{"id":61581,"date":"2020-11-26T22:49:47","date_gmt":"2020-11-26T20:49:47","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/fjala.info\/?p=61581"},"modified":"2020-11-26T22:49:47","modified_gmt":"2020-11-26T20:49:47","slug":"nuk-ka-femije-te-veshtire-vetem-femije-qe-kane-veshtiresi","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/jehonashqiptare.al\/fjala\/nuk-ka-femije-te-veshtire-vetem-femije-qe-kane-veshtiresi\/","title":{"rendered":"Nuk ka f\u00ebmij\u00eb t\u00eb v\u00ebshtir\u00eb, vet\u00ebm f\u00ebmij\u00eb q\u00eb kan\u00eb v\u00ebshtir\u00ebsi"},"content":{"rendered":"

Nga Aurel Dasareti<\/strong>, USA<\/em>, ekspert i shkencave ushtarake-psikologjike<\/em> (dasaretiaurel@yahoo.com.au<\/a>)<\/p>\n

Njeriu \u00ebsht\u00eb produkt i atyre q\u00eb kan\u00eb ushtruar ndikim mbi t\u00eb. P\u00ebr shembull: Prind\u00ebrit e mi, pothuajse n\u00eb t\u00eb nj\u00ebjt\u00ebn m\u00ebnyr\u00eb, kan\u00eb pasur (dhe akoma kan\u00eb) nj\u00eb ndikim t\u00eb thell\u00eb tek un\u00eb dhe idet\u00eb e mia.<\/p>\n

* * *<\/p>\n

Vendosni kufijt\u00eb q\u00eb f\u00ebmija i kupton. \u00cbsht\u00eb e nevojshme dhe e drejt\u00eb t\u00eb jesh n\u00eb gjendje t\u00eb vendos\u00ebsh kufij p\u00ebr f\u00ebmij\u00ebn t\u00ebnd. Por m\u00ebnyra se si vendosni kufij ka shum\u00eb p\u00ebr t\u00eb th\u00ebn\u00eb n\u00ebse f\u00ebmija juaj i kupton dhe i pranon ato q\u00eb ju thoni.<\/p>\n

N\u00eb vendet e civilizuara \u00ebsht\u00eb e ndaluar t\u00eb rrah\u00ebsh f\u00ebmij\u00ebt (as t\u00eb huajin as t\u00ebndin). Gjithashtu nuk lejohet t\u00eb k\u00ebrc\u00ebnoni, b\u00ebrtisni ose thoni gj\u00ebra t\u00eb k\u00ebqija f\u00ebmij\u00ebve n\u00eb m\u00ebnyr\u00eb q\u00eb ata t\u00eb tremben ose t\u00eb m\u00ebrziten.<\/p>\n

T\u00eb gjith\u00eb f\u00ebmij\u00ebt kan\u00eb t\u00eb drejt\u00eb t\u00eb ndihen t\u00eb sigurt dhe mir\u00eb n\u00eb sht\u00ebpi.
\nT\u00eb godas\u00ebsh, t\u00eb k\u00ebrc\u00ebnosh, t\u00eb flas\u00ebsh keq ose t\u00eb frik\u00ebsosh do t\u00eb thot\u00eb ta v\u00ebsh dik\u00eb n\u00eb rrezik.<\/p>\n

* * *<\/p>\n

N\u00eb bashk\u00ebjetes\u00ebn e tyre t\u00eb p\u00ebrditshme me f\u00ebmij\u00ebt e tyre, shumica e prind\u00ebrve mendojn\u00eb m\u00eb shum\u00eb p\u00ebr dashurin\u00eb, kujdesin dhe p\u00ebrgjegj\u00ebsin\u00eb sesa p\u00ebr fuqin\u00eb. Por prind\u00ebrit kan\u00eb pushtet mbi jet\u00ebn dhe mir\u00ebqenien e f\u00ebmij\u00ebve t\u00eb tyre. Sidomos n\u00eb vitet e para pushteti \u00ebsht\u00eb i plot\u00eb, por edhe kur f\u00ebmij\u00ebt rriten, prind\u00ebrit kan\u00eb nj\u00eb fuqi shum\u00eb t\u00eb madhe.<\/p>\n

