{"id":7836,"date":"2016-10-24T22:16:16","date_gmt":"2016-10-24T21:16:16","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.fjala.info\/?p=7836"},"modified":"2018-03-13T23:38:12","modified_gmt":"2018-03-13T22:38:12","slug":"10-njerezit-toksike-qe-duhet-ti-shmangni-me-cdo-kusht","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/jehonashqiptare.al\/fjala\/10-njerezit-toksike-qe-duhet-ti-shmangni-me-cdo-kusht\/","title":{"rendered":"10 Njer\u00ebzit toksik\u00eb q\u00eb duhet ti shmangni me \u00e7do kusht"},"content":{"rendered":"

Nga Dr. Travis Bradberry<\/strong><\/p>\n

Marr\u00eb nga Huffington Post<\/em><\/p>\n

P\u00ebrktheu p\u00ebr Opinion.al<\/a>: Alteo Hysi<\/strong><\/p>\n

* * *<\/p>\n

Njer\u00ebzit toksik\u00eb e mposhtin logjik\u00ebn. Disa jan\u00eb verb\u00ebrisht t\u00eb pav\u00ebmendsh\u00ebm p\u00ebr impaktin negativ, q\u00eb kan\u00eb te personat rreth tyre, nd\u00ebrsa t\u00eb tjer\u00eb duket se marrin k\u00ebnaq\u00ebsi duke krijuar kaos te t\u00eb tjer\u00ebt.<\/p>\n

\u00cbsht\u00eb e r\u00ebnd\u00ebsishme t\u00eb m\u00ebsoni se si t\u2019ia dilni me lloje t\u00eb ndryshme njer\u00ebzish, njer\u00ebzit toksik\u00eb p\u00ebrkeq\u00ebsojn\u00eb koh\u00ebn dhe energjit\u00eb tuaja, dhe ata marrin shum\u00eb nga t\u00eb dyja k\u00ebto.<\/p>\n

Njer\u00ebzit toksik\u00eb krijojn\u00eb kompleksitete t\u00eb panevojshme, konflikte dhe m\u00eb t\u00eb k\u00ebqij\u00ebn nga t\u00eb gjitha: stresin.<\/p>\n

\u201cNjer\u00ebzit ju frym\u00ebzojn\u00eb, ose ju zbrazin – zgjidhini ata men\u00e7urisht<\/em>\u201d – thot\u00eb Hans F. Hansen.<\/p>\n

Aft\u00ebsia p\u00ebr t\u00eb menaxhuar emocionet tuaja dhe t\u00eb q\u00ebndroni t\u00eb qet\u00eb n\u00ebn presion, ka t\u00eb b\u00ebj\u00eb drejtp\u00ebrdrejt\u00eb me performanc\u00ebn tuaj.<\/p>\n

Nj\u00eb studim me mbi nj\u00eb milion njer\u00ebz, gjeti se 90 p\u00ebrqind e p\u00ebrformuesve m\u00eb t\u00eb mir\u00eb n\u00eb jet\u00eb, jan\u00eb st\u00ebrvitur n\u00eb menaxhimin e emocioneve t\u00eb tyre gjat\u00eb periudhave t\u00eb stresuara, duke ruajtur qet\u00ebsin\u00eb dhe kontrollin. Nj\u00eb nga dhuratat e tyre m\u00eb t\u00eb m\u00ebdha \u00ebsht\u00eb aft\u00ebsia p\u00ebr t\u00eb p\u00ebrdorur inteligjenc\u00ebn emocionale, p\u00ebr t\u00eb identifikuar njer\u00ebzit toksik\u00eb dhe p\u00ebrballur ata me qet\u00ebsi.<\/p>\n

Thuhet shpesh se ne jemi produkt i pes\u00eb njer\u00ebzve me t\u00eb cil\u00ebt shoq\u00ebrohemi. N\u00ebse lejoni nj\u00eb nga k\u00ebta pes\u00eb njer\u00ebz t\u00eb jen\u00eb toksik\u00eb, shum\u00eb shpejt do t\u00eb zbuloni se sa i aft\u00eb \u00ebsht\u00eb ai ose ajo p\u00ebr t\u2019ju penguar.<\/p>\n

