{"id":68705,"date":"2021-05-17T16:48:01","date_gmt":"2021-05-17T14:48:01","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/fjala.info\/?p=68705"},"modified":"2021-05-17T20:10:48","modified_gmt":"2021-05-17T18:10:48","slug":"martesa-nuk-funksionon-thjesht-pyesni-billin-dhe-melinden-keshtu-qe-me-lejoni-te-paraqes-disa-alternativa","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/jehonashqiptare.al\/fjala\/martesa-nuk-funksionon-thjesht-pyesni-billin-dhe-melinden-keshtu-qe-me-lejoni-te-paraqes-disa-alternativa\/","title":{"rendered":"Martesa nuk funksionon (thjesht pyesni Billin dhe Melind\u00ebn) – k\u00ebshtu q\u00eb m\u00eb lejoni t\u00eb paraqes disa alternativa"},"content":{"rendered":"

Bill dhe Melinda Gates: \u2018Ka vet\u00ebm nj\u00eb p\u00ebrfundim p\u00ebr t\u00eb nxjerr\u00eb nga kjo histori: martesa nuk funksionon.\u2019 Fotografia: Getty Images<\/em><\/span><\/p>\n

Hadley Freeman<\/strong>, The Guardian<\/a> – P\u00ebrktheu Arben \u00c7okaj<\/a><\/strong><\/em><\/p>\n

Un\u00eb e konsideroj iden\u00eb e lidhur ligj\u00ebrisht me partnerin tim n\u00eb m\u00ebnyr\u00eb t\u00eb papranueshme klaustrofobike<\/p><\/blockquote>\n

\"\" \u00cbsht\u00eb th\u00ebn\u00eb shum\u00eb p\u00ebr fundin e martes\u00ebs s\u00eb Bill dhe Melinda Gates, kryesisht nga njer\u00ebz q\u00eb kan\u00eb aq shum\u00eb inteligjenc\u00eb t\u00eb brendshme sa un\u00eb, q\u00eb do t\u00eb thot\u00eb, askush fare. Por me t\u00eb v\u00ebrtet\u00eb ka vet\u00ebm nj\u00eb p\u00ebrfundim p\u00ebr t\u00eb nxjerr\u00eb nga kjo histori: martesa nuk funksionon<\/strong>.<\/p>\n

Shikoni, nuk po them q\u00eb Bill Gates \u00ebsht\u00eb p\u00ebrfaq\u00ebsimi tok\u00ebsor i dashuris\u00eb s\u00eb mish\u00ebruar. Por n\u00ebse dy persona q\u00eb kan\u00eb m\u00eb shum\u00eb sht\u00ebpi sesa shumica e njer\u00ebzve kan\u00eb k\u00ebpuc\u00eb, kan\u00eb m\u00eb shum\u00eb tok\u00eb bujq\u00ebsore se \u00e7do pronar tjet\u00ebr privat n\u00eb SHBA dhe kan\u00eb nj\u00eb avion privat (pa luftuar p\u00ebr fajin e kujt \u00ebsht\u00eb se keni humbur fluturimin kur zot\u00ebroni avionin!) nuk do t\u00eb arrij\u00eb ta mbaj\u00eb martes\u00ebn, kush mundet?<\/p>\n

Sigurisht, ka m\u00eb shum\u00eb nj\u00eb martes\u00eb e suksesshme sesa parat\u00eb, si\u00e7 jan\u00eb p\u00ebrvojat e ndara. Epo, Bill dhe Melinda vaksinuan bot\u00ebn. Kjo duket si di\u00e7ka q\u00eb mund ta lidhni, apo jo? “Hej zem\u00ebr, e mban mend at\u00eb koh\u00eb kur kemi zhdukur poliomelitin?<\/em>” Kjo duhet t\u00eb jet\u00eb m\u00eb mir\u00eb sesa t\u00eb rikujtojm\u00eb pushimet e fundit q\u00eb keni b\u00ebr\u00eb para se t\u00eb lindnin f\u00ebmij\u00ebt, si\u00e7 b\u00ebjm\u00eb ne t\u00eb tjer\u00ebt. A nuk u dha atyre nj\u00eb ndjenj\u00eb t\u00eb ngroht\u00eb dhe t\u00eb paqart\u00eb brenda? P\u00ebrgjigja, si\u00e7 e dim\u00eb t\u00eb gjith\u00eb tani, ishte jo.<\/p>\n

