{"id":7269,"date":"2016-10-04T20:52:40","date_gmt":"2016-10-04T19:52:40","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.fjala.info\/?p=7269"},"modified":"2021-05-05T22:30:18","modified_gmt":"2021-05-05T20:30:18","slug":"ankthi-roman-nga-kozeta-zavalani","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/jehonashqiptare.al\/fjala\/ankthi-roman-nga-kozeta-zavalani\/","title":{"rendered":"Ankthi – roman nga Kozeta Zavalani"},"content":{"rendered":"

KOZETA ZAVALANI<\/strong><\/p>\n

Po ju percjell nje fragment nga romani “ANKTHI”… per te pasur shprese per sherim, me dashurine per jeten… Tetori-muaji kunder Kancerit te Gjirit.<\/em><\/p>\n

* * *<\/p>\n

N\u00eb spital mb\u00ebrrijn\u00eb para kohe dhe hyjn\u00eb t\u00eb dy n\u00eb dhom\u00ebn e mjekut. Infermierja u tha t\u00eb uleshin sa mjeku t\u00eb vinte me p\u00ebrgjigjen. Klara donte t\u00eb ishte vet\u00ebm, por Besmiri kishte k\u00ebmb\u00ebngulur dhe ajo nuk e kishte kund\u00ebrshtuar. Klara nuk e fshihte m\u00eb shqet\u00ebsimin dhe ankthin. I shtr\u00ebngoi dor\u00ebn Mirit, duke m\u00ebrm\u00ebritur si me vete:<\/p>\n

– Dy fjal\u00eb, si m\u00eb ke th\u00ebn\u00eb ti, vet\u00ebm dy fjal\u00eb, q\u00eb do ta ndryshojn\u00eb jet\u00ebn time p\u00ebrgjithmon\u00eb. Por nuk pati koh\u00eb t\u00eb mendoj\u00eb m\u00eb tep\u00ebr, sepse mjeku hyri n\u00eb dhom\u00eb. Ajo u \u00e7ua he i dha dor\u00ebn, duke i prezantuar Besmirin. – G\u00ebzohem q\u00eb jeni s\u00eb bashku me Klar\u00ebn sot, – thot\u00eb
\nmjeku.<\/p>\n

– Pse, apo q\u00eb rezultatin t\u2019ia thoni atij dhe jo mua? Ma thoni doktor, un\u00eb tashm\u00eb u m\u00ebsova me lajme t\u00eb k\u00ebqija. – Jo. Nuk ka lidhje fare me rezultatin. M\u00eb vjen mir\u00eb q\u00eb, ti ke pranuar t\u2019i hapesh dikujt, q\u00eb besoj se do t\u00eb shoq\u00ebroj\u00eb gjat\u00eb, sepse do t\u00eb duhet t\u00eb vish shpesh k\u00ebtu dhe un\u00eb e kam pritur k\u00ebt\u00eb.<\/p>\n

– P\u00ebr t\u00eb gjith\u00eb jet\u00ebn, doktor! – flet me vendosm\u00ebri dhe pa asnj\u00eb shqet\u00ebsim Besmiri, duke iu drejtuar mjekut. Vet\u00ebm na thuaj se \u00e7far\u00eb duhet t\u00eb b\u00ebjm\u00eb.<\/p>\n

– Gjendja \u00ebsht\u00eb shum\u00eb m\u00eb mir\u00eb nga sa e prisnim, urime Klara, g\u00ebzohem shum\u00eb me k\u00ebt\u00eb reagim t\u00eb organizmit t\u00ebnd!
\nDometh\u00ebn\u00eb q\u00eb nuk do t\u00eb vdes?! – Dhe ajo nuk e p\u00ebrmban g\u00ebzimin. P\u00ebrqafon n\u00eb fillim mjekun, pastaj Besmirin, i cili i thot\u00eb:<\/p>\n

– T\u00eb thash\u00eb, q\u00eb duhet t\u00eb m\u00eb merrje me vete, sepse do t\u00eb t\u00eb sillja fat.<\/p>\n

– Po, shpirt, dhe un\u00eb t\u00eb besova. \u00c7far\u00eb duhet t\u00eb b\u00ebj doktor?<\/p>\n

– P\u00ebr nj\u00eb muaj mendoj t\u00eb pushosh, sikur t\u00eb mos kesh asnj\u00eb kimioterapi, pas nj\u00eb muaji takohemi p\u00ebrs\u00ebri. Ti e di e \u00e7far\u00eb duhet t\u00eb besh kujdes te vetja! Kam besim te ty! Kalofshi sa m\u00eb mir\u00eb, deri n\u00eb kontrollin e ardhsh\u00ebm!<\/p>\n