Prind\u00ebrit kan\u00eb fuqin\u00eb ligjore, financiare, fizike dhe psikologjike – edhe kur ndihen t\u00eb pafuqish\u00ebm. N\u00eb fakt, n\u00eb shum\u00eb familje shqiptare me f\u00ebmij\u00eb, shp\u00ebrdorimi i pushtetit \u00ebsht\u00eb m\u00eb i madhi kur t\u00eb rriturit ose ndihen t\u00eb pafuqish\u00ebm ose kur, p\u00ebr arsye t\u00eb ndryshme, nuk duan t\u00eb q\u00ebndrojn\u00eb pran\u00eb pushtetit q\u00eb kan\u00eb. N\u00eb kulturat e tjera jo aq t\u00eb civilizuara, shp\u00ebrdorimi i pushtetit, si\u00e7 \u00ebsht\u00eb dhuna fizike, \u00ebsht\u00eb nj\u00eb virtyt dhe ushtrimi i plot\u00eb i pushtetit (forc\u00ebs) konsiderohet p\u00ebrgjegj\u00ebsia e vetme.<\/p>\n

Vendet shqiptare (p\u00ebrfshir\u00eb diaspor\u00ebn) duhet t\u00eb heqin dhun\u00ebn fizike si nj\u00eb pjes\u00eb e njohur e rritjes dhe edukimit t\u00eb f\u00ebmij\u00ebve. Ka akoma prind\u00ebr q\u00eb rrahin f\u00ebmij\u00ebt e tyre, por shumica jan\u00eb b\u00ebr\u00eb gradualisht t\u00eb vet\u00ebdijsh\u00ebm se dhuna \u00ebsht\u00eb e d\u00ebmshme – si p\u00ebr personin q\u00eb rrihet, ashtu edhe p\u00ebr personin q\u00eb godet. Ne jemi b\u00ebr\u00eb aq t\u00eb civilizuar sa q\u00eb distancohemi nga dhuna si mjet pushteti (edukimi). N\u00eb t\u00eb nj\u00ebjt\u00ebn m\u00ebnyr\u00eb, tani kemi filluar t\u00eb kuptojm\u00eb se mund t\u00eb mos ket\u00eb asnj\u00eb ndryshim t\u00eb v\u00ebrtet\u00eb midis dhun\u00ebs fizike dhe t\u00eb ashtuquajtur\u00ebs “dhun\u00eb psikologjike” – dometh\u00ebn\u00eb ironi ther\u00ebse, talljes, posht\u00ebrimit, kritik\u00ebs, p\u00ebrbuzjes dhe shpifjes. T\u00eb dy format e dhun\u00ebs jan\u00eb shkat\u00ebrruese nga ana njer\u00ebzore.<\/p>\n

Dhuna dhe k\u00ebrc\u00ebnimet e dhun\u00ebs e b\u00ebn\u00eb shum\u00eb m\u00eb t\u00eb leht\u00eb p\u00ebr t’i b\u00ebr\u00eb f\u00ebmij\u00ebt t\u00eb d\u00ebgjojn\u00eb dhe t’i n\u00ebnshtrohen fuqis\u00eb s\u00eb t\u00eb rriturve n\u00eb at\u00eb q\u00eb disa ende e quajn\u00eb “dit\u00ebt e mira t\u00eb vjetra”. T\u00eb rriturit vendosin kufijt\u00eb, dhe n\u00ebse f\u00ebmij\u00ebt nuk i ndiqnin ato, at\u00ebher\u00eb ato ngushtoheshin. “N\u00ebse ata nuk d\u00ebshirojn\u00eb t\u00eb d\u00ebgjojn\u00eb, at\u00ebher\u00eb ata duhet t\u00eb ndjejn\u00eb”, – i than\u00eb prind\u00ebrit e asaj kohe nj\u00ebri-tjetrit, duke e qet\u00ebsuar veten se ishte detyra e tyre e shenjt\u00eb t’u m\u00ebsonin f\u00ebmij\u00ebve “ndryshimin midis s\u00eb drejt\u00ebs dhe s\u00eb gabuar\u00ebs”.<\/p>\n

Dhuna si mjet edukimi nuk krijon respekt, krijon ankth. Ajo nuk i m\u00ebson f\u00ebmij\u00ebt t\u00eb njohin ndryshimin midis s\u00eb drejt\u00ebs dhe s\u00eb gabuar\u00ebs, ajo i m\u00ebson ata se dhuna \u00ebsht\u00eb e drejt\u00eb – n\u00ebse keni fuqin\u00eb. Ajo nuk i m\u00ebson f\u00ebmij\u00ebt t\u00eb respektojn\u00eb kufijt\u00eb e prind\u00ebrve t\u00eb tyre, por i m\u00ebson t\u00eb ken\u00eb frik\u00eb nga pasojat.<\/p>\n