Ju nuk mund t\u00eb shpresoni q\u00eb t\u00eb distanconi veten nga njer\u00ebzit toksik\u00eb, derisa ta dini kush jan\u00eb ata realisht. Hileja \u00ebsht\u00eb t\u00eb ndani ata q\u00eb jan\u00eb shqet\u00ebsues apo thjesht t\u00eb v\u00ebshtir\u00eb, nga ata q\u00eb jan\u00eb realisht toksik\u00eb. M\u00eb posht\u00eb mund t\u00eb gjeni 10 lloje njer\u00ebzish toksik\u00eb nga t\u00eb cil\u00ebt duhet t\u00eb q\u00ebndroni larg, q\u00eb t\u00eb mos shnd\u00ebrroheni si ata.<\/p>\n

1 – Thashethemexhinjt\u00eb<\/strong><\/p>\n

\u201cMendjet e m\u00ebdha diskutojn\u00eb ide, mesataret diskutojn\u00eb ngjarje, dhe mendjet e vogla diskutojn\u00eb njer\u00ebz<\/em>\u201d – Eleanor Roosvelt.<\/p>\n

Thashethemexhinjt\u00eb p\u00ebrfitojn\u00eb k\u00ebnaq\u00ebsi nga fatkeq\u00ebsit\u00eb e njer\u00ebzve t\u00eb tjer\u00eb. Mund t\u00eb jet\u00eb qejf t\u00eb fus\u00ebsh hund\u00ebt n\u00eb pun\u00ebt personale apo profesionale t\u00eb dikujt, por me kalimin e koh\u00ebs b\u00ebhet e lodhshme, t\u00eb b\u00ebn t\u00eb ndihesh vulgar dhe d\u00ebmton njer\u00ebz t\u00eb tjer\u00eb. Ka shum\u00eb aspekte pozitive q\u00eb mund t\u00eb m\u00ebsoni nga njer\u00ebz interesant\u00eb, n\u00eb vend qe t\u00eb flisni rreth fatkeq\u00ebsive t\u00eb tjetrit.<\/p>\n

2 – Njer\u00ebzit emocional\u00eb<\/strong><\/p>\n

Disa njer\u00ebz nuk kan\u00eb absolutisht kontroll mbi emocionet e tyre. Ata do t’i p\u00ebrplasin ndjenjat e tyre drejt jush duke menduar se ju jeni i vetmi q\u00eb po e shkaktoni pafuqin\u00eb e tyre. Njer\u00ebzit e till\u00eb \u00ebsht\u00eb e v\u00ebshtir\u00eb q\u00eb t’i largoni nga jeta juaj, sepse mungesa e kontrollit t\u00eb tyre mbi veten, ju b\u00ebn t\u00eb ndjeni keqardhje p\u00ebr ta.<\/p>\n

3 – \u201cViktimat\u201d<\/strong><\/p>\n

Njer\u00ebzit q\u00eb viktimizohen \u00ebsht\u00eb v\u00ebshtir\u00eb t’i identifikosh sepse fillimisht ju keni ndjeshm\u00ebri ndaj problemeve t\u00eb tyre. Por nd\u00ebrsa koha kalon, ju filloni t\u00eb kuptoni se \u201ckoha e nevojave t\u00eb tyre<\/em>\u201d \u00ebsht\u00eb e p\u00ebrhershme.<\/p>\n

Viktimat largojn\u00eb \u00e7do lloj p\u00ebrgjegj\u00ebsie personale, duke e kthyer \u00e7do p\u00ebrplasje t\u00eb shpejt\u00eb q\u00eb hasin n\u00eb jet\u00eb, n\u00eb nj\u00eb mal t\u00eb pakaluesh\u00ebm.<\/p>\n

Ata nuk i shohin koh\u00ebt e v\u00ebshtira si mund\u00ebsi p\u00ebr t\u00eb m\u00ebsuar dhe rritur. Ka nj\u00eb shprehje t\u00eb vjet\u00ebr: “Dhimbja \u00ebsht\u00eb e pashmangshme, por t\u00eb vuash \u00ebsht\u00eb opsionale<\/em>\u201d. Kjo shprehje e kap n\u00eb m\u00ebnyr\u00eb perfekte toksik\u00ebn e viktim\u00ebs, q\u00eb zgjedh t\u00eb vuaj\u00eb \u00e7do her\u00eb.<\/p>\n