– Eja, t\u00eb t\u00eb p\u00ebrqafoj edhe nj\u00ebher\u00eb, eja se qenkam e lir\u00eb, t\u00eb pakt\u00ebn p\u00ebr nj\u00eb muaj. Oh, \u00e7far\u00eb leht\u00ebsimi! – i thot\u00eb ajo Besmirit, porsa largohet doktori dhe lot g\u00ebzimi i rrjedhin syve t\u00eb bukur.<\/p>\n

– Po bukuroshja ime, edhe un\u00eb do t\u00eb p\u00ebrqafoj! Ku d\u00ebshiron t\u00eb shkojm\u00eb? Do ta festojm\u00eb sot! M\u00eb thuaj \u00e7far\u00eb d\u00ebshiron t\u00eb b\u00ebsh dhe un\u00eb do t\u00eb bindem.<\/p>\n

– M\u00eb fal q\u00eb nuk do t\u00eb festojm\u00eb, sot! Fillimisht le t\u00eb njoftojm\u00eb tim v\u00eblla dhe Marian\u00ebn. Pastaj, meq\u00eb d\u00ebshiron t\u00eb b\u00ebjm\u00eb \u00e7far\u00eb dua un\u00eb, po t\u00eb them se, nuk do t\u00eb d\u00ebshiroja gj\u00eb tjet\u00ebr sot, ve\u00e7se t\u00eb shijoj qet\u00ebsin\u00eb. U b\u00ebn\u00eb shum\u00eb muaj q\u00eb nuk fle nj\u00eb nat\u00eb e qet\u00eb, q\u00eb kam vet\u00ebm ankthe e shqet\u00ebsime nga kimioterapia, aq sa m\u00eb duket \u00e7udi, q\u00eb do t\u00eb mund t\u00eb fle, sepse vet\u00ebm k\u00ebt\u00eb d\u00ebshiroj; t\u00eb fle! Po, po, t\u00eb fle, pa pasur frik\u00ebn se, do t\u00eb m\u00eb dal\u00eb gjumi pas or\u00ebs 2.00 nga ankthi i ndonj\u00eb \u00ebndrre t\u00eb tmerrshme.<\/p>\n

– Pse, k\u00ebshtu ka qen\u00eb \u00e7do nat\u00eb me ty, zem\u00ebr? Ndaj nuk\u00a0pranoje t\u00eb flija me ty, por dije se tani nuk do t\u00eb le m\u00eb vet\u00ebm,\u00a0asnj\u00eb nat\u00eb.<\/p>\n

Por ajo sikur t\u00eb mos kishte d\u00ebgjuar asnj\u00eb fjal\u00eb prej tij,\u00a0vazhdonte:<\/p>\n

– Dhe kur t\u00eb ngopem me gjum\u00eb, do t\u00eb udh\u00ebtojm\u00eb s\u00eb\u00a0bashku n\u00ebp\u00ebr t\u00eb gjitha kullat e larta t\u00eb bot\u00ebs.<\/p>\n

* * *<\/p>\n

P\u00ebrtej der\u00ebs s\u00eb ballkonit gjethet e plepave duken sikur\u00a0notojn\u00eb midis tisit t\u00eb nat\u00ebs n\u00ebn val\u00ebvitjen e er\u00ebs. N\u00eb dhom\u00eb\u00a0hyn nj\u00eb drit\u00eb e zbeht\u00eb p\u00ebrmes rrezeve t\u00eb h\u00ebn\u00ebs, q\u00eb l\u00ebkundet\u00a0s\u00eb bashku me hijet e drur\u00ebve.<\/p>\n

Klara d\u00ebgjon n\u00eb CD k\u00ebng\u00ebtaren Dido me \u201cLife for rent\u201d\u00a0t\u00eb cil\u00ebn e p\u00eblqen aq shum\u00eb, sa e k\u00ebndon edhe vet\u00eb, duke i\u00a0r\u00ebn\u00eb kitar\u00ebs. Z\u00ebrit t\u00eb saj i bashkohet edhe Miri, ndon\u00ebse n\u00eb\u00a0k\u00ebto momente do t\u00eb donte t\u00eb k\u00ebndonte nj\u00eb k\u00ebng\u00eb optimiste:\u00a0Un\u00eb gjithmon\u00eb mendoja, se do t\u00eb doja shum\u00eb, t\u00eb jetoja\u00a0pran\u00eb detit, t\u00eb udh\u00ebtoja mbar\u00eb bot\u00ebs e vetme dhe t\u00eb jetoja\u00a0m\u00eb thjesht.<\/p>\n

