{"id":61741,"date":"2020-12-04T10:19:34","date_gmt":"2020-12-04T09:19:34","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/fjala.info\/?p=61741"},"modified":"2020-12-04T10:40:57","modified_gmt":"2020-12-04T09:40:57","slug":"si-te-reagohet-kur-cika-apo-djali-dashurohen","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/jehonashqiptare.al\/fjala\/si-te-reagohet-kur-cika-apo-djali-dashurohen\/","title":{"rendered":"Si t\u00eb reagohet kur \u00e7ika, apo djali dashurohen?"},"content":{"rendered":"

Lis Bukuroca<\/strong><\/p>\n

Shkrimtari i famsh\u00ebm amerikan, na ofron nj\u00eb v\u00ebshtrim shum\u00eb personal dhe shum\u00eb t\u00eb sinqert\u00eb t\u00eb dashuris\u00eb: nj\u00eb q\u00ebndrim q\u00eb duhet t\u00eb kopjohet. Ai ishte nj\u00eb baba shembullor.<\/p><\/blockquote>\n

Let\u00ebr nga John Steinbeck<\/strong> djalit t\u00eb tij 14 vje\u00e7ar
\nNju Jork, 10 n\u00ebntor 1958<\/em><\/p>\n

I dashur Thom (Tom),<\/p>\n

ne e mor\u00ebm letr\u00ebn t\u00ebnde k\u00ebt\u00eb m\u00ebngjes. Un\u00eb do t\u00eb p\u00ebrgjigjem nga k\u00ebndv\u00ebshtrimi im dhe, natyrisht, Elaine (Elen) nga i saj. S\u00eb pari – n\u00ebse ke r\u00ebn\u00eb n\u00eb dashuri – \u00ebsht\u00eb nj\u00eb gj\u00eb e bukur, ndoshta m\u00eb e mira, q\u00eb mund t\u2019i ndodh\u00eb nj\u00eb njeriu. Mos lejo q\u00eb dikush t\u2019ia ul\u00eb vler\u00ebn ndjenjave tua ose t\u2019i b\u00ebj\u00eb ato m\u00eb pak t\u00eb r\u00ebnd\u00ebsishme.<\/p>\n

E dyta, ka shum\u00eb lloje t\u00eb dashurive. E para \u00ebsht\u00eb egoiste, meskine, posesive, narciste, e cila p\u00ebrdor dashurin\u00eb p\u00ebr afirmimin e vetvetes. Ajo \u00ebsht\u00eb e sh\u00ebmtuar dhe shtang\u00ebse. Tjetra \u00ebsht\u00eb lirimi i gjith\u00e7kaje q\u00eb \u00ebsht\u00eb e mir\u00eb n\u00eb ty: mir\u00ebsi, konsiderat\u00eb dhe respekt.<\/p>\n

Un\u00eb nuk jam duke folur vet\u00ebm p\u00ebr respektin social me sjellje fisnike, por respektin n\u00eb kuptimin m\u00eb t\u00eb lart\u00eb, dometh\u00ebn\u00eb pranimi i nj\u00eb personi si nj\u00ebsor (unik) dhe i \u00e7muar.<\/p>\n

Dashuria e llojit t\u00eb par\u00eb mund t\u00eb t\u00eb b\u00ebj\u00eb t\u00eb s\u00ebmur\u00eb, t\u00eb vog\u00ebl dhe t\u00eb dob\u00ebt, por ajo e llojit t\u00eb dyt\u00eb, mund t\u00eb t\u00eb jap\u00eb forc\u00eb, kuraj\u00eb, mir\u00ebsi dhe madje edhe men\u00e7uri, t\u00eb cilat as ti nuk e dije, se i kishe.<\/p>\n

Ti thua se nuk \u00ebsht\u00eb nj\u00eb dashuri\u00e7k\u00eb djaloshare. N\u00ebse e ndien k\u00ebt\u00eb ndjenj\u00eb kaq thell\u00eb, sigurisht q\u00eb nuk \u00ebsht\u00eb e atill\u00eb. Por nuk besoj se po m\u00eb pyet mua se \u00e7far\u00eb po ndien ti. Ti e di m\u00eb mir\u00eb se kushdo tjet\u00ebr. Ti d\u00ebshironi ndihm\u00eb p\u00ebr t\u00eb kuptuar se \u00e7far\u00eb t\u00eb b\u00ebsh me k\u00ebto ndjenja, dhe un\u00eb mund t\u00eb them k\u00ebt\u00eb:<\/p>\n