4 – Egocentrik\u00ebt<\/strong><\/p>\n

Njer\u00ebzit egocentrik\u00eb ju rr\u00ebzojn\u00eb moralisht p\u00ebrmes distanc\u00ebs q\u00eb krijojn\u00eb me njer\u00ebzit. Sa her\u00eb rrethoheni nga njer\u00ebz t\u00eb till\u00eb, ju filloni t\u00eb ndiheni t\u00eb vetmuar. Kjo ndodh sepse mes tyre dhe jush nuk ka asnj\u00eb lidhje emocionale. Ju jeni thjesht nj\u00eb mjet i tyre p\u00ebr t\u00eb nd\u00ebrtuar vet\u00eb-besimin.<\/p>\n

5 – Ziliqar\u00ebt<\/strong><\/p>\n

P\u00ebr njer\u00ebzit ziliqar\u00eb, bari \u00ebsht\u00eb gjithmon\u00eb m\u00eb i gjelb\u00ebr diku tjet\u00ebr. Edhe kur di\u00e7ka e madhe ndodh p\u00ebr njer\u00ebzit ziliqar\u00eb, ata nuk marrin asnj\u00eb k\u00ebnaq\u00ebsi nga ajo. Kjo sepse ata e masin fatin e tyre kund\u00ebr gjith\u00eb bot\u00ebs, n\u00eb vend q\u00eb t\u00eb marrin k\u00ebnaq\u00ebsi nga brenda. T\u00eb shpenzuarit e shum\u00eb kohe me ziliqar\u00ebt \u00ebsht\u00eb e rrezikshme, sepse ju m\u00ebsojn\u00eb si t\u00eb zhvler\u00ebsoni arritjet tuaja.<\/p>\n

6 – Manipulator\u00ebt<\/strong><\/p>\n

K\u00ebta e shterrojn\u00eb koh\u00ebn dhe energjin\u00eb tuaj n\u00ebn mask\u00ebn e miq\u00ebsis\u00eb. Ata mund t\u00eb jen\u00eb hileqar\u00eb sepse ju trajtojn\u00eb ju si miq. Ata e din\u00eb se \u00e7far\u00eb ju p\u00eblqeni, \u00e7far\u00eb ju b\u00ebn t\u00eb lumtur. Por ata e p\u00ebrdorin k\u00ebt\u00eb informacion si pjes\u00eb t\u00eb nj\u00eb axhende t\u00eb fshehur. Gjithmon\u00eb duan di\u00e7ka prej jush, dhe n\u00ebse i ktheheni marr\u00ebdh\u00ebnieve me ta, \u00ebsht\u00eb e gjitha: merr, merr, merr, merr, pa dh\u00ebn\u00eb asgj\u00eb n\u00eb k\u00ebmbim.<\/p>\n

7 –\u00a0Dementor\u00ebt<\/strong><\/p>\n

N\u00eb serin\u00eb e librave \u201cHarry Potter\u201d, t\u00eb \u00e7mendurit jan\u00eb krijesa t\u00eb liga q\u00eb thithin shpirtrat e njer\u00ebzve jasht\u00eb trupave t\u00eb tyre. Kur nj\u00eb i till\u00eb hyn n\u00eb dhom\u00eb, b\u00ebhet err\u00ebsir\u00eb, njer\u00ebzit ftohen, dhe fillojn\u00eb t\u00eb th\u00ebrrasin kujtimet e tyre m\u00eb t\u00eb k\u00ebqija. Rowling thot\u00eb se ajo, si autore, e zhvilloi konceptin \u201cdementors<\/em>\u201d (t\u00eb \u00e7mendur, q\u00eb s’takohen nga realiteti), bazuar n\u00eb njer\u00ebzit tejet negativ\u00eb – lloji i njer\u00ebzve q\u00eb kan\u00eb aft\u00ebsin\u00eb p\u00ebr t\u00eb ecur n\u00eb nj\u00eb dhom\u00eb dhe thithur jet\u00ebn jasht\u00eb saj.<\/p>\n