Nuk e kam iden\u00eb se, \u00e7far\u00eb i ndodhi k\u00ebsaj \u00ebndrre…- dhe\u00a0Besmiri nuk vazhdon m\u00eb tej me tekstin q\u00eb k\u00ebndon Dido, po\u00a0sajon nj\u00eb tekst tjet\u00ebr me k\u00ebt\u00eb p\u00ebrfundim:<\/p>\n

\u201cSepse n\u00eb t\u00eb v\u00ebrtet\u00eb nuk ka asgj\u00eb q\u00eb t\u00eb na ndaloj\u00eb,\u00a0Sepse ne t\u00eb dy s\u00eb bashku \u00e7do penges\u00eb do t\u00eb kalojm\u00eb\u00a0dhe p\u00ebrjet\u00eb n\u00eb lumturi do t\u00eb jetojm\u00eb…\u201d<\/p>\n

– T\u00eb lumt\u00eb goja! – i thot\u00eb Klara dhe p\u00ebrs\u00ebrisin edhe nj\u00ebher\u00eb s\u00eb bashku tekstin e sajuar.<\/p>\n

Kjo k\u00ebng\u00eb melankolike, q\u00eb dikur i sillte trishtim, tani \u00e7udit\u00ebrisht i ngjall optimiz\u00ebm. K\u00ebshtu u gdhi m\u00ebngjesi. Kishte jetuar edhe nj\u00eb dit\u00eb m\u00eb shum\u00eb, madje shum\u00eb t\u00eb bukur. Nd\u00ebrkoh\u00eb vazhdon normalisht pun\u00ebn e dit\u00ebs dhe shkon n\u00eb gjimnastik\u00eb tri her\u00eb n\u00eb jav\u00eb, ashtu si\u00e7 ka b\u00ebr\u00eb gjithmon\u00eb, para se t\u00eb fillonte kimioterapin\u00eb. Ndihet shum\u00eb m\u00eb mir\u00eb. I merret fryma m\u00eb pak dhe ndien se trupi po i b\u00ebhet m\u00eb i fuqish\u00ebm. P\u00ebr t\u2019i provuar vetes q\u00eb nuk \u00ebsht\u00eb e s\u00ebmur\u00eb, nis e thot\u00eb se ka filluar t\u00eb shtoj\u00eb n\u00eb pesh\u00eb.<\/p>\n

Vdekja! Ajo ndoshta nuk do t\u00eb guxoj\u00eb t\u00eb trokas\u00eb m\u00eb n\u00eb shpirtin e saj, do ta l\u00ebr\u00eb t\u00eb qet\u00eb, deri sa t\u00eb jet\u00eb mbi t\u00eb tet\u00ebdhjetat, si\u00e7 rrojn\u00eb t\u00eb gjith\u00eb njer\u00ebzit normal\u00eb. At\u00ebher\u00eb le t\u00eb vij\u00eb, kur t\u00eb d\u00ebshiroj\u00eb! Klara e di tashm\u00eb se, nuk ia ka frik\u00ebn. Gjen koh\u00eb p\u00ebr miqt\u00eb, sikund\u00ebr \u00ebsht\u00eb m\u00eb e kujdesshme n\u00eb biseda e takime si dikur. N\u00ebse dikush e trajton pa respekt, ajo e braktis, ashtu si shqet\u00ebsimet e saj.<\/p>\n

Ajo fal\u00ebnderon Zotin, p\u00ebr ndjenj\u00ebn m\u00eb t\u00eb bukur dashurin\u00eb, q\u00eb lul\u00ebzon n\u00eb shpirtin e saj duke kujtuar th\u00ebnien mbi dashurin\u00eb nga romani \u201cLufta dhe Paqja\u201d i Leon Tolstoit: \u201cDashuria i v\u00eb gardhe vdekjes. Dashuria \u00ebsht\u00eb jet\u00eb. Gjith\u00e7ka, gjith\u00e7ka q\u00eb un\u00eb kuptoj, e kuptoj vet\u00ebm sepse dashuroj. Gjith\u00e7ka \u00ebsht\u00eb e kufizuar vet\u00ebm nga dashuria. Dashuria \u00ebsht\u00eb Zoti, dhe t\u00eb vdes\u00ebsh do t\u00eb thot\u00eb p\u00ebr mua, nj\u00eb grimc\u00eb dashurie t\u00eb kthehet mbrapsht tek origjina universale dhe e p\u00ebrjetshme e dashuris\u00eb\u201d.<\/p>\n