Heqja parimore e dhun\u00ebs ka l\u00ebn\u00eb nj\u00eb boshll\u00ebk n\u00eb bashk\u00ebveprimin midis t\u00eb rriturve dhe f\u00ebmij\u00ebve. \u00c7do dit\u00eb, t\u00eb gjith\u00eb prind\u00ebrit po eksperimentojn\u00eb me m\u00ebnyra t\u00eb ndryshme p\u00ebr t\u00eb mbushur k\u00ebt\u00eb boshll\u00ebk. Disa provojn\u00eb parimet demokratike dhe nganj\u00ebher\u00eb ngecin n\u00eb diskutime t\u00eb pafundme.<\/p>\n

T\u00eb tjer\u00ebt p\u00ebrpiqen t\u00eb lejojn\u00eb q\u00eb d\u00ebshira dhe mosdashja e f\u00ebmij\u00ebve t\u00eb jet\u00eb busulla e familjes dhe n\u00eb fund t\u00eb fundit nuk gjejn\u00eb asnj\u00eb m\u00ebnyr\u00eb. Disa u japin f\u00ebmij\u00ebve p\u00ebrgjegj\u00ebsi kur me sa duket nuk \u00ebsht\u00eb aq e r\u00ebnd\u00ebsishme dhe p\u00ebrfundojn\u00eb t\u00eb bllokuar n\u00eb nj\u00eb luft\u00eb p\u00ebr\u00e7ar\u00ebse p\u00ebr pushtet. T\u00eb tjer\u00ebt jan\u00eb aq t\u00eb shqet\u00ebsuar p\u00ebr t’u dh\u00ebn\u00eb f\u00ebmij\u00ebve hap\u00ebsir\u00eb dhe v\u00ebmendje, saq\u00eb nuk ka vend (koh\u00eb) p\u00ebr veten e tyre dhe nevojat e tyre.<\/p>\n

T\u00eb gjitha k\u00ebto eksperimente jan\u00eb t\u00eb nevojshme q\u00eb ne t\u00eb m\u00ebsojm\u00eb t\u00eb p\u00ebrdorim fuqin\u00eb ton\u00eb t\u00eb t\u00eb rriturve n\u00eb m\u00ebnyr\u00eb m\u00eb konstruktive se sa ishin n\u00eb gjendje gjeneratat e m\u00ebparshme t\u00eb t\u00eb rriturve. As t\u00eb rriturit dhe as f\u00ebmij\u00ebt nuk d\u00ebmtohen nga eksperimentimi me parime t\u00eb ndryshme, madje as kur eksperimentet d\u00ebshtojn\u00eb. Vet\u00ebm kur ngrijm\u00eb n\u00eb nj\u00eb nivel jo t\u00eb k\u00ebnaqsh\u00ebm – dhe d\u00ebshtojm\u00eb p\u00ebr t\u00eb ndryshuar kursin, si t\u00eb rriturit ashtu edhe f\u00ebmij\u00ebt b\u00ebhen t\u00eb pak\u00ebnaqur.<\/p>\n

* * *<\/p>\n

P\u00ebr qindra vjet ne (njer\u00ebzimi) jemi m\u00ebsuar me faktin se t\u00eb qenit baba ose n\u00ebn\u00eb na dha nj\u00eb autoritet zyrtar q\u00eb e b\u00ebnte m\u00eb t\u00eb leht\u00eb ushtrimin e pushtetit. Ky nuk \u00ebsht\u00eb m\u00eb rasti, ose m\u00eb sakt\u00eb, ky \u00ebsht\u00eb rasti vet\u00ebm n\u00eb vitet e para t\u00eb jet\u00ebs s\u00eb f\u00ebmij\u00ebve. Prind\u00ebrit modern\u00eb duhet t\u00eb zhvillojn\u00eb nj\u00eb autoritet shum\u00eb m\u00eb personal n\u00ebse udh\u00ebheqja e tyre do t\u00eb ket\u00eb sukses dhe shmanget abuzimi me pushtetin. Nd\u00ebrsa rolet gjinore fshihen, e nj\u00ebjta gj\u00eb vlen edhe n\u00ebse marr\u00ebdh\u00ebnia do t\u00eb ket\u00eb sukses.<\/p>\n