Sipas dokumenteve t\u00eb gjykat\u00ebs, martesa e Gates \u00ebsht\u00eb “prishur n\u00eb m\u00ebnyr\u00eb t\u00eb pakthyeshme<\/em>“, dhe duhet t\u00eb prishet, n\u00ebse ata nuk mund t\u00eb durojn\u00eb as iden\u00eb e q\u00ebndrimit t\u00eb martuar, por thjesht t\u00eb jetojn\u00eb n\u00eb sht\u00ebpi t\u00eb ndryshme. A i p\u00ebrmenda ata q\u00eb kan\u00eb shum\u00eb p\u00ebr t\u00eb zgjedhur? Ferr, t\u00eb dy mund t\u00eb jen\u00eb n\u00eb t\u00eb nj\u00ebjt\u00ebn sht\u00ebpi dhe fjal\u00eb p\u00ebr fjal\u00eb nuk e shohin kurr\u00eb nj\u00ebri-tjetrin: dhoma e ngr\u00ebnies n\u00eb sht\u00ebpin\u00eb e tyre n\u00eb Seattle \u00ebsht\u00eb 1.000 metra katror\u00eb, e cila \u00ebsht\u00eb m\u00eb e madhe se \u00e7do banes\u00eb n\u00eb t\u00eb cil\u00ebn kam jetuar ndonj\u00ebher\u00eb.<\/p>\n

Nj\u00eb divorc hiper i shtrenjt\u00eb, dhe un\u00eb nuk i faj\u00ebsoj ata. Mendoj se edhe klaustrofobia \u00ebsht\u00eb e papranueshme p\u00ebr iden\u00eb e lidhjes ligjore me partnerin tim. Ndryshe nga Bill dhe Melinda, sidoqoft\u00eb, un\u00eb gjithmon\u00eb jam ndjer\u00eb k\u00ebshtu dhe ky \u00ebsht\u00eb ndryshimi i vet\u00ebm midis nesh. Epo, kjo dhe miliardat.<\/p>\n

Martesa u shpik p\u00ebrs\u00ebri kur njer\u00ebzit ishin me fat, q\u00eb arrit\u00ebn mosh\u00ebn 20 vje\u00e7 pa u flijuar Zotit t\u00eb Diellit. Njer\u00ebzit nuk kishin p\u00ebr q\u00ebllim t\u00eb jetonin s\u00eb bashku p\u00ebr aq koh\u00eb sa ne tani. Sigurisht, ka disa \u00e7ifte t\u00eb rastit q\u00eb lumturisht shkojn\u00eb n\u00eb distanc\u00eb: Mel Brooks dhe Anne Bancroft, Paul Newman dhe Joanne Woodward. Por pothuajse \u00e7do \u00e7ift q\u00eb m\u00eb dukej perfekt u nda p\u00ebrfundimisht: Helena Bonham Carter dhe Tim Burton; Johnny Depp dhe Vanessa Paradis; Amy Poehler dhe Will Arnett.<\/p>\n

Me siguri q\u00eb t\u00eb gjith\u00eb kemi pasur p\u00ebrvoj\u00ebn kur takoheni me nj\u00eb mik – mikun, martesa 20-vje\u00e7are e t\u00eb cilit ishte gjithmon\u00eb kund\u00ebrshtimi i cinizmit tuaj p\u00ebr institucionin, shoku, fytyra e t\u00eb cilit ende ndri\u00e7on kur bashk\u00ebshorti i tyre vjen n\u00eb dhom\u00eb – dhe ata ju rr\u00ebfejn\u00eb se kan\u00eb nj\u00eb lidhje \/ duke eksploruar seksualitetin e tyre \/ duke u bashkuar me nj\u00eb komun\u00eb \/ t\u00eb gjitha sa m\u00eb sip\u00ebr. Martesa, n\u00eb mish\u00ebrimin e saj aktual, nuk funksionon, dhe kush m\u00eb mir\u00eb se un\u00eb – dikush q\u00eb nuk ka qen\u00eb i martuar p\u00ebrher\u00eb – p\u00ebr t\u00eb dal\u00eb me alternativat?<\/p>\n

1. Vendosni afate ligjore<\/strong>
\nN\u00ebse martesat do t\u00eb zgjasnin, m\u00eb s\u00eb shumti, shtat\u00eb vjet, at\u00ebher\u00eb \u00e7iftet do ta shijonin m\u00eb shum\u00eb koh\u00ebn q\u00eb kan\u00eb s\u00eb bashku. \u00c7iftet q\u00eb nuk jan\u00eb aq t\u00eb lumtur ndoshta mund ta tolerojn\u00eb at\u00eb sa duhet p\u00ebr t\u00eb arritur n\u00eb afatin e duhur pa aktivizuar opsionin e divorcit b\u00ebrthamor, dhe ata q\u00eb thjesht nuk mund t\u00eb ngopen me nj\u00ebri-tjetrin thjesht mund t\u00eb regjistrohen p\u00ebr shtat\u00eb vjet t\u00eb tjera. T\u00eb gjith\u00eb fitojn\u00eb (p\u00ebrve\u00e7 avokat\u00ebve t\u00eb divorcit).<\/p>\n