Nj\u00eb ide sa e pamundur, po aq edhe e bukur nis e form\u00ebsohet n\u00eb kok\u00ebn e saj. I lutet Zotit q\u00eb porsa t\u00eb mbaroj\u00eb kimioterapin\u00eb, t\u00eb ngelet shtatz\u00ebn\u00eb e t\u00eb b\u00ebhet me f\u00ebmij\u00eb. Dhe n\u00eb vesh\u00eb i jehon s\u00ebrish Dido me k\u00ebng\u00ebn e saj \u201cLife for rent\u201d, tashm\u00eb me tekstin e ndryshuar, q\u00eb p\u00ebrshkonte gjith\u00eb ajrin e dhom\u00ebs e shp\u00ebrndahej larg n\u00eb det e n\u00eb qiell.<\/p>\n

Per ndergjegjesimin kunder Kancerit te Gjirit, po ju percjell nje fragment nga romani “ANKTHI”….Nga kaseta ting\u00ebllon melodia e k\u00ebng\u00ebs \u201cLife for rent\u201d nga k\u00ebng\u00ebtarja Dido, q\u00eb asaj i p\u00eblqen shum\u00eb. E merr magnetofonin me vete dhe del, duke ecur si maj\u00eb nj\u00eb ure t\u00eb harkuar, me tela. Vazhdon t\u00eb marr\u00eb compazine sipas udh\u00ebzimeve t\u00eb mjekut, \u00e7do tet\u00eb or\u00eb. T\u00eb diel\u00ebn n\u00eb mesdit\u00eb nuk ishte e qet\u00eb. Kok\u00ebn e ndien t\u00eb r\u00ebnd\u00eb, sikur ta ken\u00eb goditur me nj\u00eb \u00e7eki\u00e7 t\u00eb mbuluar me peshqir.<\/p>\n

N\u00eb t\u00eb nj\u00ebjt\u00ebn koh\u00eb sikur ndien gjithnj\u00eb e m\u00eb tep\u00ebr ankth dhe ngutje. Ka nevoj\u00eb t\u00eb flej\u00eb, por kur shtrihet n\u00eb shtrat, sheh makthe t\u00eb tmerrshme. E p\u00ebrndjekin vazhdimisht. Dhe ajo nuk di se ku ta fus\u00eb kok\u00ebn. Sheh veten t\u00eb k\u00ebrcej\u00eb nga dritarja e katit t\u00eb dymb\u00ebdhjet\u00eb. Dhe nuk vritet. Zemra i rreh fort, vrapon si e \u00e7mendur dhe djersitet aq shum\u00eb, sikur t\u00eb ket\u00eb ndenjur mbi nj\u00eb kazan me uj\u00eb q\u00eb vlon. Ngrihet p\u00ebrs\u00ebri. U hedh nj\u00eb sy sh\u00ebnimeve, q\u00eb doktoresha i ka dh\u00ebn\u00eb. Asgj\u00eb nga k\u00ebto q\u00eb ndien, nuk sh\u00ebnohen n\u00eb list\u00eb.<\/p>\n

Vet\u00ebm diku flitet p\u00ebr nj\u00eb lodhje rraskapit\u00ebse. Nuk ka ndonj\u00eb kart\u00eb informacioni mbi compazin\u00ebn. Me trupin e r\u00ebnduar zvarritet drejt raftit t\u00eb librave, t\u00ebrheq manualin e tabletave dhe k\u00ebrkon t\u00eb m\u00ebsoj\u00eb p\u00ebr compazin\u00ebn. Nuk ka par\u00eb kurr\u00eb kaq efekte t\u00eb mundshme an\u00ebsore. Reaksione skizofrenike, lodhje, letargji, munges\u00eb qet\u00ebsie, hiperveprimtari t\u00eb metabolizmit. Nat\u00ebn zhytet n\u00eb konfuzion, \u00ebndrra t\u00eb \u00e7uditshme, zgjohet, pastaj e ka t\u00eb pamundur p\u00ebr t\u00eb fjetur. Ndien depresion dhe eufori nj\u00ebkoh\u00ebsisht. E nervozuar n\u00eb kulm i th\u00ebrret doktoresh\u00ebs n\u00eb telefon. Por ajo e qet\u00ebson. – E di si ndihesh.<\/p>\n