Ata thithin jet\u00ebn prej dhom\u00ebs duke injektuar negativitetin dhe pesimizmin e tyre mbi \u00e7do njeri q\u00eb takojn\u00eb. K\u00ebndv\u00ebshtrimet e tyre jan\u00eb boshe, dhe ata injektojn\u00eb frik\u00eb n\u00eb \u00e7do situat\u00eb. Nj\u00eb studim i Universitetit \u201cNotre Dame\u201d gjeti se student\u00ebt q\u00eb q\u00ebndronin af\u00ebr dhomave t\u00eb moshatar\u00ebve q\u00eb mendonin negativisht, ishin m\u00eb t\u00eb predispozuar p\u00ebr t\u00eb zhvilluar t\u00eb menduarin negativ, madje edhe depresion.<\/p>\n

8 – T\u00eb shtremb\u00ebruarit<\/strong><\/p>\n

Ka disa njer\u00ebz t\u00eb caktuar toksik\u00eb, q\u00eb kan\u00eb q\u00ebllime t\u00eb caktuara, q\u00eb marrin k\u00ebnaq\u00ebsi t\u00eb thell\u00eb nga dhimbja e tjetrit. Ata duan vet\u00ebm t\u2019ju l\u00ebndojn\u00eb, t\u2019ju b\u00ebjn\u00eb t\u00eb ndiheni keq, ose t\u00eb marrin di\u00e7ka nga ju, p\u00ebrndryshe nuk kan\u00eb interes tek ju. E vetmja gj\u00eb e mir\u00eb rreth k\u00ebtij lloji \u00ebsht\u00eb se ju mund t’i shquani q\u00ebllimet e tyre leht\u00ebsisht, q\u00eb e b\u00ebn m\u00eb t\u00eb leht\u00eb largimin e tyre nga jeta juaj.<\/p>\n

9 – Paragjykuesit<\/strong><\/p>\n

Ata jan\u00eb t\u00eb shpejt\u00eb p\u00ebr t\u2019ju th\u00ebn\u00eb ekzakt\u00ebsisht se \u00e7far\u00eb \u00ebsht\u00eb e mir\u00eb dhe \u00e7far\u00eb jo. Ata kan\u00eb nj\u00eb m\u00ebnyr\u00eb p\u00ebr ta b\u00ebr\u00eb gj\u00ebn\u00eb q\u00eb ju e keni pasion t\u00eb duket si m\u00eb e tmerrshmja. Ata e zbehin d\u00ebshir\u00ebn tuaj p\u00ebr t\u00eb q\u00ebn\u00eb pasionant dhe ekspresiv.<\/p>\n

10 – Arrogant\u00ebt<\/strong><\/p>\n

Njer\u00ebzit arrogant\u00eb jan\u00eb koh\u00eb e humbur nga jeta juaj, sepse e shohin \u00e7do gj\u00eb q\u00eb b\u00ebni si nj\u00eb sfid\u00eb personale. Arroganca \u00ebsht\u00eb vet\u00ebsiguri false, dhe gjthmon\u00eb maskon pasiguri t\u00eb m\u00ebdha.<\/p>\n

Nj\u00eb universitet zbuloi se arroganca \u00ebsht\u00eb e lidhur me problemet n\u00eb vendin e pun\u00ebs. Njer\u00ebzit arrogant\u00eb priren t\u00eb jen\u00eb performues m\u00eb t\u00eb dob\u00ebt, m\u00eb t\u00eb papajtuesh\u00ebm, dhe kan\u00eb m\u00eb shum\u00eb probleme njoh\u00ebse se sa t\u00eb tjer\u00ebt.<\/p>\n

Si t\u00eb mbroni veten sapo ti identifikoni \u201ctoksik\u00ebt\u201d<\/strong><\/p>\n

Ata ju \u00e7mendin sepse sjellja e tyre \u00ebsht\u00eb kaq jorracionale. Sjlellja e tyre shkon p\u00ebrkund\u00ebr arsyes, ndaj pse t\u2019ia lejoni vetes t’i p\u00ebrgjigjeni po emocionalisht?<\/p>\n

Sa m\u00eb jorracional t\u00eb jet\u00eb dikush, aq m\u00eb e thjesht\u00eb duhet t\u00eb jet\u00eb p\u00ebr ju, q\u00eb ta largoni veten nga kurthi i tyre,<\/p>\n