Shijo k\u00ebt\u00eb dashuri, ji i lumtur dhe mir\u00ebnjoh\u00ebs q\u00eb po e p\u00ebrjeton. Objekti i dashuris\u00eb \u00ebsht\u00eb m\u00eb i miri dhe m\u00eb i bukuri. P\u00ebrpiqu t\u00eb jesh i denj\u00eb p\u00ebr t\u00eb. N\u00ebse e do dik\u00eb, nuk ka asgj\u00eb t\u00eb keqe ta thuash at\u00eb. Vet\u00ebm mos harro se disa njer\u00ebz jan\u00eb shum\u00eb t\u00eb ndrojtur dhe nganj\u00ebher\u00eb, duhet t\u00eb marr\u00ebsh parasysh k\u00ebt\u00eb ndrojtje para se t\u00eb shpreh\u00ebsh ndjenjat tua.<\/p>\n

Vajzat kan\u00eb nj\u00eb mund\u00ebsi p\u00ebr t\u00eb kuptuar ose p\u00ebr t\u00eb ndier at\u00eb q\u00eb ti ndien, por ato zakonisht duan edhe ta d\u00ebgjojn\u00eb t\u2019u thuhet. Ndonj\u00ebher\u00eb ndodh q\u00eb p\u00ebr ndonj\u00eb arsye, ajo q\u00eb ndien ti, nuk \u00ebsht\u00eb e nd\u00ebrsjell\u00eb, por kjo nuk i b\u00ebn ndjenjat tua m\u00eb pak t\u00eb mira, apo m\u00eb pak t\u00eb \u00e7mueshme. N\u00eb fund, un\u00eb e njoh k\u00ebt\u00eb ndjenj\u00eb, sepse edhe un\u00eb e ndiej p\u00ebrs\u00ebri at\u00eb dhe g\u00ebzohem q\u00eb po e ndien edhe ti.<\/p>\n

Ne mezi presim ta takojm\u00eb dhe t\u00eb njohim Susan-\u00ebn (Suzan\u00ebn). Ajo \u00ebsht\u00eb p\u00ebrzem\u00ebrsisht e mir\u00ebseardhur. Por Elaine do t\u00eb jet\u00eb ajo q\u00eb do t\u00eb organizoj\u00eb gjith\u00e7ka, sepse \u00ebsht\u00eb domeni i saj dhe do t\u00eb jet\u00eb e lumtur p\u00ebr t\u2019u kujdesur p\u00ebr ecurin\u00eb. Edhe ajo e njeh dashurin\u00eb dhe mbase, mund t\u00eb t\u00eb ndihmoj\u00eb m\u00eb shum\u00eb se un\u00eb. Dhe mos ki frik\u00eb nga humbja. N\u00ebse kjo \u00ebsht\u00eb gj\u00ebja e duhur, do t\u00eb ndodh\u00eb. Gj\u00ebja m\u00eb e r\u00ebnd\u00ebsishme \u00ebsht\u00eb mosnxitimi. Gj\u00ebrat e bukura nuk zhduken leht\u00eb.<\/p>\n

Me gjith\u00eb dashurin\u00eb time<\/p>\n

Babi<\/p>\n

\n

John Steinbeck, 1902 – 1968 \u00ebsht\u00eb shkrimtar amerikan dhe fitues i \u00c7mimit Nobel p\u00ebr Let\u00ebrsi n\u00eb vitin 1961.<\/em><\/p>\n

Nga fr\u00ebngjishtja Lis Bukuroca<\/p>\n

N\u00eb jet\u00eb duhet t\u00eb kemi parasysh vet\u00ebm emocionet e njer\u00ebzve t\u00eb dashur, jo mendimet e turm\u00ebs jasht\u00eb, q\u00eb duke u marr\u00eb me ngjarjet e huaja, i shp\u00ebrfill telashet e veta. Kur ty nuk t\u00eb intereson se \u00e7far\u00eb mendon bota, at\u00ebher\u00eb je vetvetja! At\u00ebher\u00eb do t\u00eb jetosh si mendon ti dhe jo si pret masa. T\u00eb pranohet dashuria e bij\u00ebs dhe djalit, dometh\u00ebn\u00eb t\u00eb pranohet mosha e tyre; t\u00eb pranohet zhvillimi normal dhe i sh\u00ebndosh\u00eb. <\/em>Mos pengo dashurin<\/em>\u00eb<\/em> e <\/em>f\u00ebmij\u00ebve<\/em>. Ata duhet t<\/em>\u00eb<\/em> m\u00ebsohen<\/em> para <\/em>martes\u00ebs<\/em> p\u00ebr<\/em> ruajtjen e bashk\u00ebshort\u00ebsis\u00eb dhe familje<\/em>s.<\/em><\/p>\n