2. Provoni nj\u00eb \u2018onecule\u2019 (me nj\u00eb partner)<\/strong>
\nNjer\u00ebzit jan\u00eb shum\u00eb n\u00eb polikule k\u00ebto dit\u00eb: grupe njer\u00ebzish q\u00eb jetojn\u00eb s\u00eb bashku dhe tundin nj\u00ebri-tjetrin. Kjo, m\u00eb \u00ebsht\u00eb th\u00ebn\u00eb nga njer\u00ebz shum\u00eb m\u00eb t\u00eb fresk\u00ebt se un\u00eb, \u00ebsht\u00eb qart\u00eb m\u00ebnyra se si duhet t\u00eb jetojn\u00eb njer\u00ebzit, n\u00eb vend t\u00eb monogamis\u00eb monotone. Ndoshta, por vet\u00ebm n\u00ebse mendoni se zgjidhja p\u00ebr t\u00eb luftuar me nj\u00eb foshnj\u00eb \u00ebsht\u00eb t\u00eb keni treshet. N\u00eb vend t\u00eb k\u00ebsaj, un\u00eb propozoj nj\u00eb partner, ku njer\u00ebzit mund t\u00eb jetojn\u00eb vet\u00eb dhe t\u00eb shihen si jasht\u00ebzakonisht t\u00eb ftoht\u00eb p\u00ebr ta b\u00ebr\u00eb k\u00ebt\u00eb.<\/p>\n

3. Bashkohu me nj\u00eb kult<\/strong>
\nKultet duket sikur ato duhet t\u00eb jen\u00eb nj\u00eb p\u00ebrvoj\u00eb lidh\u00ebse p\u00ebr nj\u00eb \u00e7ift – si bashkimi me nj\u00eb klub libri s\u00eb bashku, vet\u00ebm m\u00eb shum\u00eb koh\u00eb – por n\u00eb p\u00ebrgjith\u00ebsi rezulton se kan\u00eb efektin e kund\u00ebrt. Kjo \u00ebsht\u00eb p\u00ebr shkak se kultet pa dyshim q\u00eb rezultojn\u00eb t\u00eb jen\u00eb n\u00eb lidhje me seksin; konkretisht, udh\u00ebheq\u00ebsi i kultit duke b\u00ebr\u00eb seks me k\u00ebdo q\u00eb i p\u00eblqen. Por n\u00ebse \u00e7iftet do t\u00eb mund t\u00eb bashkoheshin me nj\u00eb kult q\u00eb nuk kishte t\u00eb b\u00ebnte me seks, por kujdes falas p\u00ebr f\u00ebmij\u00eb, martesa e tyre do t\u00eb zgjaste p\u00ebrgjithmon\u00eb.<\/p>\n

4. P\u00ebrqafoni rregullin e ri prej gjasht\u00eb martesave<\/strong>
\nB\u00ebni si Henry VIII dhe martohuni gjasht\u00eb her\u00eb. Punoi p\u00ebr t\u00eb (p\u00ebrfundimisht).<\/p>\n

5. Thjesht mos e b\u00ebj<\/strong>
\nUn\u00eb dhe partneri im kemi qen\u00eb bashk\u00eb p\u00ebr nj\u00eb dekad\u00eb dhe nuk jemi t\u00eb martuar, q\u00eb do t\u00eb thot\u00eb se nuk do t\u00eb divorcohemi kurr\u00eb. Sa her\u00eb q\u00eb ai del n\u00eb dyqan, nuk kam si ta di n\u00ebse do t\u00eb kthehet ndonj\u00ebher\u00eb, sepse ai nuk \u00ebsht\u00eb n\u00eb zinxhirin e martes\u00ebs. Ai ndoshta do – kemi tre f\u00ebmij\u00eb – por mbase nuk do ta b\u00ebj\u00eb. \u00cbsht\u00eb emocionuese! I mban gj\u00ebrat pikante. Dhe ky \u00ebsht\u00eb sekreti i v\u00ebrtet\u00eb p\u00ebr jet\u00ebgjat\u00ebsin\u00eb.<\/p>\n