As prind\u00ebrit, as m\u00ebsuesit, as m\u00ebsuesit parashkollor\u00eb nuk marrin t\u00eb nj\u00ebjtin respekt nga mjedisi q\u00eb i rrethon n\u00eb saj\u00eb t\u00eb asaj \u00e7far\u00eb jan\u00eb, por n\u00eb saj\u00eb t\u00eb asaj kush jan\u00eb. T\u00eb dy, f\u00ebmij\u00ebt dhe t\u00eb rriturit, kan\u00eb humbur respektin p\u00ebr ata q\u00eb jan\u00eb n\u00eb pushtet, dhe ne po shkojm\u00eb ngadal\u00eb por me siguri drejt nj\u00eb kohe kur shkalla e besueshm\u00ebris\u00eb personale p\u00ebrcakton se sa respekt kemi, dhe sa fuqi mund t\u00eb kemi n\u00eb marr\u00ebdh\u00ebniet private dhe arsimore me f\u00ebmij\u00ebt dhe t\u00eb rinjt\u00eb.<\/p>\n

* * *<\/p>\n

Sh\u00ebrbimi i \u201cMbrojtjes s\u00eb f\u00ebmij\u00ebve\u201d ka p\u00ebr q\u00ebllim t\u00eb mbroj\u00eb f\u00ebmij\u00ebt n\u00eb situata t\u00eb cenueshme dhe duhet t\u00eb p\u00ebrdoret vet\u00ebm n\u00eb raste t\u00eb jasht\u00ebzakonshme. Kushti \u00ebsht\u00eb q\u00eb ekziston rreziku q\u00eb f\u00ebmija t\u00eb d\u00ebmtohet ndjesh\u00ebm (sidomos nga prind\u00ebrit) duke q\u00ebndruar n\u00eb sht\u00ebpi, d.m.th q\u00eb duhet t\u00eb ket\u00eb nj\u00eb k\u00ebrc\u00ebnim t\u00eb r\u00ebnd\u00ebsish\u00ebm p\u00ebr sh\u00ebndetin ose zhvillimin e f\u00ebmij\u00ebs. A ka arsye t\u00eb shqet\u00ebsohemi p\u00ebr \u201cMbrojt\u00ebsit e f\u00ebmij\u00ebve\u201d?<\/p>\n

Po, sepse kan\u00eb t\u00eb drejt\u00eb t`ua marrin prind\u00ebrve kujdesin e f\u00ebmij\u00ebve n\u00eb institucione adekuate, dhe pas nj\u00eb kohe, pothuajse n\u00eb shumic\u00ebn e rasteve, f\u00ebmij\u00ebt adoptohen te \u201cprind\u00ebr artificial\u201d, nuk lejohen m\u00eb t\u00eb kontaktojn\u00eb me prind\u00ebrit biologjik t\u00eb cil\u00ebt as q\u00eb i din\u00eb adresat e tyre. Tani varet nga mosha e f\u00ebmij\u00ebs, sa m\u00eb i ri t\u00eb jet\u00eb aq m\u00eb shum\u00eb \u00ebsht\u00eb shansi q\u00eb t`i harroj\u00eb prind\u00ebrit me t\u00eb cil\u00ebt nuk do takohet m\u00eb – asnj\u00ebher\u00eb. Varet prej shtetit n\u00eb shtet.<\/p>\n

Me qindra prind\u00ebr t\u00eb diaspor\u00ebs shqiptare i kan\u00eb humbur f\u00ebmij\u00ebt n\u00eb k\u00ebt\u00eb form\u00eb. N\u00eb disa raste edhe p\u00ebr shkak t\u00eb budallall\u00ebkut dhe naivitetit t\u00eb tyre.<\/p>\n