Si ky baba duhet t\u00eb reagoj\u00eb \u00e7do baba q\u00eb i do f\u00ebmij\u00ebt e vet dhe t\u00eb \u00e7moj\u00eb pasionin, dashurin\u00eb dhe orientimin edhe seksual t\u00eb f\u00ebmij\u00ebs! Dikur mendonim se gazohej n\u00ebse bija, apo motra dashurohej, sot e kuptojm\u00eb se bijat e motrat nuk kishin gazuar me dashurit e tyre, por kishim gazuar ne v\u00ebllez\u00ebrit dhe prind\u00ebrit me ndalimin e dashuris\u00eb. <\/em><\/p>\n

Ne kemi dy mund\u00ebsi: ose t\u00eb mburren me ne f\u00ebmij\u00ebt tan\u00eb, ose t\u00eb mburret me ne turma! N\u00ebse e ruajm\u00eb at\u00eb ftyr\u00eb q\u00eb mendojm\u00eb se e kemi para bot\u00ebs, at\u00ebher\u00eb do t\u00eb shohim ma von\u00eb,\u00a0 se ftyr\u00ebn e kemi humbur para f\u00ebmij\u00ebve tan\u00eb duke ia ndaluar dashurin\u00eb: emocionin m\u00eb fisnik q\u00eb ndien njeriu n\u00eb jet\u00eb!<\/em><\/p>\n

Pra, ose gazohet ndaj bot\u00ebs, ose ndaj f\u00ebmij\u00ebs. N\u00ebse ia ndalon \u00e7ik\u00ebs, apo i djalit dashurin\u00eb, nuk ke asnj\u00eb t\u00eb drejt\u00eb nes\u00ebr t\u2019i k\u00ebrkosh nj\u00eb ndihm\u00eb, sepse ti ke luftuar dashurin\u00eb e saj, tani i vjen asaj apo atij radha t\u00eb luftoj\u00eb nevoj\u00ebn t\u00ebnde p\u00ebr dashuri dhe kujdestari! Sepse ti ke ke m\u00ebsuar si m\u00eb i fortoi ka t\u00eb drejt\u00eb! Tash ti je i dob\u00ebt!<\/em><\/p>\n

Mos pengo dashurin\u00eb e f\u00ebmij\u00ebve, pse flasin fqinj\u00ebt e rrethi. Ata flasin e shpifin edhe kur ti nuk b\u00ebn asgj\u00eb! Nj\u00eb dit\u00eb ata pushojn\u00eb, por dit\u00ebn tjet\u00ebr, ndihet krenar f\u00ebmija jot me ty, sepse e ke kuptuar dashurin\u00eb e tij: rritjen e tij dhe e ke m\u00ebsuar se dashuria \u00ebsht\u00eb m\u00eb\u00a0 e r\u00ebnd\u00ebsishmja n\u00eb jet\u00eb dhe kur\u00a0 ai ose ajo e b\u00ebn zgjedhjen, dometh\u00ebn\u00eb \u00ebsht\u00eb ajo ose ai \u00ebsht\u00eb rritur dhe mund t\u00eb p\u00ebrballet me jet\u00ebn vet. Dometh\u00ebn\u00eb e ke edukuar si duhet: t\u00eb jet\u00eb i pavarur!<\/em><\/p>\n

Prindi i mir\u00eb jeton koh\u00ebn e f\u00ebmij\u00ebve jo koh\u00ebn e atit t\u00eb vet! Bota duhet t\u00eb ec\u00ebn para, njeriu duhet t\u00eb ndryshoj\u00eb, si\u00e7 ndryshojn\u00eb ligjet!<\/em><\/p>\n

P<\/em>\u00eb<\/em>r t<\/em>\u2019<\/em>u mos b<\/em>\u00eb<\/em>r<\/em>\u00eb <\/em>baba i lig, lexo librin <\/em>\u201eLet<\/em>\u00eb<\/em>r burrave I<\/em>\u201c<\/em> dhe \u201eLet<\/em>\u00eb<\/em>r burrave II<\/em>\u201c<\/em>.<\/em><\/p>\n

P<\/em>\u00eb<\/em>r t<\/em>\u00eb <\/em>kuptuar ecurin<\/em>\u00eb <\/em>e dashuris<\/em>\u00eb <\/em>nga lindja deri n<\/em>\u00eb vdekje, edhe rreziqet brenda asaj periudhe, lexo librin me poezi: <\/em>\u201eShtat<\/em>\u00eb <\/em>parimet e dashuris<\/em>\u00eb\u201c<\/em>.<\/em><\/p>\n

