vatr\u00ebs, unakut, p\u00ebrve\u00e7 \u00ebndrr\u00ebs q\u00eb \u2013 k\u00ebtu, n\u00eb Kosov\u00ebn q\u00eb ec\u00eb n\u00ebp\u00ebr palc\u00ebn e ashtit t\u00eb secilit, t\u00eb \u00e7el\u00eb pranvera, liria, nj\u00eb her\u00eb e p\u00ebrgjithmon\u00eb. Kjo q\u00eb un\u00eb \u00ebnd\u00ebrroj mund t\u00eb arrihet, por kurr\u00eb pa gjak, pa shum\u00eb gjak\u201d, ka th\u00ebn\u00eb plaku, i vendosur t\u00eb mos e kap\u00ebrcej\u00eb pragun e t\u00eb ik\u00eb. Nuk e ka d\u00ebgjuar askush nga fqinj\u00ebt. As kan\u00eb dashur ta d\u00ebgjojn\u00eb. E kan\u00eb rr\u00ebmbyer p\u00ebr krah\u00ebsh, e kan\u00eb ulur n\u00eb nj\u00eb karro dore dhe me t\u00eb bashk\u00eb kan\u00eb z\u00ebn\u00eb t`i ndjekin udh\u00ebt… Ja, gjithnj\u00eb-deri k\u00ebtu, te kjo xhami, ku mes kaq shum\u00eb t\u00eb ikurish nga vatrat e veta, e la frym\u00ebn e fundit, t\u00eb varroset nat\u00ebn, me dy-tre vet\u00eb, pa e salikuar fare. E shikova prap\u00eb varrin e plakut e \u2013 papritur m`u kujtua babai. Ku \u00ebsht\u00eb tash ai? Pse iku kaq rrufesh\u00ebm, pa na shpjeguar gj\u00eb. \u00c7far\u00eb i dhembte m\u00eb ashp\u00ebr se mua, m\u00eb ashp\u00ebr se Rig\u00ebs, Lir\u00ebs, Tring\u00ebs, \u00e7far\u00eb i dhembte \u2013 jasht\u00eb dhembjes, jasht\u00eb plag\u00ebs son\u00eb, t\u00eb hapur. Ndoshta do t\u00eb jet\u00eb ndier\u00eb i fyer, pse p\u00ebr her\u00eb t\u00eb par\u00eb n\u00eb nj\u00eb m\u00ebnyr\u00eb kryq\u00ebzuam mendimet dhe fjal\u00ebt me t\u00eb…
\nM\u00eb iknin kok\u00ebs \u00e7astet e fundit n\u00eb sht\u00ebpi.
\n\u201c Po t\u00eb arrinim t`i p\u00ebrjetojm\u00eb k\u00ebtu edhe dy dit\u00eb, – tha babai. \u2013 Pse… pse edhe dy dit\u00eb, – e nd\u00ebrpreu Tringa.
\nPse t\u00eb presim, \u00e7far\u00eb t\u00eb presin… t`i shohim varret tona!? T\u00eb ikim menj\u00ebher\u00eb, – tha Riga.
\n– Jo, jo… edhe nj\u00eb dit\u00eb apo dy, s\u00eb paku, – na shikoi babai, pastaj fare jasht\u00eb vetes doli nga dhoma.
\n– \u00c7far\u00eb keni ngrir\u00eb ashtu? Ngjani n\u00eb gur\u00eb varresh! \u00c7far\u00eb prisni, – na shikoi rreptas motra e madhe me t`u kthyer mes nesh nga dhoma, ku kishte futur ca gj\u00ebra n\u00eb valixhen, q\u00eb do ta merrte me vete. \u2013 Sonte do t\u00eb ikim, patjet\u00ebr…
\n– Ndoshta?
\n– \u00c7`do t\u00eb thot\u00eb kjo, ndoshta!?
\n– Ndoshta, – ia b\u00ebri Tringa.
\n– Ku mbet babai, – na shikoi Lira.