\u00cbsht\u00eb nj\u00eb ndjenj\u00eb ankthi, q\u00eb nuk t\u00eb le t\u00eb qet\u00eb dhe t\u00eb b\u00ebn t\u00eb ndihesh, sikur do t\u00eb dal\u00ebsh nga l\u00ebkura jote, – i thot\u00eb ajo dhe vazhdon: – Oh po, duhet t\u00eb jet\u00eb compazine. Plot t\u00eb tjer\u00eb reagojn\u00eb k\u00ebshtu, por nuk duhet t\u00eb kesh frik\u00eb, duhet t\u00eb pushosh s\u00eb menduari keq. As fjal\u00ebt e doktoresh\u00ebs nuk e qet\u00ebsojn\u00eb aspak. P\u00ebrs\u00ebri ndien sikur i kan\u00eb veshur nj\u00eb k\u00ebmish\u00eb t\u00eb hekurt, e cila nuk e lejon t\u00eb l\u00ebviz\u00eb as gishtin e vog\u00ebl.<\/p>\n

Gjith\u00e7ka brenda saj sikur bymehet e rrath\u00eb t\u00eb hekurt i shtypnin kockat, nd\u00ebrsa gjaku i pikon mbi qilimin e gjelb\u00ebr. Kishte iden\u00eb se kjo s\u00ebmundje aq e lodhshme, e \u00e7onte deri n\u00eb kufirin e humbjes s\u00eb shpres\u00ebs. Tronditja q\u00eb i vinte nga e gjith\u00eb kjo, sikur e b\u00ebnte trupin e saj, t\u00eb endej n\u00eb nj\u00eb bosht t\u00eb lemerish\u00ebm, di\u00e7ka midis \u00ebndrr\u00ebs e zhgj\u00ebndrr\u00ebs, midis purgatorit e ferrit, midis nj\u00eb vullkani q\u00eb digjej e nuk shp\u00ebrthente dot.<\/p>\n

Ndiente k\u00ebshtu zemr\u00ebn t\u2019i cop\u00ebtohej, n\u00ebn kafshime shpirti, aq t\u00eb l\u00ebnduar sa, ideja e vet\u00ebvrasjes sillej mbi kok\u00ebn e saj, si nj\u00eb re e zez\u00eb e k\u00ebrc\u00ebnuese. Sheh me sy t\u00eb mjegulluar. N\u00eb mes t\u00eb trajtimit ka nxeht\u00ebsi. Ato afshet e nxehta, vullkanike, i vijn\u00eb sidomos n\u00eb mes t\u00eb nat\u00ebs. Kur zgjohet e djersir\u00eb, ka nj\u00eb hutim t\u00eb habitsh\u00ebm. Mendon se, ndoshta, jan\u00eb l\u00ebn\u00eb hapur radiator\u00ebt e apartamentit. Kthjellohet. Kujtohet q\u00eb \u00ebsht\u00eb maj dhe radiator\u00ebt jan\u00eb fikur.<\/p>\n

D\u00ebrgoi p\u00ebr publikim: Gjin Musa<\/strong>, gazetar<\/em><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

KOZETA ZAVALANI Po ju percjell nje fragment nga romani “ANKTHI”… per te pasur shprese per sherim, me dashurine per jeten… Tetori-muaji kunder Kancerit te Gjirit. * * * N\u00eb spital mb\u00ebrrijn\u00eb para kohe dhe hyjn\u00eb t\u00eb dy n\u00eb dhom\u00ebn e mjekut. Infermierja u tha t\u00eb uleshin sa mjeku t\u00eb vinte me p\u00ebrgjigjen. Klara donte t\u00eb […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":65578,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[8,11],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-7269","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","category-letersi","category-roman"],"yoast_head":"\nAnkthi - roman nga Kozeta Zavalani - FJALA e LIR\u00cb<\/title>\n<meta name=\"robots\" content=\"index, follow, max-snippet:-1, max-image-preview:large, max-video-preview:-1\" \/>\n<link rel=\"canonical\" href=\"https:\/\/jehonashqiptare.al\/fjala\/ankthi-roman-nga-kozeta-zavalani\/\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:locale\" content=\"en_US\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:type\" content=\"article\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:title\" content=\"Ankthi - roman nga Kozeta Zavalani - FJALA e LIR\u00cb\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:description\" content=\"KOZETA ZAVALANI Po ju percjell nje fragment nga romani “ANKTHI”… per te pasur shprese per sherim, me dashurine per jeten… Tetori-muaji kunder Kancerit te Gjirit. * * * N\u00eb spital mb\u00ebrrijn\u00eb para kohe dhe hyjn\u00eb t\u00eb dy n\u00eb dhom\u00ebn e mjekut. Infermierja u tha t\u00eb uleshin sa mjeku t\u00eb vinte me p\u00ebrgjigjen. 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