N<\/em>\u00eb<\/em>se t<\/em>\u00eb <\/em>intereson erotika, at<\/em>\u00eb<\/em>her<\/em>\u00eb <\/em>lexoje romanin \u201eNgjyrat e dashuris<\/em>\u00eb\u201c<\/em>.
\n<\/em>Me tematik<\/em>\u00eb <\/em>politike, dashurie dhe leht<\/em>\u00eb <\/em>erotike, librin me poezi, “Hijedritat e jet<\/em>\u00eb<\/em>s”.<\/em><\/p>\n

Ps: Libri KUPTIMI I JET\u00cbS me diku 130 rr<\/em>\u00eb<\/em>fenja me pedagogji praktike, <\/em>\u00ebsht\u00eb <\/em>n<\/em>\u00eb <\/em>p<\/em>\u00eb<\/em>rfundim e sip<\/em>\u00eb<\/em>r. Do t<\/em>\u00eb <\/em>ket<\/em>\u00eb <\/em>pak m<\/em>\u00eb <\/em>shum<\/em>\u00eb <\/em>se 300 faqe dhe aty gjenden edhe disa zbulime t<\/em>\u00eb <\/em>psikologjis<\/em>\u00eb<\/em>, q<\/em>\u00eb <\/em>sh<\/em>\u00eb<\/em>rbejn<\/em>\u00eb <\/em>p<\/em>\u00eb<\/em>r t<\/em>\u00eb <\/em>kompletuar njeriun e mir<\/em>\u00eb<\/em>, t<\/em>\u00eb <\/em>lumtur dhe t<\/em>\u00eb <\/em>suksessh<\/em>\u00eb<\/em>m. Me at<\/em>\u00eb <\/em>lib<\/em>\u00eb<\/em>r synohet edukimi m<\/em>\u00eb <\/em>i mir<\/em>\u00eb <\/em>dhe m\u00eb i suksessh\u00ebm i f<\/em>\u00eb<\/em>mij<\/em>\u00eb<\/em>s. N<\/em>\u00eb <\/em>janar do t<\/em>\u00eb <\/em>publikohet.<\/em><\/p>\n

\n

 <\/p>\n

John Steinbeck on Falling in Love: A 1958 Letter<\/a><\/h3>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Lis Bukuroca Shkrimtari i famsh\u00ebm amerikan, na ofron nj\u00eb v\u00ebshtrim shum\u00eb personal dhe shum\u00eb t\u00eb sinqert\u00eb t\u00eb dashuris\u00eb: nj\u00eb q\u00ebndrim q\u00eb duhet t\u00eb kopjohet. Ai ishte nj\u00eb baba shembullor. Let\u00ebr nga John Steinbeck djalit t\u00eb tij 14 vje\u00e7ar Nju Jork, 10 n\u00ebntor 1958 I dashur Thom (Tom), ne e mor\u00ebm letr\u00ebn t\u00ebnde k\u00ebt\u00eb m\u00ebngjes. Un\u00eb […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":61742,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[35,8],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-61741","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","category-kulture","category-letersi"],"yoast_head":"\nSi t\u00eb reagohet kur \u00e7ika, apo djali dashurohen? - FJALA e LIR\u00cb<\/title>\n<meta name=\"robots\" content=\"index, follow, max-snippet:-1, max-image-preview:large, max-video-preview:-1\" \/>\n<link rel=\"canonical\" href=\"https:\/\/jehonashqiptare.al\/fjala\/si-te-reagohet-kur-cika-apo-djali-dashurohen\/\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:locale\" content=\"en_US\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:type\" content=\"article\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:title\" content=\"Si t\u00eb reagohet kur \u00e7ika, apo djali dashurohen? - FJALA e LIR\u00cb\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:description\" content=\"Lis Bukuroca Shkrimtari i famsh\u00ebm amerikan, na ofron nj\u00eb v\u00ebshtrim shum\u00eb personal dhe shum\u00eb t\u00eb sinqert\u00eb t\u00eb dashuris\u00eb: nj\u00eb q\u00ebndrim q\u00eb duhet t\u00eb kopjohet. 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Ai ishte nj\u00eb baba shembullor. Let\u00ebr nga John Steinbeck djalit t\u00eb tij 14 vje\u00e7ar Nju Jork, 10 n\u00ebntor 1958 I dashur Thom (Tom), ne e mor\u00ebm letr\u00ebn t\u00ebnde k\u00ebt\u00eb m\u00ebngjes. 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