\n– Nuk di, doli jasht\u00eb, – thash dhe t\u00ebr\u00ebsisht e turbulluar, iu afrova dritares. Shikoja jasht\u00eb e p\u00ebrve\u00e7 territ nuk shihja asgj\u00eb. Megjithat\u00eb shikoja me ngulm n\u00eb pacak. Doja t\u00eb shikoja udh\u00ebn q\u00eb nuk shihej, udh\u00ebn nga do t`ia mbanim, por kot. Nuk shihej gj\u00eb. Dera u \u00e7el ngadal\u00eb dhe brenda hyri babai E tha vet\u00ebm nj\u00eb fjal\u00eb, t\u00eb cil\u00ebn nuk e kuptova fare. \u2013 \u00e7far\u00eb tha, – e shikova Tring\u00ebn.
\n– Do t\u00eb ikim menj\u00ebher\u00eb.
\n– Ashtu tha.
\n– Po, ashtu… Bie shi dhe kjo ndoshta shkon n\u00eb t\u00eb mir\u00ebn ton\u00eb, – m\u00eb pa babai, i cili \u2013 n\u00eb lot e hapi der\u00ebn dhe ne-t\u00eb kat\u00ebr motrat, i ec\u00ebm prapa t\u00eb humbura. \u2013 Po ikim, e k\u00ebtu po ngel gjith\u00e7ka q\u00eb \u00ebsht\u00eb jona, e l\u00ebn\u00eb mes gjakut, djers\u00ebs e \u00ebndrr\u00ebs, mes shpres\u00ebs, nga gjysh e st\u00ebrgjysh. – Babai ka nj\u00eb zem\u00ebr t\u00eb madhe, – mendova, nd\u00ebrsa gjall\u00eb mund t\u00eb ndahet nga gjith\u00ebsia e vet, nga shpirti i vet.
\n– Duhet p\u00ebrballuar t\u00eb gjitha, – tha Tringa.
\n– P\u00ebr \u00e7far\u00eb e ke fjal\u00ebn, – e shikova.
\n– A nuk t\u00eb kujtohet \u00e7far\u00eb thua.
\n– Jo.
\n– Eh, – m\u00eb pa, – do t\u00eb t\u00eb tregoj m\u00eb von\u00eb.
\n-\u00c7far\u00eb, – e p\u00ebrs\u00ebrita.
\n– Mbylle goj\u00ebn, – m\u00eb tha preras. \u2013 Babi dhe ashtu qe tep\u00ebr n\u00eb dilem\u00eb. Mir\u00eb q\u00eb vendosi t\u00eb iknim…
\n– Ashtu \u00ebsht\u00eb, – ia b\u00ebra.
\n– Ama ti, as nuk e d\u00ebgjon veten \u00e7`thua. Po t\u00eb d\u00ebgjoi ai, do t\u00eb na kthej\u00eb prap\u00eb n\u00eb sht\u00ebpi dhe serb\u00ebt aty do t\u00eb na varrosin t\u00eb gjalla.
\n-Tring\u00eb, mot\u00ebr, motra ime e vog\u00ebl… \u2013 ia b\u00ebra.
\n– Harroje, – ma mbylli goj\u00ebn.
\nShiu binte sixhim. Sapo i kaluam varrezat, ktheva kok\u00ebn ta shikoja sht\u00ebpin\u00eb edhe nj\u00eb her\u00eb dhe dy pika loti m\u00eb ran\u00eb aty, ku qe grumbulluar nj\u00eb liqen i vog\u00ebl nga shiu. Dy bula uji me balt\u00eb u ngreh\u00ebn lart.
\n– Pritni pak, – e d\u00ebgjova t\u00eb thoshte babai nd\u00ebrkoh\u00eb. \u2013 Un\u00eb, do ta kaloj ur\u00ebn, pastaj po t\u00eb rrjedh \u00e7do gj\u00eb mir\u00eb, ua b\u00ebj me shenj\u00eb t\u00eb kaloni edhe ju. Nuk vonoi dhe e kaluam ur\u00ebn…
\n– E tash, – fola.