Distancojeni veten nga emocionet e tyre dhe p\u00ebrqafoni nd\u00ebrveprimet tuaja me ta sikur ata t\u00eb jen\u00eb nj\u00eb projekt shkencor. Nuk keni pse t’i p\u00ebrgjigjeni emocionalisht kaosit, vet\u00ebm fakteve.<\/p>\n

Mbajtja e nj\u00eb distance emocionale k\u00ebrkon v\u00ebmendje. Ju nuk mund ta ndaloni dik\u00eb q\u00eb t\u2019ju ngacmoj\u00eb nervat, n\u00ebse nuk e kuptoni se \u00e7far\u00eb po ndodh realisht. Ndonj\u00ebher\u00eb ju do ta gjeni veten n\u00eb situata kur do t\u2019ju duhet t\u00eb zgjidhni rrug\u00ebn m\u00eb t\u00eb mir\u00eb.<\/p>\n

Disa njer\u00ebz mendojn\u00eb se p\u00ebr shkak se punojn\u00eb ose jetojn\u00eb me dik\u00eb, ata nuk kan\u00eb m\u00ebnyra p\u00ebr t\u00eb kontrolluar kaosin e tyre. Kjo nuk mund t\u00eb jet\u00eb m\u00eb shum\u00eb se sa e v\u00ebrteta. Sapo t\u00eb identifikoni nj\u00eb njeri toksik, do t\u00eb filloni t\u00eb gjeni sjelljen e tyre, q\u00eb \u00ebsht\u00eb m\u00eb e lehta p\u00ebr tu kuptuar. Kjo do t\u2019ju pajis\u00eb me aft\u00ebsin\u00eb p\u00ebr t\u00eb menduar racionalisht rreth asaj se kur dhe ku duhet t\u00eb ndaheni me ta, dhe kur jo. Ju mund t\u00eb caktoni kufijt\u00eb, por ju duhet ta b\u00ebni k\u00ebt\u00eb n\u00eb m\u00ebnyr\u00eb t\u00eb nd\u00ebrgjegjshme dhe proaktive.<\/p>\n

N\u00ebse i lini gj\u00ebrat t\u00eb ndodhin natyralisht, do ta gjeni veten vazhdimisht n\u00eb biseda t\u00eb v\u00ebshtira.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Nga Dr. Travis Bradberry Marr\u00eb nga Huffington Post P\u00ebrktheu p\u00ebr Opinion.al: Alteo Hysi * * * Njer\u00ebzit toksik\u00eb e mposhtin logjik\u00ebn. Disa jan\u00eb verb\u00ebrisht t\u00eb pav\u00ebmendsh\u00ebm p\u00ebr impaktin negativ, q\u00eb kan\u00eb te personat rreth tyre, nd\u00ebrsa t\u00eb tjer\u00eb duket se marrin k\u00ebnaq\u00ebsi duke krijuar kaos te t\u00eb tjer\u00ebt. \u00cbsht\u00eb e r\u00ebnd\u00ebsishme t\u00eb m\u00ebsoni se si […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":26397,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[2],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-7836","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","category-artikuj"],"yoast_head":"\n10 Njer\u00ebzit toksik\u00eb q\u00eb duhet ti shmangni me \u00e7do kusht - FJALA e LIR\u00cb<\/title>\n<meta name=\"robots\" content=\"index, follow, max-snippet:-1, max-image-preview:large, max-video-preview:-1\" \/>\n<link rel=\"canonical\" href=\"https:\/\/jehonashqiptare.al\/fjala\/10-njerezit-toksike-qe-duhet-ti-shmangni-me-cdo-kusht\/\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:locale\" content=\"en_US\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:type\" content=\"article\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:title\" content=\"10 Njer\u00ebzit toksik\u00eb q\u00eb duhet ti shmangni me \u00e7do kusht - FJALA e LIR\u00cb\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:description\" content=\"Nga Dr. Travis Bradberry Marr\u00eb nga Huffington Post P\u00ebrktheu p\u00ebr Opinion.al: Alteo Hysi * * * Njer\u00ebzit toksik\u00eb e mposhtin logjik\u00ebn. 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