* * *<\/p>\n

Pasi un\u00eb (1976) dhe prind\u00ebrit e mi kemi lindur dhe jetojm\u00eb larg trojeve arb\u00ebrore, dhe k\u00ebt\u00eb jav\u00eb kam dit\u00eblindjen, vendosa t\u00eb shkruaj p\u00ebr k\u00ebt\u00eb tem\u00eb, sepse d\u00ebshiroj q\u00eb t\u00eb gjith\u00eb f\u00ebmij\u00ebt shqiptar\u00eb (por jo vet\u00ebm) t\u00eb kalojn\u00eb nj\u00eb jet\u00eb shum\u00eb t\u00eb k\u00ebndshme af\u00ebr prind\u00ebrve dhe familjes s\u00eb vet\u00eb, ashtu si\u00e7 ka qen\u00eb f\u00ebmij\u00ebria ime, v\u00ebllait dhe motr\u00ebs. Tem\u00eb, ve\u00e7an\u00ebrisht e r\u00ebnd\u00ebsishme p\u00ebr bashk\u00ebkomb\u00ebsit e mi n\u00eb diaspor\u00eb. Si nj\u00eb kujtes\u00eb, t\u00eb mos harrojn\u00eb ku jetojn\u00eb dhe veprojn\u00eb…<\/p>\n

* * *<\/p>\n

Shumica prej nesh mund t\u00eb kujtoj\u00eb nj\u00eb koh\u00eb kur nj\u00eb dit\u00eblindje, ve\u00e7an\u00ebrisht n\u00ebse ishte e jona, ndri\u00e7oi bot\u00ebn sikur t\u00eb kishte dal\u00eb nj\u00eb diell tjet\u00ebr.<\/p>\n

\u201cTi nuk je m\u00eb i mir\u00eb se un\u00eb, por ti je shoku im m\u00eb i mir\u00eb. G\u00ebzuar dit\u00eblindjen!\u201d- k\u00ebshtu ma uroi dit\u00eblindjen v\u00ebllai im shakaxhi.<\/p>\n

Nd\u00ebrsa motra ishte m\u00eb \u201cserioze\u201d, m\u00eb shkroi:
\n\u201cNjeriu \u00ebsht\u00eb i ri vet\u00ebm nj\u00eb her\u00eb, por mund t\u00eb jet\u00eb i papjekur gjith\u00eb jet\u00ebn. G\u00ebzuar dit\u00eblindjen!\u201d<\/p>\n

* * *<\/p>\n

Ka dy dhurata t\u00eb q\u00ebndrueshme q\u00eb mund t’u b\u00ebjm\u00eb f\u00ebmij\u00ebve tan\u00eb. Nj\u00ebra \u00ebsht\u00eb rr\u00ebnj\u00ebt dhe tjetra jan\u00eb krah\u00ebt.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Nga Aurel Dasareti, USA, ekspert i shkencave ushtarake-psikologjike (dasaretiaurel@yahoo.com.au) Njeriu \u00ebsht\u00eb produkt i atyre q\u00eb kan\u00eb ushtruar ndikim mbi t\u00eb. P\u00ebr shembull: Prind\u00ebrit e mi, pothuajse n\u00eb t\u00eb nj\u00ebjt\u00ebn m\u00ebnyr\u00eb, kan\u00eb pasur (dhe akoma kan\u00eb) nj\u00eb ndikim t\u00eb thell\u00eb tek un\u00eb dhe idet\u00eb e mia. * * * Vendosni kufijt\u00eb q\u00eb f\u00ebmija i kupton. \u00cbsht\u00eb […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":35915,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[2],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-61581","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","category-artikuj"],"yoast_head":"\nNuk ka f\u00ebmij\u00eb t\u00eb v\u00ebshtir\u00eb, vet\u00ebm f\u00ebmij\u00eb q\u00eb kan\u00eb v\u00ebshtir\u00ebsi - FJALA e LIR\u00cb<\/title>\n<meta name=\"robots\" content=\"index, follow, max-snippet:-1, max-image-preview:large, max-video-preview:-1\" \/>\n<link rel=\"canonical\" href=\"https:\/\/jehonashqiptare.al\/fjala\/nuk-ka-femije-te-veshtire-vetem-femije-qe-kane-veshtiresi\/\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:locale\" content=\"en_US\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:type\" content=\"article\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:title\" content=\"Nuk ka f\u00ebmij\u00eb t\u00eb v\u00ebshtir\u00eb, vet\u00ebm f\u00ebmij\u00eb q\u00eb kan\u00eb v\u00ebshtir\u00ebsi - FJALA e LIR\u00cb\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:description\" content=\"Nga Aurel Dasareti, USA, ekspert i shkencave ushtarake-psikologjike (dasaretiaurel@yahoo.com.au) Njeriu \u00ebsht\u00eb produkt i atyre q\u00eb kan\u00eb ushtruar ndikim mbi t\u00eb. 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