\n– Ur\u00ebn e mbajn\u00eb gjithnj\u00eb n\u00ebn zjarr, tha babai. \u2013 E kaluam ur\u00ebn, tash do t\u00eb shohim. Do t\u00eb ecim me njer\u00ebzit q\u00eb \u2013 a i shihni, l\u00ebvizin nga u shohin syt\u00eb.
\n– Baba, – ia b\u00ebra papritur dhe krejt e mbytur n\u00eb dhembje.
\n– Fol, – tha babai.
\n– Qeni im nuk \u00ebsht\u00eb. Ka ikur…
\n– \u00cbsht\u00eb kthyer n\u00eb sht\u00ebpi, bij\u00eb. Ai nuk \u00ebsht\u00eb si njer\u00ebzit.
\n– Si mendon, – ia b\u00ebri Tringa.
\n– Vet\u00ebm njer\u00ebzit i l\u00ebn\u00eb sht\u00ebpit\u00eb ku kan\u00eb lindur e ikin. Qeni k\u00ebt\u00eb nuk e b\u00ebn dot…
\n– Ama, ai u nis me mua, – fola, – por tash shoh se nuk \u00ebsht\u00eb pran\u00eb meje. \u2013 Do ta gjejm\u00eb n\u00eb sht\u00ebpi, po t\u00eb kemi udh\u00eb dhe fat t\u00eb kthehemi, gjithsesi, – tha me z\u00eb plot vaj babai.
\nUn\u00eb tashm\u00eb qaja n\u00eb d\u00ebnesje… Ec\u00ebm e ec\u00ebm, me or\u00eb e or\u00eb, n\u00eb heshtje. Secili ikte e vinte me siguri \u00ebndrr\u00ebs s\u00eb vet, dhembjes s\u00eb vet, mjegull\u00ebs s\u00eb vet t\u00eb dendur.
\n– Ja, d\u00ebgjohen z\u00ebra, – tha Tringa.
\n– Ky \u00ebsht\u00eb nj\u00eb fshat i vog\u00ebl, – tha babai. \u2013 Shum\u00eb t\u00eb ikur i kan\u00eb ndalur te xhamia…
\n– Pse, – nd\u00ebrhyri Lira.
\n– T\u00eb gjejn\u00eb udh\u00eb nga t`ia mbajm\u00eb, mendoj.
\nT\u00eb lodhura, t\u00eb lagura deri n\u00eb l\u00ebkur\u00eb, iu bashkuam turm\u00ebs.
\n– Nga vini, or t\u00eb gjora, – tha nj\u00eb grua e moshuar.
\n– Nga Buz\u00eblumi…
\nAjo nuk foli m\u00eb.
\n– Pse presim k\u00ebtu?
\n– Presim t\u00eb nisemi…
\n– P\u00ebr ku, – e shikova gruan e moshuar.
\n– Ndoshta p\u00ebr n\u00eb Shqip\u00ebri…
\n– Jo, moj, jo… Ende nuk e ka t\u00eb qart\u00eb askush nga do t\u00eb ecim.
\n– Ku e m\u00ebsove ti k\u00ebt\u00eb, – nd\u00ebrhyri dikush.
\n– D\u00ebgjova.
\n– E pse ne nuk e d\u00ebgjuam…
\n– Pse… A un\u00eb t\u00eb kam faj, a?!
\nCopa t\u00eb r\u00ebnda fjal\u00ebsh goditeshin n\u00eb mes vete dhe p\u00ebrplaseshin n\u00eb vesh\u00ebt e mi.
\n– Ku dhe kah do t`ia mbajm\u00eb ?!…\u201d
\n– Eda, zbrit Eda, sa nuk t\u00eb kan\u00eb vrar\u00eb… \u2013 d\u00ebgjova nga p\u00ebrplasej z\u00ebri kodr\u00ebs z\u00ebri q\u00eb vinte nga fundi i kodr\u00ebs. \u2013 Zbrit, apo pret t\u00eb vijm\u00eb t\u00eb t\u00eb marrim…
\n– Kush, – ia b\u00ebra.
\n– Un\u00eb, – tha Tringa, – kush tjet\u00ebr. Un\u00eb dhe gruaja e moshuar. Ndoshta nuk ndihesh mir\u00eb…
\n– Jo, jo… menj\u00ebher\u00eb do t\u00eb zbres, – ia b\u00ebra dhe e shikova varrin e plakut para vetes, pastaj edhe nj\u00eb her\u00eb m\u00eb iku mendja te babai.
\n– Pse e tha kaq her\u00eb t\u00eb nj\u00ebjt\u00ebn gj\u00eb, – \u201c Po t\u00eb arrinim t`i p\u00ebrjetojm\u00eb k\u00ebtu edhe dy dit\u00eb…\u201d \u2013 Pse kjo, baba. T\u00eb ikim… Vdekja na \u00ebsht\u00eb af\u00ebr! \u2013 tha motra e tret\u00eb. – \u00c7far\u00eb qe kaq e r\u00ebnd\u00ebsishme t\u00eb q\u00ebndronte ende n\u00eb sht\u00ebpi, nd\u00ebrsa vdekja tashm\u00eb trokiste n\u00eb der\u00eb. E lidhte vdekja apo jeta, zoti im, p\u00ebr gurin e vet? K\u00ebt\u00eb gj\u00eb ndoshta nuk do t`ia arrij\u00eb ta kem t\u00eb qart\u00eb kurr\u00eb!\u201d
\n– Zbrit, zem\u00ebr, zbrit, mund t\u00eb t\u00eb vrasin, – me binte me jehon\u00eb z\u00ebri nga fundi i kodr\u00ebs, shpatull\u00ebs s\u00eb t\u00eb cil\u00ebs mor\u00ebn t\u00eb ngjiteshin gruaja n\u00eb mosh\u00eb dhe motra ime m\u00eb e vog\u00ebl.
\nNuk frik\u00ebsohesha nga asgj\u00eb m\u00eb. \u00c7do gj\u00eb qe b\u00ebr\u00eb e nj\u00ebjt\u00eb \u2013 e ftoht\u00eb dhe e pakuptimt\u00eb. Rr\u00ebfimet p\u00ebr k\u00ebt\u00eb apo at\u00eb vrasje, p\u00ebr k\u00ebt\u00eb apo at\u00eb masak\u00ebr, p\u00ebr rrezikun q\u00eb hapte goj\u00ebn n\u00eb \u00e7do \u00e7ast t\u00eb na p\u00ebrpinte, t\u00eb na zhdukte nga faqja e dheut, nuk m\u00eb vinin m\u00eb me ethe, nuk m\u00eb vinin me dridhje as zjarrmi, nuk m\u00eb tronditnin dot. E vetmja gj\u00eb, me t\u00eb cil\u00ebn niste dita dhe per\u00ebndonte, lidhej me breng\u00ebn p\u00ebr baban\u00eb, i cili iku pa fjal\u00eb dhe pa gjurm\u00eb, por \u2013 nuk m\u00eb linin t\u00eb qet\u00eb aspak as syt\u00eb e Ilirit. E kjo \u00ebsht\u00eb tep\u00ebr e habitshme, tep\u00ebr e \u00e7uditshme. Ama, shpirti, nuk d\u00ebgjon her\u00eb her\u00eb p\u00ebr asgj\u00eb. Lidhet fuqish\u00ebm me trokitjen e zemr\u00ebs. E zemra \u2013 edhe n\u00eb k\u00ebt\u00eb gjendje, rrihte p\u00ebr Ilirin, t\u00eb cilin e kisha par\u00eb vet\u00ebm nj\u00eb her\u00eb n\u00eb jet\u00eb. Ndoshta gjithher\u00eb ngjet k\u00ebshtu, por askush nuk e shfaq. E mban p\u00ebr vete, me xhelozi. Secili ka gjak dhe ndien di\u00e7ka p\u00ebr ndok\u00ebnd. Kjo tashm\u00eb m\u00eb ngjante mua. Kaq pakuptimt\u00eb lidhesha me syt\u00eb e nj\u00eb t\u00eb panjohuri sa nuk mund t`ia shpjegoja vetes. Zot, ama si m\u00eb ngjante kjo. N\u00eb vorbull t\u00eb luft\u00ebs, si. Ama, kjo ndodhte. N\u00eb \u00e7aste t\u00eb caktuara, papritur shk\u00ebputesha nga realja dhe lidhesha t\u00ebr\u00ebsisht me di\u00e7ka t\u00eb imagjinuar, jetoja n\u00eb iluzion, n\u00eb \u00ebndrra… E shikova dhe nj\u00eb her\u00eb varrin e plakut, t\u00eb varrosur vet\u00ebm gjysm\u00eb dite m\u00eb par\u00eb, e mora t\u00eb zbrisja shpatull\u00ebs s\u00eb kodr\u00ebs, t\u00eb takohesha me gruan e moshuar e motr\u00ebn.
\n– \u00c7far\u00eb b\u00ebje atje, t\u00eb pla\u00e7in syt\u00eb, – ma priti gruaja e moshuar, sapo u afruam.
\n– \u00cbnd\u00ebrroja, – ia b\u00ebra.
\n– Zaten koha p\u00ebr \u00ebndrra \u00ebsht\u00eb, – foli ajo.
\n– Sa p\u00ebr t\u00eb ikur nga kjo p\u00ebrditshm\u00ebri e hidhur, – nd\u00ebrhyri Tringa.
\nMor\u00ebm t\u00eb zbrisnim posht\u00eb shpatull\u00ebs s\u00eb kodr\u00ebs.
\n– A do t\u00eb vij\u00eb sot Iliri, – e shikova motr\u00ebn.
\n– Po nuk erdhi sot, vjen nes\u00ebr. \u00c7`je preokupuar kaq shum\u00eb me at\u00eb gj\u00eb kaq pak t\u00eb r\u00ebnd\u00ebsishme.
\n– E r\u00ebnd\u00ebsishme \u00ebsht\u00eb, bijo, e r\u00ebnd\u00ebsishme, – tha gruaja e moshuar. M\u00eb shikoi t\u00eb heshtur dhe t\u00eb humbur e buz\u00ebqeshi. – Dashuria nuk ka fe, nuk ka as atdhe, nuk ka koh\u00eb as gjuh\u00eb. Ajo shfaqet papritur, t\u00eb rob\u00ebron dhe ti \u2013 ndaras nga realja, z\u00eb t\u00eb fluturosh.
\n– Ai q\u00eb fluturon pa krah\u00eb rr\u00ebzohet, – tha motra. – E rr\u00ebzimi dhemb.
\n– Dhemb, por ajo \u00ebsht\u00eb nj\u00eb dhembje e bukur, dhembje q\u00eb lidhet me k\u00ebnaq\u00ebsin\u00eb… – tha dhe prap\u00eb m\u00eb shikoi t\u00eb heshtur dhe hutuar.
\nSa grua e kuptueshme dhe e mir\u00eb, mendova m\u00eb vete, e iu afrova, e putha leht\u00eb n\u00eb faqe… Syt\u00eb i ndrit\u00ebn n\u00ebn ngash\u00ebrim dhe lot. T\u00eb nj\u00ebjt\u00ebn gj\u00eb, n\u00eb munges\u00eb t\u00eb n\u00ebn\u00ebs kaq vjet, e ndjeva dhe un\u00eb. E putha prap\u00eb, me af\u00ebrsi, ngroht\u00ebsi e dashuri dhe \u2013n\u00eb m\u00ebnyr\u00eb t\u00eb \u00e7uditshme, ndjeva arom\u00ebn e krijes\u00ebs m\u00eb t\u00eb dashur n\u00eb bot\u00eb, e krijes\u00ebs q\u00eb m\u00eb dha frym\u00ebn e jet\u00ebs. Papritur, para m`u shfaq ajo q\u00eb m\u00eb la f\u00ebmij\u00eb-n\u00ebna, m\u00eb mori p\u00ebr dore dhe p\u00ebr nj\u00eb \u00e7ast ngarend\u00ebm fush\u00ebs me bar e lule, n\u00ebn flutura dhe cic\u00ebrima zogjsh t\u00eb bardh\u00eb. Ky qe vet\u00ebm nj\u00eb iluzion, q\u00eb ende pa i \u00e7el\u00eb syt\u00eb, u shua. \u2013 I huaji nuk b\u00ebhet yti, – qe p\u00ebrvjedhur me vjet te secila mot\u00ebr, e lidhur dita m\u00eb dit\u00eb n\u00eb bindje – n\u00eb heshtje, n\u00eb ndrojtje, pa dashurin\u00eb, afrin\u00eb e ngroht\u00ebsin\u00eb e n\u00ebn\u00ebs. \u2013 Fati, – belb\u00ebzova dhe eca p\u00ebrkrah me gruan e moshuar dhe motr\u00ebn e vog\u00ebl. Ikte dhe nj\u00eb dit\u00eb, pa ylberin q\u00eb prisja t\u00eb harkonte nga nj\u00eb liqen n\u00eb tjetrin liqen, mbi d\u00ebshir\u00ebn e \u00ebndrr\u00ebn q\u00eb e ushqenin shpirtin.
\n– Iliri nuk erdhi, – m\u00eb iku vetes nj\u00eb rr\u00ebqethje.
\n– Vjen, – ma lexoi mendimin Tringa.
\nGruaja n\u00eb mosh\u00eb e kuptoi \u00e7far\u00eb m\u00eb tha motra dhe buz\u00ebqeshi. Ik\u00ebm brenda xhamis\u00eb, t\u00eb shtrihemi p\u00ebr gjum\u00eb dhe \u2013 natyrisht, t\u00eb \u00ebnd\u00ebrronim ende p\u00ebr udh\u00ebt e gjata, p\u00ebr zogjt\u00eb q\u00eb e zgjojn\u00eb qiellin dhe mbi puplat e arta e \u00e7elin dit\u00ebn e re…<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Fatmire Duraku (Insert nga romani \u201cOra me qostek\u00eb\u201d) – Gjurm\u00ebt n\u00eb r\u00ebr\u00eb humbin shpejt, – tha. – Po, i sheh e pastaj vjen vala e i mbulon me r\u00ebr\u00eb… – Ashtu. Ama di\u00e7ka mbetet prap\u00eb… – Kujtimi, mendon ti. – Jo, di\u00e7ka q\u00eb \u00ebsht\u00eb m\u00eb shum\u00eb se ai, kujtimi, q\u00eb thua. – \u00c7far\u00eb. – Shkrimi […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":39363,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[8,11],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-49766","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","category-letersi","category-roman"],"yoast_head":"\nDita \u00e7elte ngjyra - ngjyra - FJALA e LIR\u00cb<\/title>\n<meta name=\"robots\" content=\"index, follow, max-snippet:-1, max-image-preview:large, max-video-preview:-1\" \/>\n<link rel=\"canonical\" href=\"https:\/\/jehonashqiptare.al\/fjala\/dita-celte-ngjyra-ngjyra\/\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:locale\" content=\"en_US\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:type\" content=\"article\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:title\" content=\"Dita \u00e7elte ngjyra - ngjyra - FJALA e LIR\u00cb\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:description\" content=\"Fatmire Duraku (Insert nga romani \u201cOra me qostek\u00eb\u201d) – Gjurm\u00ebt n\u00eb r\u00ebr\u00eb humbin shpejt, – tha. – Po, i sheh e pastaj vjen vala e i mbulon me r\u00ebr\u00eb… – Ashtu. Ama di\u00e7ka mbetet prap\u00eb… – Kujtimi, mendon ti. – Jo, di\u00e7ka q\u00eb \u00ebsht\u00eb m\u00eb shum\u00eb se ai, kujtimi, q\u00eb thua. – \u00c7far\u00eb. – Shkrimi […]\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:url\" content=\"https:\/\/jehonashqiptare.al\/fjala\/dita-celte-ngjyra-ngjyra\/\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:site_name\" content=\"FJALA e LIR\u00cb\" \/>\n<meta property=\"article:publisher\" content=\"https:\/\/facebook.com\/fjala.info\/\" \/>\n<meta property=\"article:author\" content=\"https:\/\/facebook.com\/shkoder.net\/\" \/>\n<meta property=\"article:published_time\" content=\"2020-01-13T20:32:54+00:00\" \/>\n<meta property=\"article:modified_time\" content=\"2020-01-13T20:37:52+00:00\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:image\" content=\"https:\/\/jehonashqiptare.al\/fjala\/wp-content\/uploads\/2019\/03\/fatmire_duraku2.jpg\" \/>\n\t<meta property=\"og:image:width\" content=\"600\" \/>\n\t<meta property=\"og:image:height\" content=\"746\" \/>\n\t<meta property=\"og:image:type\" content=\"image\/jpeg\" \/>\n<meta name=\"author\" content=\"admin\" \/>\n<meta name=\"twitter:card\" content=\"summary_large_image\" \/>\n<meta name=\"twitter:creator\" content=\"@https:\/\/twitter.com\/acokaj\" \/>\n<meta name=\"twitter:site\" content=\"@acokaj\" \/>\n<meta name=\"twitter:label1\" content=\"Written by\" \/>\n\t<meta name=\"twitter:data1\" content=\"admin\" \/>\n\t<meta name=\"twitter:label2\" content=\"Est. reading time\" \/>\n\t<meta name=\"twitter:data2\" content=\"30 minutes\" \/>\n<script type=\"application\/ld+json\" class=\"yoast-schema-graph\">{\"@context\":\"https:\\\/\\\/schema.org\",\"@graph\":[{\"@type\":\"Article\",\"@id\":\"https:\\\/\\\/jehonashqiptare.al\\\/fjala\\\/dita-celte-ngjyra-ngjyra\\\/#article\",\"isPartOf\":{\"@id\":\"https:\\\/\\\/jehonashqiptare.al\\\/fjala\\\/dita-celte-ngjyra-ngjyra\\\/\"},\"author\":{\"name\":\"admin\",\"@id\":\"https:\\\/\\\/jehonashqiptare.al\\\/fjala\\\/#\\\/schema\\\/person\\\/9c9fccf4f6449d25e258607d9b4275cb\"},\"headline\":\"Dita \u00e7elte ngjyra – ngjyra\",\"datePublished\":\"2020-01-13T20:32:54+00:00\",\"dateModified\":\"2020-01-13T20:37:52+00:00\",\"mainEntityOfPage\":{\"@id\":\"https:\\\/\\\/jehonashqiptare.al\\\/fjala\\\/dita-celte-ngjyra-ngjyra\\\/\"},\"wordCount\":6009,\"commentCount\":0,\"image\":{\"@id\":\"https:\\\/\\\/jehonashqiptare.al\\\/fjala\\\/dita-celte-ngjyra-ngjyra\\\/#primaryimage\"},\"thumbnailUrl\":\"https:\\\/\\\/jehonashqiptare.al\\\/fjala\\\/wp-content\\\/uploads\\\/2019\\\/03\\\/fatmire_duraku2.jpg\",\"articleSection\":[\"Let\u00ebrsi\",\"Roman\"],\"inLanguage\":\"en-US\",\"potentialAction\":[{\"@type\":\"CommentAction\",\"name\":\"Comment\",\"target\":[\"https:\\\/\\\/jehonashqiptare.al\\\/fjala\\\/dita-celte-ngjyra-ngjyra\\\/#respond\"]}]},{\"@type\":\"WebPage\",\"@id\":\"https:\\\/\\\/jehonashqiptare.al\\\/fjala\\\/dita-celte-ngjyra-ngjyra\\\/\",\"url\":\"https:\\\/\\\/jehonashqiptare.al\\\/fjala\\\/dita-celte-ngjyra-ngjyra\\\/\",\"name\":\"Dita \u00e7elte ngjyra - 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